KFC Gets a Win!
Combusken,
Take care of this, I am busy.
Mission Request: Stop the Hypno Cult!
Requirements: Secret Rank
Reward: 10,000 Poké
Request Description:
The mystery dungeon, named Windy Heights, is in a Mountain Range Northwest of Gooey Bog, on the Mist Continent. At the end of the dungeon, there is a Female Hypno who has built a monastery and has hypnotized several exploration teams to do her bidding. Multiple high-ranking teams have been sent to stop her, but not one has returned. She may be trying to amass an army and take over the world. Capture the Cult Leader Hypno, either dead or alive, before it is too late.From,
The Office of President Alakazam
As the name suggested, Windy Heights was cold and rocky with harsh winds and a steep incline spanning from the base to the peak of the mountain. At these high altitudes and low temperatures, the greenery was practically non-existent. However, the dungeon produced strong enemies to protect a vast quantity of treasures.
KFC, a Combusken, adorned with a red and white checkered scarf, had been making his way to the summit where the Hypno dwelled. Directly in front of him was a medium-sized room with an exit and valuable items scattered across the floor. As he took his first step in the room, 12 menacing Pokémon suddenly appeared, 1 Absol, 1 Rampardos, 1 Golem, 2 Weavile, 2 Aggron, 2 Mamoswine, and 3 Ice-Cold Sandslash,
The enemies surrounded KFC as he scowled, “Ugh… this is the fifth monster house I’ve come across on the way up here.” A bright glow emanated from his talons, each beginning to form a ball of energy. The sphere of aura started to quake, then as all of the Pokémon were mere inches away from KFC, the balls destabilized and exploded, shooting him up into the air, and sending his foes careening backward into the side of the mountain. KFC repositioned himself so that his chest was parallel with the floor then concentrated aura into each of his hands, while the dungeon enemies regained their stance and composure. One-third of them waited for their trespasser to fall, unable to attack at long range, while the other two-thirds developed an icy frost in their mouths. KFC launched the aura spheres down. Simultaneously, the 8 large beams of ice energy were fired and on a direct collision course with the Combusken. As he clenched both his fists, each ball split into 4 and homed onto their targets. The 8 orbs tore through the beams effortlessly and slammed into the Pokémons’ faces. KFC reoriented his feet to the floor, as the damaged dungeon dwellers collapsed and vanished. The Combusken landed and the 4 remaining foes rushed in when suddenly the ground beneath KFC made a clicking noise. A large explosion erupted from the trap enveloping everything in the room in an orange-yellow fireball. KFC quickly put up his guard and winced in pain, as his enemies were vaporized by the trap and the items on the floor disintegrated.
The explosion cooled leaving behind a large, blackened crater. The ashes settled and KFC, wrapped in a bright blue light, remained standing but was damaged. The concentrated aura faded and the Combusken was covered in soot and small burns. While panting heavily, trying to catch his breath, KFC’s scowl deepened. “Dammit, of course, there was a trap! It took me 35 seconds to dispose of these pests too, just as slow as the last two times. Why am I not getting any better?!” KFC touched the adhesive patch covering his left eye. The bruised eye socket still stung even after 3 days had passed since his run-in with the Quartet. He brushed off the soot and hobbled toward the exit, avoiding the unsprung traps.
After a short break to recover his energy, KFC began climbing the final stretch of the mountain. During the hike, he complained, “Why can’t these cult leaders congregate at a café or something? Why does it always have to be at the top of the tallest mountain or in the deepest of caverns? It’s getting old!”
“(This cultist better not be some incompetent moron with a god complex, and can give me a decent fight, so this trip isn’t a complete waste of time,)” KFC thought.
At the summit, there was a plaza, and in its center was the monastery, which was built from the whitest marble KFC had ever seen, like it had been polished non-stop for days. The temple had a pyramidal structure and countless steps that led to a cuboidal room at the top.
A Lopunny, wearing a light brown band on her thigh and an exploration badge with a red center, waited at the entrance of the plaza, her arms were slouched, and her entire body was hunched over. As KFC approached, she straightened her back and rotated her entire body 270 degrees counterclockwise to make direct eye contact with him. The bright pink eyes that Lopunny are known for were faded and glazed over by a foggy hue and her pupils were fully dilated covering the majority of her iris. He waved his hand in front of her face, however; her eyes did not follow the movement at all. “That’s a deep trance, albeit poorly programmed,” KFC said nonchalantly. “It’s going to take a lot more than a few heal seeds to snap her out of it. In fact, the hypnotist might be the only one to be able to undo it. Damn, I guess I’ll have to be strategic about this.”
“welcome… to… salvation… follow… me… please…” Lopunny muttered in a quiet and raspy monotone voice.
KFC and Lopunny walked toward the temple when a Leafeon which had its head held down, dragged a think brown rope over to her. Leafeon set down the rope and then said “here… rope...”
Lopunny picked up the rope off the floor, turned 180 degrees counterclockwise, and then walked behind KFC. “hold… still… please…”
“(Let’s just get this over with.)” The Combusken preemptively held his hands behind his back and Lopunny loosely wrapped the rope around his wrists. “(Damn, this is going to be easier than I could have possibly imagined.)” KFC kept the rope held tight so it wouldn’t unravel.
She returned to her previous position in front of KFC as he continued to follow her, while the Leafeon walked in the back. KFC looked at the Pokémon in the plaza and many stood vacantly while making a noise that sounded like they could only spew out the static that was bouncing around in their empty minds. It was almost as if they were waiting for some trigger or command.
Some Pokémon were moving, as at regular set intervals these explorers swiped a scrap of what used to be an exploration bag back and forth to polish the steps, walls, and floor of the temple.
As KFC climbed up the steps of the temple, he asked, “Are you programmed to respond to questions?”
“welcome… to… salvation… follow… me… please…” Lopunny repeated in the same monotone voice.
“(Maybe that question was too much of an edge case to warrant a correct response…) Where are we going?”
“welcome… to… salvation… follow… me… please…” she reiterated.
“(I guess the answer to my first question is a hard no. I am obviously dealing with an amateur, so what happens if I say…) here… rope...” KFC said, copying the way Leafeon articulated it.
Then, without missing a beat, Lopunny bent down and hit her head on the monastery steps while trying to grab a nonexistent rope and re-did all the same actions as last time, including saying the phrase “hold… still… please…”
“(They can’t even tell if an object is there or not. This Hypno must be either really weak or really fucking stupid,)” KFC thought.
At the top of the temple, KFC was guided into a room dimly lit by candles. The interior walls had streaks of red and black paint probably in an attempt to make the place look classy and sophisticated, but it looked closer to childish scribbles. In front of the wall, furthest from the door was the Hypno, sitting on a gold throne with velvet padding, elevated on a marble pedestal.
KFC was brought in front of the throne, and Lopunny and Leafeon moved to KFC’s left and right sides, respectively. Hypno used Psychic to force KFC onto his knees. “Welcome!” She exclaimed with a bright smile. “I’d like to thank you, as you were the only one who didn’t put up a fight. Normally, the converts try to escape, so we have to pin them down and hypnotize them on the spot. However, since you’ve been a good sport, I’ll give you the entire story of my cause you see---”
KFC cut off her monologue with an exasperated groan. “No, I don’t want to find true happiness. No, these Pokémon don’t like being controlled. No, I don’t want my Thetan levels measured. No, there is not going to be a dimensional merge. No, there is not going to be an extra-terrestrial ship that will take you to salvation. No, you are not going to achieve world peace. No, you are not a good guy or a victim.”
Hypno’s smile quickly faded, as she became noticeably agitated. “Umm actually, I am going to achieve world peace! And I am the good guy! As I was saying, it all began on a tragic day when I was a kid---”
KFC, again, interrupted Hypno’s spiel. “The children in school called you ‘big nose’ or something, then the voice in your head told you to forgive them and help them reach their true potential.”
“First of all, there aren’t voices in my head! I chose to be this world’s savior of my own volition. Secondly, who told you my back story because you’re seriously sucking the fun out of this?!” The Cult Leader whined.
“I guessed, you’re just very basic. (Although it’s more like an educated guess since this is the 8th or 9th cult leader that I’ve dealt with.)”
Frustrated, Hypno shouted, “YOU’RE BASIC! You know what? I was trying to be a gracious host, but if you’re going to be rude, I’ll just have to hypnotize you, right now!” Hypno pulled out her pendulum and got down from her throne to stand over KFC.
He remained completely calm, as he stared directly at Hypno’s pendulum. “(Alright, it’s now or never!)”
Hypno swung her pendulum back and forth. Her psychic essence filled the pendulum, and it began to be released in bursts of waves. KFC’s aura shifted. Its frequency became more stable and matched the psychic energy Hypno was emitting, except it was 180 degrees out-of-phase.
After what felt like hours, but was really only a few minutes, she stopped and waved her hand in front of KFC’s face. His eye did not follow her movements. “Rise,” she commanded. Then, he stood up. “Good,” she nodded. “You’re very obedient.” Hypno spun around to return to her throne, as the rope that KFC had been holding quietly fell to the floor.
“Now you three, go stand guar---” Before Hypno had time to react, KFC had struck her in the back of the neck with one swift chop. She immediately collapsed to the floor.
“Wow! She single-handedly proved the stereotype that psychic types are smart and powerful dead wrong,” KFC exclaimed, as he grabbed the rope on the floor.
All the Pokémon in the room remained idle like frozen statues since Hypno could not finish her command.
KFC snatched her pendulum and used the rope to hog-tie the unconscious cult leader. “That chop was barely half strength, though she went down so easily. I may have not gotten a good fight, but at least there was no collateral damage.”
After half an hour passed, Hypno’s eyes shot open. “What is this?” She struggled in vain to break free from her bondage, as her gaze darted around the room trying to recall what happened. “Where am I?” She said in a panic as her glare locked with KFC who was waiting patiently on her throne. “You, Combusken, untie me this instant!”
He walked over to the bound outlaw and picked her up with his left arm.
“What are you doing?!” She exclaimed, “I said untie me!”
“No, I don’t really feel like it. How about, instead, you release everyone here from your hypnosis, then maybe I’ll consider it?”
“Ha!” Hypno realized, “I don’t need your help I can break free with my psych---”
KFC whipped out her pendulum from his scarf. “If you try to escape, I’ll destroy this.”
“Do you have any idea how hard it is to get another one of those?! It’s super critical to my goal!” She shrieked.
“Nope, and I don’t care. Undo the hypnosis now.” He demanded.
“Never!” Hypno cried stubbornly, “I’d rather die than do that.”
“Suit yourself.” KFC, changing his approach, generated a small blue orb from a single digit on his claw and aimed it squarely at Hypno’s forehead. “This is your last chance; I can always come back later with someone else to fix it,” KFC bluffed. Hypno’s eyes widened, as she began to psychically undo the rope knot to break out of her entrapment, but the knot was too tight to be undone. “I’m going to fire it in 3--, 2--, -”
“Okay! Okay! You win,” the cult leader relented, “I’ll do what you asked.” Hypno unleashed a large burst of psychic energy from her entire being, spanning over the entire mountain.
The hypnotized Pokémon began to snap out of their trance. They began to blink, their torso straightened, and they no longer looked like hunched-back zombies.
The Lopunny rubbed her temples, attempting to soothe her throbbing migraine. “What happened, my head is killing me?”
“Not sure, but I was having this awful dream where I was being controlled,” Leafeon replied.
“It wasn’t a dream.” KFC walked outside. From the top of the monastery, KFC saw that all the other captives had also been freed from Hypno’s mind control.
“See? They’re all free. Now, please untie me, the blood is rushing to my head.”
“No.”
“What?!” Hypno exclaimed. “You said you would let me go if I ----”
KFC interjected as he started his descent down the temple’s steps, “I said I would consider it. I did, and my answer is still no.”
“You tricked me!” she shouted.
KFC ignored his captive’s tantrum and addressed the confused explorers in the plaza. “Attention everyone!” Most of the Pokémon turned to look at the Combusken. “You were being controlled by this one here,” He explained, as he held up the hog-tied hypno to the crowd. “Now go home! Your friends, family, guild, or lover are probably worried about you, and next time, don’t take on a mission you’re too weak to handle.” With the convict in tow and a scowl on his face, KFC used an escape orb, and a bright flash of light enveloped the pair and whisked them away to the entrance of Windy Heights.
“You’d better get comfortable. We have a long trip to your delivery point.” KFC was holding Hypno as if he was lifting a kettlebell from its bottom.
After 30 quiet minutes of walking, Hypno grew bored and even a little anxious due to the deafening silence. “So, umm… do you mind if we talk?”
KFC kept his focus on the path ahead, clearly uninterested in anything the cult leader had to say, “I don’t care.”
In an effort to break the ice with her captor, she asked, “Do you have a name?”
“Yes, I’m KFC.”
“That's a strange name. Do your parents hate you or something?” She asked in a somewhat joking manner.
With the comedy lost on KFC, he responded coldly, as any warm feelings he had for his brethren had been lost and forgotten, “Yes, but that is a separate issue.” He corrected her presumption about his family caring enough to give him a proper name. “I was given a nickname by others, and it stuck.”
Hypno was perceptive enough to notice the implications of KFC’s answer, and out of curiosity, she pressed further on the topic, “Your parents hate you, but you don’t act like you’re bothered by that?”
“That’s because, my father is a lot like you, a megalomaniacal monster hell-bent on controlling everything.” The focus on his past only made his scowl grow deeper, as his frustrations worsened. Subconsciously, KFC decided to switch topics, “However, the key difference is that he and his kind are crazed lunatics with incompressible strength, while you’re just an arrogant fool with no power to back up any of the crap you spew.”
Feeling the unrelenting urge to defend her pride, Hypno exclaimed, “I’ll have you know my hypnotic abilities are second to none!”
KFC couldn’t help but scoff at the mere notion of Hypno being the best at anything. “Then you must not get out much; I’ve faced hypnotic powers over twice as strong than anything you’ve managed to muster up which is sad because I was hoping for a good fight.”
Hypno, thinking she found an opportunity for escape, responded, “That’s only because you never got a chance to see true power. Untie me, and I can give you a fight you’ll never forget.”
He was becoming increasingly annoyed by her, “The last guy said the same thing. Although, I would hardly call what happened that day a fight, so I don’t plan on making the same mistake by wasting more of my time with you.”
“I’m not a waste of time! I’ll have you know that I am---”
To stop her attempt to hype herself up, KFC interjected, “Average and predictable. Not a single thing you have done today was something that I hadn’t seen before. I would even hesitate to say that I beat you, because ‘to beat’ implies that there was some sort of challenge when, in reality, capturing you was a chore.”
“Then, why even bother showing up?!” Hypno asked loudly. “You chose to catch me, yet you seem mad that you did so.” She was beginning to see the cracks in KFC’s logic and was eager to pursue her examination further.
He kept his guard up and elaborated, “Because I have a job to do and a promise to keep. However, for every 100 idiots that try to take over the world, there is 1 dipshit who is a genuine threat that I should be training with all my energy to fight.”
Hypno tilted her head, perplexed at the Combusken’s response. “So, you think that your job is getting in the way of your job?”
“It’s not that, I just…” KFC had to pause for a moment since he was having trouble thinking of a response. “I just wish the fools like you would stop.”
“Sounds to me that you think that you’re too valuable or strong to ‘waste your time’ with outlaws weaker than you.” She finally found the root of his problem and decided to pull. “Earlier, you called me arrogant, but have you looked in a mirror?”
KFC turned to glare at Hypno and slightly rose his voice, “I am anything but arrogant! I have had my ass kicked, repeatedly, my entire life. I know my own strength, and where I need to be, but I’m still not even close…” He shouted, “All because I have to put everything on hold and deal with you… cretins!”
Hypno grew numb to the lashing of insults at this point. Now, her sole concentration was on her examination. “Shifting the blame onto others is standard narcissistic behavior. Have you ever considered that your shortcomings are all because of you? For example, maybe you’re lazy.”
Suddenly, KFC spiked her tied-up body into the ground. The earth cracked on impact but the small patch of grass cushioned Hypno from substantial injury. “When I’m not dealing with idiots like you, I train every waking minute of my life!”
Even though she is still wincing from the pain, she managed to yell “Then maybe you’re using your time inefficiently!”
“NO! it’s that… it’s that… it’s…” KFC was at a loss for words, trying to think of a comeback or justification for his own weakness, but nothing came to mind. When he calmed down, he, at last, realized Hypno’s words could possibly have merit. She was still bounded by rope and immobilized, as he collapsed into a sitting position on the floor. “I don’t know what to do. Every day, I work my body to exhaustion but I’m still not improving fast enough, and if I’m not ready for everything, I won’t be able to keep my promise.”
“You mentioned that earlier. What did you promise?”
KFC clutched his scarf tightly and recited the words as if they were etched into his heart, “I promised to make the world the best place it can possibly be.”
It took a great deal of strength for Hypno to suppress her chuckle. “That seems rather simplistic, doesn’t it?”
KFC looked down and smiled fondly. “Maybe, but that’s the kind of guy he was. He helped me at my lowest and always did everything he could to help, no strings attached. He genuinely wanted the best for everyone, for the world. I can’t thank him enough, carrying out his dream is the least I can do.”
“Why not shoot for something greater like world peace?”
KFC shook his head, “Because true world peace isn’t possible. There will always be a problem to solve and individuals who do evil things. The world will only get better through dedicated effort, whether that be catching criminals, stopping disasters, fighting against all odds, helping others reach their potential, or even helping others with the most mundane of problems. He believed that by doing these things, the world will become a better place to be.”
“But do you believe that?”
KFC, perplexed at her question, quickly exclaimed, “What are you saying? Of course, I do!”
“Then why complain about having to go out of your way to do a mission? If those are the requirements for you to get one step closer toward that dream, a task like this can’t truly be a waste of time.”
“…” KFC was silent, he shut his eye and looked deep within himself to reflect. He realized that he hadn’t been acting the way he should. His recent actions and outbursts came from a place of frustration, being unable to live up to the expectations that he set upon himself. Complaining and excuses achieved nothing. He couldn’t change how everyone else acts, but he could change himself. His only option was to work even harder.
KFC collected his thoughts and picked up Hypno off the grass. “I hate to admit it, but you are right. The way I conducted myself was out of line. You may be a no-good outlaw, but even you don’t deserve to be attacked while defenseless.”
“Thanks…” she sighed, “at this point, I’ll take what I can get.”
With the captured cult leader in tow, KFC resumed the journey to the delivery point. “Now, I have a question for you. Do you honestly believe that you were acting as the ‘good guy’ up there?”
Without an ounce of hesitation, she explained, “I did. I thought that if I could control others to be quiet, safe, and obedient, then I could make the world a permanently peaceful place. However, you made me change my mind.”
KFC, caught off guard by her sudden change of heart, asked, “Huh? How so.”
“Talking you through your problems, made me feel something I hadn’t felt in a long time, a sense of satisfaction. I never liked controlling others, but I deeply believed that was the way to help.”
KFC tightly shut his eye and concentrated intently on the aura that exuded from her being. It was overridden with sadness and fear, but deep past the gloom, there was a genuine sense of remorse and a spark of hope and light.
Hypno had opened her mouth to say something but quickly shut it as she understood that KFC was right and that her best course of action was to accept the consequences. Without warning, he slashed open her binds and set her down.
Shocked, she sputtered “What is this? Why are you letting me go?”
“You are an idiot, but you do want to help others, even though your last attempt boarded on being psychotic I think you serve the world better free rather than rotting in some dingy prison cell, so I am going to cut you a deal,” KFC revealed the pendulum to Hypno. “In exchange for this, I’ll give you a second chance; however, if you pull anything like that cult shit again, I will find you, and I will kill you.”
Hypno looked down, still bewildered by the Combusken’s proposal. “I thought the only way to help was through controlling others. If given a second chance, I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”
“You are good at talking others through their problems; that seems like a good place to start. So, what’s your answer gonna be?” KFC asked, tapping his foot impatiently.
“Deal.” She clasped his hand and shook it firmly. as she muttered a soft, “thank you.”
KFC walked to the transport point, as Hypno headed in a separate direction.
The Federation Aquatic Transport Official, Dewgong, waited patiently on the frigid arctic shore and noticed that KFC arrived, empty-handed.
Dewgong turned around, getting ready for boarding. “Hmm… what did you do to the outlaw? Did they escape?”
KFC hopped onto his back and gave the signal to depart. “Don’t worry, everything has been taken care of, and I’ll detail it in the mission report later. Now, let’s head back to Capim.”
As Dewgong traveled southwest and left the artic waters, Although, the ocean and wind currents caused large swells and rough ride, KFC managed to maintain his composure as his mind stirred with questions, “(Was that the right thing to do? What would you have done? What can I do to improve faster?)”
Eventually, the lingering thoughts faded as KFC drifted to sleep.
After a few hours of travel, the sun began to set as Dewgong pulled into Capim port. He tapped the passenger’s shoulder, “Wake up, we’re here.”
“Okay…” KFC mumbled while rubbing his eye.
Back at the guild, the mess hall was filled with boisterous chatter and a bright cheery energy from all the guildmembers, which was in stark contrast to KFC’s serious disposition. As always, he grabbed the prepared plate of dinner and sat at the small unoccupied table in the corner of the room, so he could quietly eat his meal alone. After a long shower, he dried himself off and walked to his room to write the mission report.
To the Offices of the Federation:
At Windy Heights, I successfully managed to capture the Cult Leader, Hypno, and release the hypnotized masses for her control. However, during our trip to the delivery point, she broke free of the rope and attempted to make her escape. After a fierce battle, she still resisted, so I had no choice but to end her life. Therefore, I dumped her body in a nearby river. As proof of her defeat, I stole her pendulum which should be enclosed in the same envelope as this report. In place of reward money, I would like you to procure something for me. Please see the appropriate forms attached to the back of this letter for further details.
Signed,
Aura Guardian Trainee, Combusken
[END]