Kazuya on his computer, clacking away at the keyboard, close up on his monitor, text appears on the screen

THIS SUMMER…

Party fighting demons

THE APOCALYPSE IS GONNA MAKE PEOPLE START DANCING…

cuts to people dancing at the club

FURIOUSLY

pixie looking startled “Say WHAAAAAAT?!”

Law hero in jail “so… you’re locked in here too, huh?”

Chaos hero all bruised “That asshole Ozawa and his gang! He’ll pay for this!”

ONE BOY AND HIS FRIENDS

meeting Futsuko for the first time “Hello, I am the leader of the Resistance, Futsuko”
Kazuya stammering “y-y-y-yeah I knew that… already.”

WILL SAVE TOKYO

Kazuya’s mom turning into a demon
Kazuya: “JESUS CHRIST!”
Law Hero: hey man don’t say his name in vain

FROM DEMONS

pixie exerting herself trying to punch Cerberus on the nose “hrrrrng!! Take that! And that!!!”
Kazuya and Cerberus looking at eachother in confusion

AND THE APOCALYPSE

at Thormans office
Chaos Hero: “NUKES???? You mean like NUKE nukes??”
Thor: “What other nukes are there, genius?”

running out of the American Embassy
Guard; “What happened? Why do you look so stressed?”
Kazuya: “alright, who’s gonna tell him?”

cuts to a white void
Futsuko: “I’ll use the last of my power to save you, Kazuya…”
*cuts to Kazuya in the Diamond Realm
“Alright… WHAT just happened?”

cuts to the Tokyo ruins
“Woah it’s like a bomb went off in here… wait, THIRTY YEARS?!”
macca beggar comes in
“EW! Give me macca you broke piece of shit!”

Chaos hero: “So Ozawa runs shinjuku now…”
*cuts to shinjuku police beating a pregnant woman * Chaos Hero: “yeah, that’s fits…”

“Your alignment differs from mine.. I can’t let you live!”
Kazuya: “well, I mean, you can think about it”

reincarnated Futsuko dancing at the club, Kazuya looking in awe
Pixie: *slapping him * “SNAP OUT OF IT!”

Alice: “Won’t you die for me?”
Kazuya: “you see, that’s the ONE thing I can’t do for you”

SHIN…
cuts to Kazuya getting hit in the shin by an Oni “OW owowowowow”
Futsuko, looking unimpressed: “Dia”

MEGAMI
Kazuya getting his ass beat by a demon “oh, for the love of-“
Law hero: “don’t”
“FOR THE LOVE OF record scratch!”

TENSEI
Futsuko and Kazuya on top of Tokyo tower at night about to kiss
Cerberus: howls at the full moon and ruins the whole moment

COMING 202X

*cuts to everyone driving in a car, Pixie changing the radio to play Eazy-E”
“Now THIS is my jam!”