The Beginning of the Abyss Expedition

Around the great Throne of Heaven. there exists the Immortal Alliance. The Immortal Alliance has a rule; no combat, unless it is in a specific area. Due to this, it is not uncommon to see many unsavory figures within the Immortal Alliance; not as members, but instead as drifters, wandering through the boundaries of the alliance so that their enemies do not find them.

Under the great Throne of Heaven, lies the Heaven's Abyss. A boundless road that contains both treasures and monsters beyond comprehension. Anyone may enter, and the younger members of the Immortal Alliance delve into these depths in order to obtain fortune and knowledge that may help in the war against Heaven. However, all must be wary; it is impossible to rejuvenate energy normally within the Heaven's Abyss. The average cultivator must bring in materials to survive the Heaven's Abyss and sustain their energy. Despite this, a clever mind may see that there are ways you can evade this limitation.

DAY 1

Outside a cave, an old man sipped his tea. Thoughts raced through his head; one of which was "I certainly should not be drinking this tea so soon."

If you were to enter the Heaven's Abyss, you would need all materials that you could possibly get. Wasting these materials outside of an entrance to the Abyss because you were bored out of your mind is not a good use of those materials.

Another thought that raced through the old man's head was "What in the world is taking that confounded courier so long? Does he want me to be a skeleton when he arrives?"

Thankfully, the old man heard the slight flapping of wings in the distance. He looked into the sky, and watched as two crimson birds soared through the air, both large enough for a small group of people to ride on. However, instead of being ridden by people, they were drawing a large carriage that seemed to defy nature as it hung behind them, not swinging down into the world below. As the crimson birds drew closer, they stooped down to the ground, before gracefully stopping, some distance away from the old man.

The old man stood up, respectful as he is, and started walking towards the carriage, which a partcularly tall man emerged from.

"So, are you the client?"
"Am I the client? No, I'm just sitting at the entrance of hell on earth because I like the view! Yes, I'm the client, numskull."

The tall man scowled.

"Don't get mad at me, you old coot! It's a formality!"
"Bah, whatever. So, is it done?"
"Yes. I have put together several invitations for your expedition in common areas of the world. Scheduled for today, correct?"
"No, it was scheduled yesterday. Any participants are late."
"...Are you sure you just don't have any participants at all?"
"Have you seen the state of the world? There are hungry Disciples happy to get their hands on treasure everywhere. You should always expect at least one schmuck to try anything."
"Whatever you say. Would you like to fill out a review for your service with Fenghuang Mail?"

The old man looked angrily at the crimson birds, who were pecking at the ground and preening their feathers.

"Fenghuang?! Those are just big, red birds!"
"No, those are Fenghuang. Do you even know what a Fenghuang looks like?"
"Yes! They're on fire! Those things aren't on fire! You're calling oversized eagles Fenghuang!"
"What are you, the authority on Fenghuang?"
"...Alright, let me fill out the review."

The old man was handed a scroll and a brush, and he painted furiously for a few seconds. He handed the scroll back, and also gave a small bag to the courier.
The courier held the bag in his hand for a moment, and then frowned.

"...Is this it?"
"What- you- what! You didn't even look in the bag!"
"It doesn't feel like it's enough."
"Look in the bag, maybe?"

The courier opened the bag, and to his surprise it was mostly gemstones with a few pieces of shiny metal.

"Wow! Yeah, this should probably be enough."
"Get outta here."
"Geez, fine."

The courier climbed back into the carriage, and the 'Fenghuang' took off into the air, leaving the old man alone, once again.

"*(...What is taking everyone so long? Was I not clear? Maybe I should've had the courier come with me.)"

The old man went back to the entrance, and decided that if he had nothing better to do, he would meditate.

"(What should I do if no one shows up? Go in by myself? Eh, guess I'll just do that. Not as fun as when you go in with others, though...)"

DAY 1.5

It's been a few hours and, finally, the old man saw a few heads rising over the horizon. He had already taken the liberty of setting up a camp in his boredom, but it's not like the camp would see much use after the greeting.

The old man started counting... four people! That's a swell party!

As the four cultivators became clearer, he got a good look at every one of them.

There was a girl in green, who walked with a bit of pep. Good to see that there are people who are still giddy in this world.

Then, there were two people walking particularly close to each other. They must already be aquainted.
A girl in red with an apron, and a man in black, who looked like he couldn't see a thing. They were ALSO both smiling! How nice.

Then, there was a girl in black. She wasn't smiling like the otehrs, but she didn't seem particularly sad. So, good enough! She also had a drum. The old man prepared a "xylobone" pun.

As the invited guests wandered over the horizon, the old man counted a fifth head, belonging to a particularly small guest. He first assumed the rabbit to be a pet to one of the other cultivators, and the rabbit ran as soon as he saw the old man. While the old fellow squatted down to greet the cute animal, he was then shocked as it spoke to him.

"Greetings! I am Dónall! I am ALSO here for the expedition! You may have heard of my exploits?"
"EHH?"

The old man realized that this was quite rude, and soon corrected himself.

"Uh, pardon me! No, I am afraid that I have not heard of your exploits."
"Hmph. Shame."
"You can make yourself comfy while I greet the other participants."
"Very well then."

The rabbit made a slight pose, as if he was trying to subtly flex his muscles, and then he went to explore the campsite.

As for the old man, he watched the rabbit and slightly chuckled in confusion, before walking over to greet the others.

"Welcome to my expedition! As for my name, I have none! You may call me anything that you would like, but 'Boney,' 'Old Guy,' 'Baldy,' and 'Hobo' are all particularly common."

Before anyone could respond to his greeting, the girl with the apron whispered something into the man in black's ear, and began to fiddle with the campsite while he was suitably confused. She took out pots and pans from a bag she was carrying, and began to light a fire.

The old man tried to get her attention.

"Eh, we're not gonna be here long, you don't really need to do that!"

She looked at Boney, gave him a nod... and then proceeded to continue on with what she was doing, much to the old man's bewilderment.

"Hrmph."

The first of the adventurers who returned Boney's greeting was the peppy girl in green.

"Hello! My name is Lan Jìngměi, and I'm a wandering chef! Glad to meet you!"
"Ah, glad to meet you as well."

Then, the wandering chef went to fiddle with the same pots as the girl in the apron, much, once again, to the old man's bewilderment.

"...Uh huh."

The next man to greet him was the man in black.

"Nice to meet you, Boney. You can call me Xū."
"...And who's your lady friend?"
"Oh, her? That's my maid, Mei. Yeah, just let her do her own thing."
"...Can you get her to stop? We're going to leave soon, so..."
"Maybe."
"Maybe?"
"I don't know if she'll stop."

The old man frowned, looked towards Mei and Lan, and just shrugged.

"Bah. Make yourself comfy."
"Alright."

Finally, he had one last person to greet. The women in black stuck out her hand to shake the old man's and he responded as you would.

"Hello, Boney. My name is Lei Daiyu. You can call me Daiyu!"
"Nice to meet you, Daiyu."

Boney eyed her drum, and a stupid smile crept on his face.

"You play the drums, huh?"
"Yep!"
"Did you know that I used to play an instrument?"
"Oh, really? What did you play?"

Everything was leading up to this moment. Far too long has the old man gone without making a pun. He was going to use the "xylobone" punchline, and he was going to savor it. First, as all good jokes need good timing, he counted, so that he may perfect when it should come out. Counting to three is required, as three beats is the perfect time for a joke to emerge.

1...
2...

"The 'XYLOBO-"
"KARP KARP KARP!"
"GAH! WHAT?"

Boney turned to see a fish beside him. He did not know when the fish appeared, he did not know when the fish will leave, and he did not know what the fish wanted. All he knew was that there was a fish
flopping beside him, and that it had ruined his perfect comedic timing.

"What is a FISH doing here?"

Dónall spoke up, presumably finishing whatever he was doing previously.

"Oh, him? That's Magikarp, apparently. He had just emerged from the Heaven's Abyss. I thought he was with you, but apparently he was out by himself! I reccomended the expedition to him, and he has decided to return along with us!"

Boney was curious as to why he had not sensed the fish flop up to him. Then he realized that it did not have a single trace of energy emanating from it at all. This fish was completely worthless. The old man felt nothing but malice for the fish who had ruined his joke.

"...Why not? Why shouldn't I let a fish that breathes air join the expedition? It'll be great.

Daiyu questioned the old man's unfinished sentence.

"Er, what were you going to tell me again?"
"N-Nothing. It's not important anymore."
"I-I see."

Boney turned to the camp site, and decided that since he had enough people, it was time to brief everyone on the expedition. Lan and Mei were in the middle of cooking something.

"Alright, gather around, everyone! First, your duties: you are allowed to do what you wish. I ask nothing of you other than to tell me what you have found. I may ask to keep something that you have found on your own, but do not worry! You will very likely not wish to keep such a thing in the first place, as what I wish to find for myself is incredibly niche, and most people would get rid of it at a moment's notice. In exchange, anything that I find that are not plants or such a treasure that no one but me would want, you may divy up among yourselves! I have no real need for possessions or treasure. Second, the length of the expedition! We are planned to go on for one month! This time may be changed to developments along the expedition, but it will most likely consist of 15 days of delving into the Abyss, and then 15 days of leaving! Third, and most important, the gentlemen's agreement: we will all do our best to ensure that we do not die horribly! Any questions?"

As the participants of the expedition murmored amongst themselves, Lan spoke up.

"I have two questions! First, who's the fish?"
"That's... Magikarp. He's an... experienced expeditioner."
"I see. Second, can we eat dinner first?"
"Bah, why not? Alright, let's break for the night!"

There were many pleasant chats between the participants of the expedition, that night. Jokes were told, food was cooked, stories were shared, and other fun activities were enjoyed. One such activity was "Pin the Tail on the Magikarp." Very enjoyable, indeed.

BONEY'S NOTES! DAY 1!
Some good ol' notes about what happened Day 1!

I gave Fenghuang Mail a bad review.
Finally, some participants arrived! The majority seem fairly powerful! I expected more low Grade Disciples. There are a few... outliers, however.
The maid can cook, and she packed everyone's things!
The chef can cook better. I am suspicious of her packing abilities.
The man clad in black is probably an Ancestor. I can tell that he's abnormally strong.
The rabbit is funnier than me. I should work on better puns.
The drummer is pleasant.
I disliked the fish, at first. He is suprisingly pleasant.
Supplies: My herb stash is mostly intact, and the chef, the maid, and the fish brought plants with them that I can ~~borrow~~ ask politely before using. My medicine stash is completely intact.
Treasures: I will forever treasure the memory of playing "Pin the Tail on the Magikarp."

DAY 2

"Alright, everyone, wake up! Rise and shine! Today's the day!"

Boney was excited! It's not every day that you get to enjoy a dive deep into the earth, even if said dive is truly into a dangerous hellscape.

To Boney's surprise, Mei was already awake.

"Ah, Mei! I see that you are already awakened! Good job."
"A maid must always be prepared! Master and the others are still asleep, so I went ahead and prepared breakfast!"

A table was already set... and Boney did not set up a table with the campsite yesterday. Several bowls of what looked like meat stew were on the table. A type lf soup was served last night, as well. Boney did not really eat, but he could tell that it looked quite good! He could also tell that soup would be served quite often.

"Expedition Leader, you did not eat anything last night, correct? I forgot to ask, but is soup not to your liking."
"Eh, not really. I just don't... eat."
"Do you have particular preferences for what you DO eat that I might be able to prepare?"
"No, you see, I don't... really have a stomach. It's more like I can't eat."
"...Oh. But... you drink tea, right? Would you like me to prepare that for you?"
"Ehh... I kinda drink tea. But, if I could ask for something, could I merely have the tea leaves themselves, unprepared?"
"...Alright! I'll do my best!"
"Thanks."

Breakfast went swell. Magikarp proceeded to juice the stew he was given and then drink it, which was kind of weird, and Dónall was given a special vegetarian stew, which was to be expected, and Lan was a little upset that Mei didn't wake her up to help cook, which was a little awkward. The last two made agreements for how they would prepare the meals and everything was better again. Swell.

After some time preparing to actually ENTER the Abyss, Boney realized that he left out something that he probably should have told them earlier.

"Wait, one last thing, everyone! Bah, can't believe my skull was thick enough that I forgot to tell you all! We're going down a particularly unique path in the Abyss. Don't expect to see anyone else. Eh, except any of Magikarp's friends, I guess. Also... eh, Xū?"
"Hm, me? What?"
"You're an Ancestor, right?"
"...Yeah."
"We're going down through dungeons that many Ancestors avoid for a particular reason: they bring you down to Grade 7... at the highest. Some go as low as Grade 1. Just, eh, letting you know. It'll be slower than you're used to."
"Alright. That's not a big deal."
"Glad to know. Everyone; let's begin!"

As the group entered the Abyss, it became obvious that this was most certainly a path less traveled. A vast amount of dust filled the cave, causing a cloud to appear with every step. As it got darker, many of the cultivators drew a torch of some sort. Due to being Grade 8, Xū had control over every element in this world, even space! Using this monumentally powerful ability, he... harmlessly lit up the cave. A couple bats were disturbed, but that was about it. Dónall cleared his throat.

"Would it be preferred if I scout ahead, Expedition Leader?"
"Eh, I don't know. I think it's best that we all stick together for now. Bah, wait, of course! You can talk to Magikarp, right?"
"Oh, of course. Me and him have had many wonderful chats!"
"Ask him what he saw so far."
"Very well!"

Dónall turned to Magikarp.

"Magikarp! Valiantly tell me your valiant tales!"
"KARP KARP. KARP, KARP KARP, KARP. KARP KARP; KARP KARP KARP."
"I-I see."

Daiyu squatted down to Dónall's level. She seemed fascinated by the fact that Magikarp had so much to say, even including punctuation!

"Alright, what'd he say?"
"H-He said... 'Y'all don't know what's up with this shindig. Zamn, this place is wiggity WACK, yo. Been stuck in here for two days STRAIGHT; worse gettin' outta here than it is gettin' out the fish hood!' I'm not quite sure what any of that meant."
"That's... fascinating, Magikarp."

Boney stroked his chin with his admittedly thin fingers.

"I, uh, think that he's saying that he got lost in here, and therefore he doesn't know much about the place."
"KARP KARP."
"Translation, Dónall?"
"In his own words... 'Zamn straight.'"

Boney seemed lost in thought for a second, and then made his decision.

"Eh, Dónall? Never translate for him again. May his words be lost in tran,slation, forever."
"...Why?"
"He speaks the... Old Tongue. I assume he must've been cursed for his use of the language, and that's why he can only say 'karp.' You must never reveal his utterences; they may bring ruin to us all!"
"...What a grand reveal! Truly, fitting for the Expedition Leader, you are quite knowledgable!"

Boney made all of that up on the spot.

Magikarp just stared at Boney, but he said nothing.

The awkward silence was broken by Xū, who's light suddenly went out.

"Oh. Guess that means I'm Grade 7, now."

Boney inspected the walls of the cave. He did several things, such as putting his ear up against a wall, dragging his fingers across it, and tasting it.

"Yep. Grade 7 is the max, here. I can tell."

Daiyu seemed perplexed by this.

"You can tell?"
"Yep. Old trick I learned."
"Fascinating. You should teach me, sometime!"
"Yep. I should probably do that."

Suddenly, a tall door was in front of them. The 7 expeditioners all stood on end. Except Magikarp, who shed a single tear instead. Mei spoke up.

"There's something behind this door, right? What should we do?"

Boney quickly came up with a plan.

"Watch! Knock knock!"

Boney knocked on the door, and a growl was heard behind it.

"It didn't respond with 'who's there.' That means we kill it. Everyone, just... let's just jump it!"

They opened the door.

Sometime later, they were all enjoying a nice stew made of a giant boar. They decided to break for a few hours.

THE END.