" Alyssa looks at Johnny and me, which causes Kathryn and Joan to giggle. Johnny and I get t...

" Alyssa looks at Johnny and me, which causes Kathryn and Joan to giggle. Johnny and I get that not me expression, the last time I had Alyssa’s tamales Johnny and I had gotten into them early and eaten a lot. We didn’t get any for dinner, but they weren’t any left at all after dinner.

Joking Johnny says, "Hey JJ Mom’s only making thirty extra for each of us tomorrow night."

Alyssa says, "Who said you’re getting any. You can have six on New Year’s for each of you, JJ and Johnny. The sixty extra are for the girls were going to help me make them."

Kathryn gives a triumphant, "Yes!" This is immediately followed by Joan doing the same. Mom and Sam are giggling at the rest of us.

The feelings I’m having are unpleasant, and I hate to admit they exist. I really don’t want to get mad at the situation because I really would regret it later, and with an eidetic memory like mine you learn quickly not to make those types of mistakes. It’s not that I’m perfect; it’s just that I can’t forget any of my mistakes. So I calm myself down as fast as I possibly can.

Johnny doesn’t have the type memory like I do, so before he can really get mad about it I say, "Johnny we can go get enough ingredients for another hundred and twenty from the grocery store. I’m sure we can find some more volunteers to help make them."

Alyssa says, "Now that’s the best idea yet."

I start to find the volunteers to help make the tamales; I give a call to the coach who declines, he and the boys are watching a football game. Johnny learning that the game is on disappears with only saying, "Sorry."

That left no one but me to help make more of the tamales. Then Ms. Clark comes to mind, we haven’t got to see the girls Miss Clark brought over in a while. I’m sure they’re all out from school over the Christmas break, and it is early enough in the day that she still should be at her office. After talking with Kathryn and Alyssa, I give Ms. Clark a call and ask, "Miss Clark I know it’s short notice, but I was wondering if you could bring the girls out. We were going to have a dinner on New Year’s with most of the family. We’re making tamales this evening I’m sure I can afford enough ingredients so the girls can make some to bring back with them. We’ll make dinner for the girls too."

Ms. Clark says, "JJ you’re a lifesaver, those girls have been bored to death since Christmas. It’s getting bad trying to find something to keep them busy."

I knew Ms. Clark was going to jump on the opportunity to bring the children out; it gives them an experience with a family. It exposes them to at least four different couples financially capable of adopting. That is her job, to ensure the well-being of the children either through adoption or by the state. A lot of the social workers became familiar with all the family during the recent adoption of Sam. Occasionally when Ms. Clark would come out in the past she would bring one or two other young girls with her. It would give Sam some interaction with children her own age, but it also gives Ms. Clark an opportunity to talk to Sam in a more relaxed manner. Children seem to relax more when another child is involved.

I left to pick up the additional ingredients that Alyssa wanted me to bring, not only were we going to make tamales, but tacos for dinner for the children. We would involve everyone in the process of making dinner, because we could take the ingredients from the stove and allow the children to build their tacos at the table. We would keep the children safe and nowhere near the cooking surface, but give them the thrill and experience of preparing their own meal. To a child it is a big event doing anything for the first time.

By the time I return, with Sam who insisted on coming Ms. Clark is there with the children, she had a couple little boys with her this time. The house is full of voices of children as they play and I tell Sam to go play with them. It doesn’t take Sam long to find one of the girls she has befriended from Ms. Clark’s visits. The two skip off together happily.

Kathryn displays a wide smile as a young girl feels Amanda kicking with a look of wonder on her young face. Alyssa seems to be very affectionate to that young girl and I wonder if I’ve just added to the family. I can hear the game going on downstairs, and realize the Coach and my brother-in-law’s moved over here knowing that Alyssa will not turn them down from having tamales. I’m thankful I got more than what Alyssa asked for.

MC is even there, she has a young girl on her lap and they both talk with a smile on their faces. I think to myself MC needs someone special in her life, she is a beautiful woman although I know she’s been heartbroken by someone just recently. He assumed she was out of work, poor and when a richer woman come along he dumped MC for her. After MC said she didn’t want to see him anymore she informed him that she was actually a billionaire. Needless to say the asshole tried to apologize, I don’t think she accepted his apology and he didn’t show up for Christmas. I’ve had a hard time dragging MC out of her home ever since then. It’s really good to see her smile again.

Ms. Clark walks up to me and says, "Thank you JJ for having the children over, it looks like they’re having a good time for the first time this week."

I can’t help but ask, "Ms. Clark how tough is it for single woman to adopt? MC, Michelle seems to be hitting it off with that young girl in her lap."

Ms. Clark giggles before she says, "You called her a member of your family right, so then she’s been checked out by the organization already. If she did the paperwork, we can have the child in her home in less than a week, and finalized in two months."

Alyssa has the same young girl up in her arms right now and I ask Ms. Clark if the same holds true for the Judge and his new wife. Ms. Clark simply shakes her head yes with another giggle.

Who knows that play house might get a lot more use now that Sam isn’t going to be the only child her age around here. Sam and her friend come back up to me and ask, "Can we go out to the play house?" Sam adds, "Please Daddy."

I look to Ms. Clark who only shakes her head yes, I look back to Sam and say, "You can go for a while but you have to come back in for dinner and to help make tamales. You can take a few of the girls with you if you want."

Sam with a bright smile says, "Okay, Daddy I just want to show my play house to my friends." Sam takes a hold of the young girls hand and the two skip off together, and they talk to a couple of the girls before going out to Sam’s play house.

Ms. Clark says, "Maybe I should go keep an eye on them."

I switch to Sam’s play house channel on the TV set and Miss Clark looks surprised for instant before she says, "I should have known, you are a protected parent with enough money to do things like that."

I chuckle and say, "It’s a two-way channel by the way, there’s a TV set inside Sam’s play house displaying us right now."

Sam seeing the display says, "Hi Daddy."

A couple of the other girls have come to where they can see and stand near Miss Clark. Sam’s friend Cindy says, "Miss Clark you’re on TV."

Ms. Clark giggles and says, "So are you Cindy." Cindy’s eyes got large at that bit of news, and Sam giggled at her expression.

In a bright voice I say to the girls, "Why don’t you two put on a show for the other girls, they can watch and then take turns putting on shows for you."

Sam giggles saying, "That sounds like fun."

Sam and Cindy start whispering back and forth as the figure out what they want to put on for a show for the other girls. We let the girls watch as Sam and Cindy begin singing a song before long the girls in the room join in, even the three-year-old that’s clutching to a teddy bear much like Sam’s.

Ms. Clark mouth nearly falls open in shock at the youngsters change in behavior, pulling me over to the side she tells me. "That’s Crystal she just came to us two weeks before Christmas, her family died in a car accident and she’s been withdrawn. The only thing beforehand she would say is that’s her teddy bear. She barely leaves it to take a bath, and it always has to be in sight or she panics."

I ask, "So she came with the bear."

Ms. Clark says, "No, that’s the oddest thing, it showed up on Christmas morning. No one at the orphanage gave her the bear; I got a good look at it a couple times. It doesn’t have any of the normal tags. It’s not from build a bear and unlike any teddy bear that’s on the market. It had a note saying it was from Santa Claus, but who believes in that."

With a chuckle I ask, "What you never read, Yes Virginia There is a Santa Claus. You deal with children all the time, they believe even when people say they shouldn’t believe in the spirit of Christmas. Only later in life when we get disappointed we stopped believing in that spirit. Maybe if we still believe the world would be a better place."

Before Ms. Clark has time to reply, Alyssa announces it’s time for everyone to start help making dinner and then will make the tamales right after.

Sam says, "We’ll be right there Aunt Alyssa."

Ms. Clark and I bring the rest of the girls in, and Crystal actually allows me to pick her up. Ms. Clark only shakes her head at the difference in the young girl. Walking to the table with the young girl, I stand her in a chair and she holds to her teddy bear and I steady her by one hand on her other shoulder. I ask Crystal, "Have you ever done this before young lady?"

Crystal shakes her head no and I ask, "Have you ever had a taco before?" Crystal shakes her head yes, causing her light brown hair to fly in waves. I say, "Judging from that yes I bet you like tacos." Again Crystal shakes her head yes vigorously.

I take two plates one for me and the other for Crystal, I place a tortilla on my plate and wait for Crystal to do the same after a moment when she doesn’t I ask, "Would you like a tortilla?" Crystal shakes her head yes, so I add one to her plate. Crystal isn’t very talkative, but as long as she shakes her head yes or no I can deal with that. I noticed Ms. Clark is watching me intently as I work with Crystal. The next item to decide on is it beef or chicken, Alyssa had prepared both, personally I like the beef. I take some of the beef and put it on my taco. I ask Crystal, "Which you like best the beef or chicken on your taco?"

Crystal looks up at me, and I can tell she almost wants to say something but is almost afraid to. I gently ask "Crystal do you want the beef or chicken on your taco?"

Crystal still looking into my face like she’s trying to figure out if she says something it will make me mad or not, so I smile to reassure her and wait patiently. Instead of saying anything Crystal points to the beef, and I add a few pieces to her taco before I ask "Would you like more?"

Crystal again simply shakes her head yes, so I add a few more pieces and ask "more?" Still without saying a word Crystal shakes her head yes. Again I add a few more pieces. Crystal smiles up at me which gives me the idea I’ve given her enough meat. So I slide the plates on down, the next few bowls hold, lettuce, diced tomatoes, guacamole, and cilantro. I put a little of all of it on mine, before I ask Crystal if she wants any of it on hers, I ask "Crystal do you want, lettuce, tomato, and guacamole? You might try a bit of this one but it’s a little spicy and if you’re like Sam you won’t like it, but I like it. Crystal simply shakes her head no, so I ask, "Would you like lettuce and tomato or just guacamole?"

Crystal shakes her head no so I asked her to do one thing I know she will do, "Crystal you just point to anything you want on yours?" Crystal gives me a smile and points to the tomatoes. So I add some diced tomatoes to her taco, when Crystal gives me a smile I know that I added enough. Before we go anywhere else I ask, "Anything else?" Crystal again shakes her head no.

So I slide our plates on down, Alyssa has placed a number of sauces to add some kick to your taco. First is a bright red sauce, mostly made from tomato with a tiny bit of cilantro. The next is a green sauce made from Chilies and a bit spicier, the next is a roasted chilies sauce which is a lot spicier. I ask Crystal, "I think I’ll pass on the hot sauce how about you?"

Crystal have been looking at my face and she cracks a smile and gives her head a shake yes. I take our plates and we set down next to one another on the opposite side of the table. I fold my tacos a little differently than most people, most people simply fold them in half but I fold mine more like a burrito, flipping one site in before folding it in half with that side held at the bottom. I found out that causes a lot less spillage, and fewer embarrassing stains.

Crystal mimics the way I fold my tacos, and she takes a big bite chewing happily. Sam comes and sets in my lap she looks over at Crystal and says, "Hi."

Crystal for the first time actually says anything to another person directly, she returns Sam’s greeting saying, "Hi."

I can almost hear an audible gasp from Ms. Clark who is now on the other side of the table making a taco for her and another of the smaller children. I look up and see Ms. Clark smiling who explains, "That’s the first word Crystal has spoken to anyone directly in nearly two weeks."

Alyssa seems to be helping the same girl and I over hear her calling her Anna. She is almost the same age as Sam and also one of the newer girls Ms. Clark has under her care. George shows up with a young boy a little younger than Anna maybe a year or a few months more than that. George slides into line beside Alyssa and gives her a kiss on the cheek, he looks like he needs to ask her something important, and she has the same expression.

The little boy greets Anna with "Hi sis." Anna returns his greeting with, "Hi brother."

George and Alyssa both got bright smiles as they simultaneously say, "Brother and sister." It looks like the couple can read each other’s minds in that instant and I would bet Marshall, Joan and Johnny are going to have a younger brother and sister in a couple months.

Ms. Clark looks at the two for an instant and a bright smile comes across her face as she looks away. I’ve heard it is hard placing siblings; few people want to adopt two children at the same time. I’m sure Ms. Clark worried about having to split the two up. It would be traumatic for the two siblings, the brother and sister placed in two different homes, never knowing if they can see each other again.

Kathryn comes to set down, seeing Crystal she asks, "Could you sit on my lap and we sit together?"

Crystal only hesitates for a moment before shaking her head yes to Kathryn, after sitting her plate down Kathryn gently lifts Crystal and places her in her lap, but Crystal loses her grip on her teddy bear and it falls to the floor, not even thinking Kathryn reaches down and picks up the bear handing it back to Crystal. The look on Kathryn’s face as Crystal gives Kathryn a kiss on the cheek for returning her teddy bear tells me everything. I know in that instant that Crystal will be part of our family. Kathryn feels the connection to Crystal just like we felt for Sam.

My only worry is Sam. I know she was excited about having a younger sister when we told her the news about Amanda. I wonder if she would feel the same excitement learning that Crystal will be part of the family too.

After getting their food George speaks to Miss Clark whispering a question to her and she shakes her head yes still holding that smile after that Alyssa, George, Anna, and her brother go to the patio to eat.

I leaned over whispering into my wife’s ear, "Would you be willing to add Crystal to our family?"

Before Kathryn can answer I practically see Amanda jumping she’s pressing on Kathryn so hard I can see the outline of both little feet. Giggling Kathryn says, "I think Amanda likes the idea."

I straighten back up and gently ask Sam, "Sam would you like to have Crystal as a younger sister?"

Sam looks at me and her eyes seemed to be as green as ever as she says, "I think she would make a good little sister. Can I adopt Cindy as my big sister?"

I tell Sam, "We’ll have to ask Ms. Clark if we can. I think Crystal really needs us right now, and we can see if Cindy can come too." Kathryn has a slight confused expression on her face for second then shakes her head smiling as she does. Kathryn and I would do almost anything for Sam, our love is like that. We both sense that Crystal should be with us. We’re not sure if Cindy should be, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask Ms. Clark. Hopefully taking care of three girls shouldn’t be that much more difficult than taking care of two. Fortunately for us we still have lots of family nearby.

Marshall and Misty along with Ron and Reese show up just then, as the coach and Johnny get in line I realize it’s halftime. Jokingly I say, "I guess Alyssa timed dinner just perfect for halftime."

Misty giggles at all the little girls before she asks, "Why are all these children here?"

I can’t resist playing with her and say, "Misty if you put your hand on your belly I think you’ll figure out why soon enough."

Now given me an angry look, but her eyes tell that she really isn’t angry, Misty sticks out her tongue before she says, "JJ you know what I meant."

Giggling Kathryn says, "JJ got enough ingredients to make four hundred tamales, and was looking for volunteers to help."

Crystal from Kathryn’s lap says happily, "I’ll help."

Sam quickly says, "Me too."

Most of the young girls say as well, "Me too."

Reese and Misty giggles and says, "Me too." Marshall and Ron kiss their wives, but shake their head no.

Joking with them I say, "They are going to leave me alone with all these beauties."

Marshall and Ron chuckle before Marshall says, "Like you would ever cheat on Kathryn. We’ll see the sun moved backwards first."

Kathryn giggles at that before she looks at me and says, "Probably for a full-day before he would even consider it."

With a chuckle I say, "Not even then."

Dinner was fun, and I helped Sam and Crystal get seconds along with myself, when we return Sam set in Kathryn’s lap before she says, "You can sit and Daddy’s lap." It’s then that I’m sure Sam is fine with adding Crystal to the family. Crystal doesn’t hesitate but comes into my lap easily.

A little after dinner I get the chance to speak to Ms. Clark, it’s then that I ask, "Ms. Clark, Kathryn and I would like to adopt Crystal, when can we start the paperwork? Cindy is she available for adoption too?"

Ms. Clark begins, "About Cindy, she is a special case her parents are still alive. Her father abused and neglected the girl after her mother was imprisoned. Unless the mother gives up her parental rights no adoption is possible. Unfortunately she’s between foster homes; I don’t have anyone to place her with. As for Crystal I’ll speak to the judge, I have a temporary order all he needs to do is sign it after we insert Crystal’s name."

I shake my head with a large smile before I say, "We definitely don’t need the money that the state will give us as foster parents. How tough is it to become foster parents, Kathryn and I would be happy to care for Cindy until her mother is released."

Ms. Clark says, "With your recent background checks, and your references no problem at all. Cindy’s mother should be released in about six months."

With a chuckle I say, "I bet you got the paperwork for that too."

Ms. Clark says, "Would you blame me if I do?"

Still chuckling I say, "I thought it was the Boy Scouts that are always prepared."

Ms. Clark returns in a subdued tone, "And social workers who don’t have enough room for the children they have to care for."

That silenced my chuckle in a heartbeat and I ask, "Is there anything else I can do for the children?"

Ms. Clark has a soft smile as she hugs me stepping back she says, "Bless you JJ, you’re helping with the overcrowding already, you helped stretch our food budget by feeding them tonight, and it looks like three more of the children are getting their adoption started tonight as well. If you or anyone else I wouldn’t ask any more them than you have already done, but we need warm coats and clothing."

I say, "Is that all? I’ll do that in a heartbeat; after all I have a large family that would love to take the children shopping. We can get them warm clothing for the rest of the winter. If you need any more food, or anything else ask and it is yours."

Ms. Clark asks, "Just like that, I don’t need to beg?"

I say, "Just like that, anything you need for the children make a list and I’ll see that you have it as soon as I can get it. Anything that is needed urgently for the star beside it, I’ll do whatever I have to; to make sure you have that right away."

Kathryn slides underneath my arm still holding to Crystal as she holds to her bear; she’s not clinging to it like before. They both smile up at me before I say, "Crystal would it be all right if you came and stayed with us?"

Crystal looks from me to Kathryn, who smiles brightly and says, "Please Crystal would you stay with us?"

Crystal reaction isn’t exactly what I thought it would be, she just throws her arms around Kathryn but she begins to cry as she clutches to Kathryn. Ms. Clark says in a very soft voice, "Crystal has not grieved yet, this is actually good."

Kathryn holds Crystal as she cries and I gently caress Crystal’s back. I whisper, yet loud enough for both Kathryn and Ms. Clark to hear, "You’re safe now Crystal, you’re with your new family we’re going to take good care of you."

Ms. Clark says, "JJ can you take care of Crystal starting tonight. I think it would be best for her if she stayed with her new parents. I’m sure the judge will approve it."

It almost sounds like Crystals holding her breath waiting for my answer so I don’t hesitate. Feeling Kathryn’s agreement I say, "I can’t think of a better place for Crystal than with her new Mommy and Daddy and her big sister."

Crystals head pops up and she looks into Kathryn’s eyes and asks, "Really?"

Kathryn smiles back gently saying lovingly, "Really Crystal, if it’s all right with you."

Crystal buries her head against Kathryn again and begins to cry once more I can sense a difference in her tears they’re mixed between relief and joy. Ms. Clark has a confused look, like she can sense the difference too but doesn’t understand quite yet. I tell Ms. Clark, "They are joyful tears; Crystal is relieved of the fear of being alone."

Ms. Clark is smiling brightly as Sam runs to me seeing Crystal is upset and crying Sam holds her teddy bear from Santa and it looks remarkably the same as Crystal’s teddy bear. Sam says, "Daddy, catch me."

I hold my arms open as Sam jumps into me hard with a thump as our chests meet. My arms wrap around Sam keeping her from sliding down as her legs wrapped around me. After taking a breath Sam leans over and begins to hug Crystal and Kathryn now that she’s at the same level. Sam says, "It’s okay Crystal, our Mommy and Daddy really love us."

Crystal turning her shoulders and head and looks in Sam’s face before she asks, "Are you going to be my sister?"

Giggling Sam replies, "I sure am, look even Santa got is the same type bears to let us know we’re going to be family."

Ms. Clark sucks in her breath hearing that. Crystal giggles and says, "That’s what my note from Santa said, when I found a bear like mine I would know I’m home."

Ms. Clark says, "Oh God I wish I had not thrown the note away."

Crystal reaches into her pocket and pulls out a tattered folded piece of parchment, she unfolds it and it reads. To my Princess Crystal: This bear will show you your new home when you find one like it. Love Santa Claus.

Smiling at Ms. Clark I say, "Doesn’t that make you feel like your nine again, and still believe in Santa."

Laughing Ms. Clark replies, "I don’t know about being nine, but I do believe."

Ms. Clark excuses herself going for her briefcase and her prepared paperwork still in the van she came in. When she returns Ms. Clark uses a pen to fill in Crystal’s name onto a form for temporary custody and a second to start adoption procedures. Before Kathryn and I sign them Ms. Clark asks Crystal, "You sure this is where you want to stay?"

Without a moment’s hesitation Crystal shakes her head yes before she says, "This is the family Santa chose for me."

Ms. Clark smiling says, "I don’t think anyone would be better for you than JJ and Kathryn Meyer."

Sam says, "What about me, I’m going to be her big sister."

Giggling Ms. Clark says, "No one has forgotten about you Sam, you’re going to be a great big sister." Sam and Crystal giggle and hug each other.

Fortunately for us, Uncle George signs the orders and Crystal was ours starting that night, although another judge would have to confirmed the orders in a few days, Ms. Clark was happy to leave her with us due to the overcrowding she was currently dealing with. Uncle George and Alyssa also took Anna and her little brother Alan in that night.

Ms. Clark started the adoption paperwork for MC that night as well, but some issues prevented MC from taking the little girl home that night. Within a week she will have the paperwork accomplished and her young friend Rosy will become her daughter. Mrs. Clark supervisor wasn’t available, to approve us taking Cindy so reluctantly she returned to the orphanage that night as well. Both girls would be coming with us shopping tomorrow.

Hopefully MC can get the necessary furniture for her new daughter tomorrow, and delivered on short notice. Although I think MC in a pinch would get camping gear, MC and her daughter could have an adventure camping in a bedroom.

Our family grew by four or maybe five, some people would say it was a coincidence that I called Ms. Clark but I have a sneaking suspicion someone up there is looking out for the children. Or one more challenge to prove we can live up to it. To quote Stan Lee, who paraphrased Luke, "To who is given much, much is expected."

I don’t see Crystal as a challenge. I truly see Crystal is a reward. She’s a beautiful little girl, and I can tell already she’s full of love. All that night she didn’t leave Kathryn or my side, only on occasion Sam would pull her away for a moment. It didn’t surprise me at all when Sam led her into our bedroom, and both girls crawl onto my chest snuggle close to each other and Sam took the outside with Crystal between her and Kathryn.

Only about twenty seconds after Crystal put her head down it popped back up, with wide eyes Crystal says, "Sam you’re right. Daddy’s heart does say love you over and over."

I chuckle and say, "Crystal, it couldn’t say anything else hearts can’t lie. They also don’t have a really big vocabulary."

Kathryn giggles at that before she says, "If JJ’s heart had a bigger vocabulary, with every beat it would say, I love you Crystal, I love you Sam, I love you..."

I cut Kathryn off, saying, "Amanda, I love you Kathryn, I love you Crystal, I love you Sam and over and over."

Kathryn gives me a kiss, and then says, "When you said Amanda she jumped."

I smile broadly, and gives Sam and Crystal a kiss on the forehead and begin gently rubbing Crystal’s back first given her a few circles then moving to Sam’s back and give her a few circles them back to Crystal’s back. It doesn’t take very long before both girls are breathing slow and steady, and I think their sound asleep.

Kathryn whispers to me, "When this year started I had you all to myself. The day we got married, we got Sam, I don’t regret that. I don’t miss having a honeymoon with you. It felt like that from the day I first moved in with you. I really enjoy being Sam’s mother. I know I will enjoy being Crystal’s mother too."

I whisper back, "I love you and I love being their Dad."

I thought the two were sound asleep but they both say, "I love you Mommy, I love you Daddy." In less than a second I feel the first tear on my shoulder from Kathryn. I feel so much joy from her it brings tears to my own eyes. I continue my gentle caress of the girls after wishing them a good night. They wish us a good night in return. Kathryn wishes them a good night and sweet dreams.

Sam says, "Mommy all my dreams have come true, I got you and Daddy and now Crystal, soon I’ll have Amanda too. What more could I ever dream of?"

With a soft chuckle I say, "If you close your eyes and go to sleep you might find the answer to that."

Sam wishes me a good night again and relaxes on my chest. Kathryn says, "Sam all my dreams are coming true too. I know how you feel my beautiful little Princess."

Crystals head pops up and she asks, "Can I be your Princess too?"

Kathryn answers quickly, "Of course you’re our Princess, and you’re my beautiful little Princess too."

Both girls finally relax and go to sleep. I can feel how happy they are, even in their sleep a smile is on their faces. I realize why Sam loves sleeping on my chest. She loves hearing my heartbeat; it’s reassuring to her that she is loved. Isn’t that something that we all want, feeling that intense emotion of love no matter what? Hearing my heartbeat, as it says to her love you, Sam feels that and now Crystal. I do love them as my daughters and always will.

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