It was a dreary overcast day in Down Town, just like the day before, and the day before that, and all the other days since the accident had hung a massive floating island over its residents' heads.
The residents didn't pay it much mind. They'd already spent their days living in Hill Town's metaphorical shadow, it wasn't much different living in its literal one
Not that Rags knew any of that.
He and his cousin had only just arrived in Down Town, prior to getting his instructions from the recruiter he'd been completely ignorant of its existence much like the rest of the Monster Kingdom.
All he knew about it was that it existed to service travelers on The Long Road and to support the airships that went from the surface to the city above. And for the most part that was all there was to know, at least for anyone who didn't intend to spend their entire life there.
The sound of heavy trudging footsteps told him Goz was close behind.
Goz and Rags had always been close. For as long as either could remember they'd been all but joined at the hip. They lived under the same roof, went to the same school, had all the same friends, played on the same stick hoop team, and now they've even gone to war together.
Most people would likely mistake them for brothers, if one wasn't a five foot tall black jackal and the other a seven foot tall 500 pound mummy.
The only resemblance they do share are the bandages which cover Goz from head to toe and Rags from neck to knee. A trait he got from his mother, Goz's aunt.
Goz himself was currently carrying two heavy stone sarcophagi which were filled with their luggage.
Rags felt bad about making him carry all of that, but when he tried to split the load he ended up wheezing by the end of the first street.
The one thing they both hated about being mummies was the need to sleep in one of those things
It was nice and comfy at home sure, but on the move it sucked
Luckily they would have to be walking much longer, as Rags rounded a corner he spotted their destination.
Puzzle Corps Headquarters
That's what the sign said, as he got closer he saw "Temporary" was jammed in the middle in extra small print.
There was a small kiosk next to the gate
Unable to maintain his patience any longer, he dashed towards it, much to the chagrin of his over burdened cousin
At the desk he found not a monster, but something that looked like an overly ornate wooden statue
It's face was mostly featureless save for a pair of hollow eyes with lines of false tears trailing from them etched into it
A sign hung from the ceiling which read "Pull for service" with a hand on it pointing to a rope dangling beneath it
Goz had arrived behind him and set the luggage down with a mighty thud just as he pulled it
The rope was surprisingly difficult to pull, and when he did what followed were a series of clicks and clacks, then the rining of bells
Suddenly, the statue's eyes flashed white and it jolted to life
It made a low grinding sound as it turned to look at him
"Good... day... sir, madam, or otherwise defined gentle monster. Welcome to the ... Puzzle Corps Headquarters... What is your business?"
Its voice was tinny and had an audible crackle to it, like one of those fancy gramaphones Rags had seen in the shops in Old Home. With each pause there was series of clicks and scuffing sounds.
"We've just enlisted in the puzzle corps, our orders were to come here." He says holding up a paper envelope with a green seal on it.
The machine snatches the envelope from him rather roughly and looks it over carefully
As it reads the seal and address its eyes begin to dim
The mechanical clunking and clicking slow, until eventually it stops, and the machine is as dead as it was when he found it.
"Hello? Are you going to let us in?"
...
"Can I at least have my orders back?"
...
While Rags was busy talking to a statue Goz reached over his cousin's head and jerked the cord, hard
Instantly the machine jolted to life
"You are to report to commander Reynault for debriefing." It said flatly.
Before Rags could respond, the wrought iron gate to his left crept open.
Goz took up the luggage once again and stepped inside
He huffed impatiently.
Rags shook off his shock at this strange experience and followed him inside.
It was only a short walk until they came to another strange contraption
This one was a large conveyor belt which lead through a leather flap into the building proper
Above it a sign read "Deposit belongings here and pull lever"
Goz looked to his cousin and, recieving only a shrug, unceremoniously dropped the two caskets onto the belt and yanker the lever.
The belt jolted to life and dragged their luggage away to somewhere in the bowels of the building
They continued on until they came to a door on which hung a small sign reading "Command"
After a brief hesitation Rags knocked on the door
...
...
...
While he continued to wait for a response Goz grew impatient
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
He slammed his fist against the door three times. Each one sounding like it was going to break the door from its hinges.
...
"Hello down there!" Called a voice from above them.
The looked up the see a window had slid open and a monster was poking his head out from inside.
They couldn't make out much about him silhoutted against the dark mass in the sky, and they were further hindered by the shadow cast by what they assumed was a large hat.
"The door, it is unlocked. You may let yourselves in." He said before ducking back inside
They obliged and stepped inside.
The interior was just as run down as the exterior. Nothing but a small unfurnished foyer, a back door, and a staircase leading up.
At the top of the stairs was a room
It was dim, only lit by the dusky light from the window and a fireplace which house a small fire
This room unlike the one below was furnished. It had a few cabinets, a desk, and a set of three chairs. The latter being placed directly in front of the window.
Sat at the desk was the same hatted figure as before
Again he was hard to make silhoutted against the window, but Rags could make out more of him
For one that was definetly a hat on his head, a very large hat, bordering on impractical
"So you are my new recruits, eh?." Said the monster, his voice nasely, but clearly male
"Come forward"
They obliged and stepped forward cautiously
The closer they came the more clear his features became
On the brim of his hat sat a massive plume of white feathers, which stretched almost as far as the brim of his over sized headware
The hat itself sat very low on his head, so low that it covered his eyes and rested on his muzzle.
Speaking of muzzles, the monster in question was obviously a fox, if not for his long slim muzzle, whiskers, and orange fur, Rags still would've known him by the smell
Not that he stunk, but canines are very keen on smells, and foxes had a very unique smell
He was dressed head to toe in black clothes fitting the style of a military man, save for the white blouse he wore undreneath his coat
And on his face was plastered a smug grin
"Good afternoon gentlemen, I hope you didn't have too much trouble with the staff."
"The staff?" Rags asked
"The machines. We are somewhat understaffed at the moment, and the higher ups are very keen on automation." He snickers to himself a little at that last comment.
"But with you here I am hoping to remedy that situation."
He stood up from his chair, though not very far
Like most foxes, he wasn't very tall, being about eye level with Rags
"Come, I will show you around." he said, starting for the stairs and motioning for them to follow
As he walked down the stairs there was an odd cadence to his steps
tap-clunk tap-clunk tap-clunk tap-clunk
The way it sounded uneven, light in one step then heavy the next, Rags couldn't quite put his finger on it
Maybe it was the boots, it wasn't uncommon for canines to wear boots, but wasn't exactly common either.
Personally rags hated boots, he couldn't stand they way they made his paws trudge clumsily over the ground
The most he would tolerate is foot wraps and even then only on rough ground
Still, he'd never heard boots sound like that before
They reached the bottom of the stairs and exited out the back door, into a small courtyard, around which was arranged a series of tents and sheds.
Rags spied a conveyor belt snaking its way out of the building and into one of the sheds, on which his luggage was moving slowly along
"This is the courtyard. Here we do our physical excercises and practice our outdoor puzzling."
The fox raised his hand and pointed to a small shed "There is the storage room. In it we keep various supplies such as puzzle components, weapons, and our foods. Though not the cheeses and wines, those are kept in that shed over there."
"In this tent is the message, there we eat the food."
He points to another small shed
"This is the puzzle shed. In it we do our indoor puzzling."
During all this pointing, Rags had noticed the black leather gloves he wore. They were long going all the way up to his elbows, like cavalryman's gloves, but during this tour he had yet to mention a "horse shed" or "riding tent".
"And last, here is the barracks. This is where you will sleep for the forseeable future."
"And these" he says stepping inside "are your comrades."
Inside were only two other monsters, a kelpy and a drake
"And last but most certainly not least, your commander, myself. Reynault." His grin deepening as he gestured to himself
"Chief commander of the Puzzle Corps, and second only to The Royal Alchemist himself in its command structure."
"Now, for the moment I must bid you all adieu. Orientation will begin at twelve'o'clock. Until then I suggest you familarize yourselves with your new comrades."
Then he left them alone with their new bunkmates
Pretty quickly they got to talking, Rags that is, Goz kept to himself for the most part
The Kelpy, a musclebound green haired guy named Erin, was outgoing if a little obnoxious. The one thing he couldn't stop talking about was he hair and how great it was. Rags wondered how he could even call a mass of seaweed hair.
The other was a drake named Red. As the name would imply he was a red drake, both in color and type. Red was a common name where he came from though so people usually called him Redrake, which is what he preferred. He had loud mouth and a hot temper, but he seemed to respect Goz and Rags's appreciation for family, then went on a tangent about his mother, which went on for even longer than Erin's hair rant.
Between that and the unpacking time went by quickly
"So yous tellin' me dat yous gotta carry dat coffin round wit yas everywhere ya go?" Redrake asked in disbelief.
"Yep" Rags replied
"Yeesh, thas tough. At least ya don gotta eat coal for every meal though. It ain't get rougha than that."
"Its not that bad. Pretty nice actually. You can't get a more comfortable bed than a well made sarcophagus, and you're guaranteed to get peace and quiet inside. The only problem is moving the-"
The jackal was interrupted by the tolling of a bell which rang twelve times, followed by the shouting of a nasally voice
"Attention recruits, report to the courtyard at once."
All of the recruits obliged and stepped outside
None of them were told too, but they lined up in an orderly fashion anyways because its just what seemed natural to do in the situation
"Now that you all are here, we may begin the orientation." Reynault started
"First, I will make one thing clear. We are not the king's army, nor are we a part of it, niether are we part of the Royal Guard. We are the Puzzle Corps."
"We are free soldiers who work directly, and exclusively, for The Royal Alchemist." He began to pace back and forth as he spoke.
"We do not take orders from anyone else. Even if the King himself wishes to command us, he can only do so by giving orders to The Alchemist."
He continued "Then, you ask, what does make us so special?"
"The answer is that we fight with our heads."
"Where the army will send a hundred fools to die in a trench, Or the guard will send a pair of fools excessively strong to die the heroic death, we send a team of the most selfish, the most scheming, the most treacherous, to confound them with the cruelist tricks known to monster-kind"
"And then, after we have wasted their time, we die like the other fools, but with much heavier pockets." He snickers.
"This guy sure likes ta hea imself talk don'e?" Redrake muttered, jabbing Rags with his wing.
"If you would like, Monsieur Drake, we could skip straight to the competence test." Reynault replied.
"Wuh, but how'd ya-"
"Normally, I would thank my mother for giving me such exceptional hearing, but in this case I think I should reprimand yours for teaching you to whisper so terribly. Even people in the city above could hear you."
"Don't yous talk about my moms lik-"
"Regardless" Reynault cut him off, "Since you have volunteered, I've decided we will move on to the testing."
"First, is the combat test. You four will attack me in an attempt to remove the feather from my hat. You may do it one by one or as a group, I leave the decision to you."
The recruits looked at each other for a moment as they tried to decide what to say
"Aight, since yous asked for it I'll go first." Redrake said, approaching his opponent, "But I ain't gonna go easy o-"
He was cut off by the fox delivering a sucker punch to his face
"I would not worry about it. I will be fine." He said with a smug grin on his face.
He turned to the rest of them
"The rest of you may attack in a group or arm yourselves if you wish. I will not object if you do."
Rags quickly ran to retrieve his weapon while Goz held back and waited
Just as he got a hold of the khopesh he heard a boast from outside, "Don't worry, my hair is unstoppable."
Followed quickly by a pair of loud whacks and an "Oh no! My hair!"
Arriving outside he found Reynault standing over Erin, who was laid out flat on the ground. Now only he and Goz remained.
Goz and Rags took up defensive stances, they may not have been trained soldiers, but they did have plenty of scraps together
Goz moved first, sending a barrage of bandage bullets at Reynault, which he casually weaved between.
Rags slashed at the air with his blade, sending three blue waves his way, hoping to slow him down
Reynault side stepped the first two, making minimal movements while he did, but was caught in the last one, forcing him to stand perfectly still, if only for an instant
And an instant was all they needed
Goz lashed his leg with a bandage and sent another towards his arm while Rags charged with his sword raised, ready to slash the feather from his hat
Reynault stood perfectly still as the two attacks rushed towards him
Then, just as they were about to hit, he caught the bandage attack in his left hand, and the sword in his right
Rags was stunned
His opponent had palmed a strike from his khopesh. Even holding back as he was, it still should've sliced his fingers clean off.
Holding the blade, he looked it over curiously.
"Tis a strange weapon. Anubian, no?"
Just as Rags formed a reply, he recieved a knee to the gut, and the khopesh was wrenched from his hands.
Then Reynault flipped the blade and slashed the bandage on his ankle.
He yanked the one in his hand, obviously trying to throw Goz off balance, but the mummy was stout.
He braced himself and held his ground, even managing to drag his opponent towards him once he put his weight into it.
Still, it was strange this scrawny canid was giving him this much trouble. By all rights he should be swinging him around like a rag doll.
Just as he was about to win the tug of war, Reynault slashed the other bandage, causing Goz to lose his balance and face plant in the dirt.
He scrambled to get to his feet, and found himself at sword point the instant he did.
"Et c'est la fin." He said smugly. They couldn't understand his words, but the grin on his face, which had deepened enough now to reveal his canines, said it all. Its over.
He flipped the sword around and offered it to Goz
Goz snatched the khopesh from Reynault and went to tend to his cousin
"Mon Dieu, you four are terrible."
He snickered to himself for a moment
"Since you have all proven yourselves to be most incompetent at fighting, we will progress to the next test. But first I will give you a moment to rest and clean yourselves up."
The rest of the day went by much as it had in that fight
He gave them riddles which none of them could understand to test their wit
Then gave them a puzzle which they took three hours on before accidentally soft locking it
Then he made them run laps, which they only barely managed to finish on time.
By the end of the day, they were exausted frustrated, and confused
"Heaven above, I never knew soldiering would be this hard!" Rags said in an exasperated sign
"Tell me about it." Replied Redrake, " I took this job cuz I thought dere wouldn be fightin."
"I don't know if my hair can handle much more of this." Erin said while holding a mirror in one hand and adjusting said mane with another.
Goz gave them a knowing look.
"Well whateva, I'm beat. Ima hit tha coals." Redrake said, turning towards the bed of coals he had built himself in the fireplace
"Yeah, me and Goz are pretty tired too." He said exchanging a look with his cousin.
"Well, goodnight. See you in the morning." He said before climbing into his casket.
"Hey Goz, think you could-"
Goz nodded
"Thanks."
The hulking mummy lifted the heavy stone sarcophagus lid off the floor and slid it over Rags's tomb, then climbed inside his and did the same for himself
Rags crossed his arms like all mummies do in their sleep and drifted off into the dry dusty embrace of sleep
He awoke to the sound of banging on his lid
"Hey, mummy fella. Rise an shine. Wes got trainin."
He knocked again
"Yeah, yeah, I hear you." He said groggily.
Rags grabbed on to the sides of his sarcophagus, placed both his feet on the lid, and pushed.
The stone slab tipped and fell forward. Hitting the ground with a thunderous thud.
He stepped out, stretched, yawned, and coughed the dust out of his lungs
"Hey Goz, its morning, time to get up." He said, knocking on the neighboring box
He only recieved a groan in response
"Alright, suit yourself. Just make sure to be up before training starts."
He made his way past the showers, which Redrake was waiting outside impatiently
"Come on. Hurry it up in dere. Some of us got stuff to do 'sides play wit our hair."
He turned to Rags
"If yous wanna get in dere, don botha. He's been in dere playin' wit his hair for the past hour."
"Oh, no. I don't plan on it. I can't stand water, gets all in my bandages and gives me that gross not dry feeling."
"Ya mean moisterized?" Redrake asked facetiously
"Yeah, that, its horrible." Rags replied flatly
He continued on his walk around the camp until he got to the mess hall. Redrake, having given up on ever getting clean, followed in the hopes of at least getting some breakfast.
The entered to find Reynault there, drinking coffee and eating a piece of straight bread
"Bonjour! How was your sleep?" He asked, "Good I hope. Your cousin's sleep certainly seems to be."
"Yeah, it was fine. And don't worry about him, he'll be up soon." Rags replied
"I trust he won't make a habit of sleeping in like this." he said with a snicker, "Would either of you like some coffee?"
"Nah, I don't drink anythin that don't burn. Its not good for tha stomache, least not for us drakes. Ya got any oil?"
"I think there is some kerosine in the shed under the rope and bombs."
"Aight, thanks." He said turning and walking towards the storage shed
"What about you my dusty friend, do you want coffee?"
Rags couldn't tell why, but his grin seemed to deepen at the question.
"Sure."
"Then help yourself." Reynault said, gesturing the the coffee pot and metal cups
Rags poured a cup and took a sip. It was surprisingly good.
Most mummies hated any drink that wasn't a brimming glass of sand, but perhaps due to being half jackal, Rags did actually get thirtsy from time to time and didn't mind the feeling of water in his throat. It was just water on his skin that he hated.
The coffee itself had a rich taste, with a mysterious flavor he couldn't recognize.
"What did you put in this, its delicious?" Rags asked before taking a sip.
"Oh, you know, the usual. Sugar, cream, chocolate."
At the word Rags instantly spit his coffee on the table
"HEH HEH HEEEH HEH HEHEHEH!" Reynault geckered hysterically.
Rags in the process of shoving his hand down his throat to try and pass the poison when Reynault stopped him
"I'm kidding! I'm kidding!"
Rags's terror shifted to a dumbfounded shock
"I am a canine, the same as you. What? I would poison my own coffee?"
Rags couldn't think of a response
"Of course not, it is only vanilla and cinnamon."
"O-oh." Was all Rags could muster
He'd gotten chocolate poisoning as a cub, it was the worst experience of his life. To this day he still has a fear of sweets over it.
He could see the Reynault still laughing over it, but he just didn't understand how another canine could possibly find it funny
"If only you had seen the look on your face. It was without price." He snickered again.
Rags didn't bother finishing his coffee, the exchange having thoroughly ruined his appetite
He dumped out his coffee and went back to the barracks, deciding he should probably wake Goz if he isn't up already
Just as he reached the door he heard a scream inside
He rushed into the building the see Erin standing in the middle of the floor with a towel hanging from his head
"NO! NOOOOOO!"
"What's wrong?" Rags asked in a panic
"It's my hair! It's ruined!. Look." The kelpy said. pulling at the towel which was firmly stuck to his mane of green "hair"
"I don't understand, I used the no stick shampoo. How could this happen." He asked, on the verge of tears
"My apologies." Said Reynault, who had entered the barracks in the confusion
"I saw your shampoo and thought it looked nice, so I borrowed it. Then I enjoyed using it so much that I got carried away and used it all. Not wanting to deprive you of proper hair care I replaced it with some of my own, and returned the bottle to its original place." Reynault said, obviously feigning pity in his voice.
"How could you?!" Erin demanded
"It was an honest mistake." He snickered "Next time I will be sure to tell you before I use it all."
"I-I I... don't have time for this. If I can get my reserve bottle out I might be able to salvage something." He said, hurriedly trotting off towards his bunk.
Rags hardly had time to think before there was a splash, a crash, and a roar coming from the direction of his casket
He turned around to see Goz, dripping wet, with a bucket on his head and a scowl on his face
Reynault snickered again. "My apologies my dusty friend, I did not know you were sleeping there. I needed a place to set my bucket and figured no one in the corps would ever sleep this late, so I set it atop your casket, thinking it was empty. I must have forgetten about it when I went to make breakfast."
He grinned "Oh well, at least you have gotten your daily shower." He geckered
Reynault spoke again, louder than before. "I would like to inform all of you that training will begin in fifteen minutes, so I advise you all to be ready by then."
Then he turned and walked outside
It didn't take long for them to get ready
Even Erin was able get his hair to an acceptable state, though it took Redrake threatening to burn it off if he didn't get out of the shower to do it
Goz had been toweled off to the best of his ability, but he'd likely be feeling uncomfortably damp for the rest of the week
When the time came they all lined up in the yard just like they had the previous day and waited for their instructer to address them
"Our first lesson for today" the eponymous instructor began "Will be on basic trap laying."
He stuck his fingers in his muzzle and blew a loud whistle
In response, a self driving hand truck rolled out into the yard and deposited a wooden chest on the ground
"Do any of you know what this is?" He asked the group
"A box?" Redrake replied
"Yes, but also no. I have a better question, have any of you ever heard of mimics?"
"You like doze guys dat look like boxes den bite people who try ta take dere stuff? Yeah my cousin vinny got bit by one a dem. You tellin us dis here's one of dem guys?"
"Close, yet no cigar. The puzzle corps once had many mimics in its employ. They were vital to many of our japes and deceptions. Unfortunately, most of those schemes placed them in close proximity to humans. And now all of them have either died or quit." He paused
...
...
"Wh-" just as Redrake opened his mouth he continued
"But! Our ingenious leader, at the suggestion of yours truly, developed a solution. The Mechano-Mimic. A device which can perfectly replicate the abilities of a mimic while being completely mass produceable. What you see before you is one such device."
He steps closer to it
"I will now instruct you in its operation."
He flips it over and pulls a crank out from a concealed compartment on the bottom
"First, you retrieve the crank from the crank compartment, then you place in the slot in the back like so, and charge it." He says, beginning to turn the crank
And he kept turning, and turning, and turning some more
"Ho-" right as someone was about to ask a question, he spoke
"With the device fully charged, you then open it." He kicked the trunk open, revealing its two rows of long sharp teeth
"Then you bait it. For our purposes today we will use Erin's shampoo, since it is suitably desirable for company at hand."
"Hey!" Erin interjected
And was promptly ignored
"But just imagine this as something a human would want."
He reaches inside the jagged metal maw and places the bottle in the middle of the chest
"Lastly, you arm it by pressing these two switches on the inside, then wait ten seconds."
He took a few paces away from the trap as it ticked audibly
on the the tenth tick, there was an audible click, the chest's teeth retracted and it swung shut.
"Now the trap is set."
He turned to the recruits
"Any questions?"
"Wh-" He cut them off.
"No? Excellent. Now I will show you how to disarm it." He continued
"The machine can detect the soul power of the one opening it. This one is calibrated to only attack strong souls, so it will spring on any humans, but will let monsters like us access its contents unmolested."
He once again stepped over to the machine and opened it, this time gripping its lid and carefully lifting it open.
"Now All you need to do is reach inside and press the same switches you used to arm it."
He hesitated for a moment, then reached his hand inside.
There was an audible click as the machine's teeth popped out of their hiding place, then a clunk as it closed on his arm.
"AAAAAGH!" He screamed as he fell backwards, his arm remaining in the thing's jaws
"AAAAAAAGH!" He repeated as he held up his stump of a limb to the rest of the group
"AAAAAAAGH!" They all replied in unison.
"AAAAAAAHHHAH-HAH-HEH-HEH-EHEHEHE!" His laugh slowly shifted into a gecker.
"Kidding! Kidding!" He said, his face returning to its normal grin.
"Unfortunately, not all monsters' souls are created equal, nor are the eyes and ears of those who calibrate the traps, so should you ever find yourself caught in one, simply give it a hearty kick on the chin to disengage the lock."
He said, before kicking the thing hard. Knocking it on its back and sending the lid flopping open.
He casually bent over and pulled his severed arm from the contraption
Then he placed it against his elbow and clicked it back into place
"Any questions?" He asked the group
All they had in reply were dumbfounded stares.
Next was physical training
It went better than yesterday, but not by much
Today he had decided to make them run endurance instead of sprints, so they could at least go at a slower pace
but it went on and on
Reynault spent this training sitting in lawn chair, his feet propped on a table, sipping tea while he shouted words of encouragement through a megaphone
"Keep it up, only one more hour to go until you're halfway through."
Rags and Redrake, being the only ones in the group who ran as a hobby, were keeping good pace while the rest were far behind gasping for air
"Ey, whas wit dis guy?" Redrake asked, pulling beside Rags
"What?" Rags replied
"This Ray Not fella. Whadya think his problem is?"
"I heard plenty of stories about drill sergeants before enlisting, its normal for them to be hard on their troops so they can toughen them up." Rags replied between breaths
"Bein tough I get, its da weird stuff he's doin that I don't. I mean what do tyin people's shoelaces togetha and replacing dere sugar wit salt got ta do wit fightin."
"Well, huff huff he's got experience with it and we don't. I think he'd know better what good training is."
"I think thas tha problem wit him."
"What?" Rags asked, carefully swerving around a hole
"He's been out in it too long. Dat mess, its scrambled his head, made em weird. My mutha always warned me about-" Redrake was interrupted by a shout from Reynault's megaphone
"You'll run longer if you don't waste breath talking."
"Yes, sir." Rags replied, only now realizing he and Redrake were passing his chair again.
"What are you two talking about that's so much more important than running?"
"Nothing you'd care about sir." Rags replied
"Nonsense, I always love to hear about Mother Drake."
The comment gave Redrake whiplash, he nearly faceplanted he stopped so abruptly
"What?"
"I always love to hear stories about your mother. I find them to be positively enrapturing. I remember once, I heard one about how she repelled an entire human attack all by herself."
"Who told yo-" Redrake was cut off
"She simply lifted her arms and the smell was strong enough to route the entire force."
"Are you sayin-" Reynault cut him off again, the smirk on his face growing as he did
"And I heard another tale about there was this cruel gorgon tormenting a small child, so she turned the creature to stone with just a glare from her hideous visage."
"Are you callin-" Reynault cut him off a third time, a toothy grin now plastered on his face
"So of course, hearing all these stories, I had to see her for myself. So I traveled to the West Quarter to see for myself"
"How do you know-" Reynault didn't acknowledge the interjection
"I found the stories to be pale imitations of reality. Her looks, her aura, were worse than anything the story had said. And of course, upon seeing me, this poor, kindly old woman-"
"MY MA'S NOT OL-"
"Was instantly smitten with me." Reynault said, pausing to snicker. "So of course, I couldn't say no, regardless of how repulsive she may have been."
"I followed the directions to the address of her behind, and after a three hour walk-"
"MY MA'S NOT FA-"
"I found, to" He snickered again, "to my dismay that." Rags could tell he was doing everything in his power not to burst into a fit of laughter, "That two dozen men were already waiting in line ahead of me."
"YOU SONNUVA-"
"GEHAAAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAHAH!" He gasped for air "BWAAAHAH-HAH-HAH-HAAAH!" At this point he was slapping his knee as he cackled uncontrollably
He finally managed to get control of himself and quiet his lafter into strained gasps
"I'LL KICK YOUR FRICKEN ASS, YOU PUNK!" Redrake shouted "NOBODY TALKS ABOUT MY MA THAT WAY!"
Reynault's posture straightened and his face returned to its normal subtle grin
"Well, if you'd really like another sparring match so soon, I suppose I can arrange it."
"You're gonna wish you didn-" Snowdrake was cut off by Reynault again, this time by him shouting into his megaphone
"The marathon is over! Now is time for sparring!"
Redrake was ready to hit him in the face, but Rags held him back until the others arrived
All there, they looked at their opponent, with malice in their eyes, Redrake, especially, was fuming
Literally
Smoke was rising off of his body
"The rules are the same as yesterday, take the feather from my hat and you win. You may begin whenever you like."
Redrake moved first, charging in with murderous intent
Reynault smirked and brought his fist down on Redrake's head just like last time
But unlike last time he speed on and slammed his beak into his opponent's chest.
It knocked Reynault back and caused him to stumble
This stumbling quickly turned to wrestling as he fought to regain his footing
Reynault poked the furious drake in the eye and then used the confusion to trip him
Redrake stared up from the floor with hatred in his eyes and drew in a deep breath
In the back of his throat a dim red glow grew to a blinding scarlet inferno
Reynault only had an instant to weave out of the way before a blast of fire shot from Redrake's beak
Thinking quickly he slammed his boot down on the fire breathing drake's throat, causing him to choke on his own flames and break into a fit of smokey coughing
The quick thinking vulpine's reprieve was short lived however, as instantly Erin was striking him with a barrage of sticky kelp bullets.
He moved fast to weave through the orange projectils, but was caught off gaurd by a white one, which made him stumble
Before he could regain his footing, he found himself caught in Goz's bandage attacks
Now immobilized, the two hit him with a barrage of bandage and kelp attacks, until he found himself complete wrapped up
While he struggled to break free, Rags charged him
Struggle as he might, Reynault couldn't break free
Rag's khopesh was only inches from his head
Then, out of nowhere two swords came down and slashed the bindings
Reynault dropped and rolled out of the way of Rags's attack, making sure to trip him while he did so
Meanwhile a pair of magic daggers flew at each of the remaining monsters, forcing them to dodge out of the way
By the the time Rags had climbed to his feet, Redrake was still on the ground coughing, his two other comrades were being held to the ground by a pair of dagger shaped bullets pointed at their necks, and Reynault was holding a rapier, the point of which he placed uncomfortably close to Rags's chest
"A valiant effort, but unfortunately for you, all in vain." Reynault said with a snicker
In response Rags only held up his hand, the contents of which were a white fluffy plume
Confusion flashed in Reynault's eyes as he reached up to feel his hat.
Finding it empty he looked back to Rags
...
...
...
"Heh!"
"Heh-heh-heheheh!"
"Well now it would seem the joke is on me."
He snickered
"Well done. Very well done." he applauded
at first verbally, then literally, clapping his hands in a round of applause
"You have passed your first exam."
He smirked as his sword dissolved into air
He called the daggers back to his hands and placed them in his coat pocket.
"Still, there is room for improvement."
He helped Erin and Goz back to their feet,
"You two seemed to forget that I too have bullets I can send against you."
"And you..." He said walking over to Redrake
He knelt over and put his hand on his neck
A flash of green sparks shimmered around his neck as the tell tale chime of a healing spell sounded
"I appreciate your enthusiasm, but you must learn to think before you attack. You should've lead with that breath attack."
"You all have earned a break. Take the rest of the day off. We will resume training tomorrow." He said, dusting himself off and walking away.
later that night
Reynault was sat at his desk, reading through his daily paperwork when he heard a knock at the door
"Come in!" He shouted
His guest let himself in and ascended the stairs to his office
"Ah, monsier Rags." He said, not looking up from his papers. "What can I do for you?"
"Sir, I've been thinking... about today."
The jackal paused to collect his thoughts
"I thought about all those tricks you played on us, about how angry you made each of us, and then about how well we did in our exam. And..."
He paused again
"And I have to ask, did you do it on purpose?"
"Do what?" Reynault asked.
"Make us mad, so we'd be more motivated to beat you."
"Is that what you think I was doing?"
"Yes, sir." Rags replied "Am I wrong?"
Reynault set down his papers and looked directly at Rags
"Monsieur Rags, you are a clever one, very clever."
"But I am sorry to say I must dissapoint you."
Rags's face shifted to confusion
"The truth is that war is an all around unpleasant business. Between my grizzly affairs at the front, and my boring affairs here, I have scarce time left to enjoy myself. The only moments of levity I do get are when I am allowed to torment new recruits like yourself."
...
"Oh." Was all Rags could say
...
"Was there anything else you wanted?" Reynault asked, returning to his papers
"No." Rags replied.
"Good. You are dismissed."
Rags started down the stairs
"Oh, and Monsier Rags."
He stopped
"Please tell the others not to disturb me until the morning. This is just as much a break for me as it is for you."
"Yes, sir."
The ever softening footsteps followed by the thud of the door told Reynault he was alone once again
Now he could finally finish his report to his superior
"To my old friend, Royce."
"I hope this letter finds you well."
"Those new recruits I recieved are doing very well."
"I suspect they will be ready for deployment by the end of the month."
"I am pleased to say the same about the arm you made for me."
"It works well. Strong enough for fighting, and dextrous enough to handle a sword."
"Though if I do have one complaint, its that its too stiff to write with, which you'll no doubt be able to tell from my handwriting."
"I'm still trying to break it like you suggested, but should the problems persist I will be forced to come in for a tune up. It is most frustrating trying to use it for anything that requires fine motor control."
He switched the quil to his left hand so he could at least write a recognizeable signature
He maganed to write Rey before his hand slipped and mangled the y.
He set down the quill and looked at his left hand
It still shook like it did earlier
He removed his glove and a small mass of dust fell from it onto his paper
His arm still had most of its feathers intact, but his talons looked gnarled and weathered
The claw on his ring finger was gone, along with the third digit of his pinky
If this kept up, no one would be able to tell he was an enfield
Of course most people already confused him for a common fox due to the gloves
But that was better than them seeing the state he was in
He took the pen back up in his false hand
"I fear I may be coming to see you soon regardless."
"- Reynault"