Confession of Love

Something I wrote ages ago that qualifies for the thread. Probably not to everyone's taste, but somebody might like it, and hopefully it'll keep interest up and the thread alive.

“I love you.”

My eyes widened with the realization I had actually spoken the words, not just thought them. My heart hammered in my chest like some infernal dwarven machine that was trying to throw off the confinement of my ribs. Something like panic formed an icy ball in my stomach and threatened to take my legs away from me. Fear, almost pure terror, was trying to grab hold and pull me under. I had not felt this way in a lifetime; not even when facing down bandits, bears, or dragons.

“I feel the same.”

Nothing changed. The moonlight casting deep shadow and silver highlights that accented the planes and curves of her body didn't brighten or fade. The air didn't suddenly become warmer. The sky didn't fall. Everything was the same. We lay there in the tall grass, contented with full bellies after sharing the hunt and the kill. But for a long moment it still felt as if the earth had fallen out from under me, as though it were all unreal while the fear receded.

Then I dared to move closer to her, and she invited me forward with a look and an out swept arm that exposed the length of her side. I laid against her, pillowing my head in the crook of her shoulder. Her arm returned and held me close. My voice, something I could use as a weapon potent enough to fell dragons from the sky, was almost a timid whisper in the face of the maelstrom of emotion that had been churned up in place of my fear.

“I couldn't tell you exactly when; but it wasn't long after I came to Jorrvasker that you captured my heart.”

Her hand brushed errant strands of hair from my face.

“I fell for you on first sight.”

That took me by surprise. Though after a moment's thought I realized that perhaps it shouldn't have. Aela was nothing if not primal and passionate. Her instincts were always spot on, and she followed their guidance with a fierce intensity I had almost never seen in anyone, ever. But, my coming to Jorrvasker had been months ago; and I'd never known her to balk at expressing how she felt about something, or someone. So why?

“Why didn't you say anything?”

She sighed, and it felt like she was collecting her thoughts, so I stayed quiet until she spoke. When she did, it was with her teacher's voice, the one she used when explaining something. I knew it well from her archery lessons.

“Because, the only instinct I don't always trust is when my heart tells me to love. So I stifled myself, and watched my new shield sister. I saw her grow from a wet behind the ears whelp to Harbinger. She told tales of battles fought, worthy prey, and adventures had. She sang praise of her shield siblings when they earned it, and quietly counselled them when they might be walking astray. She shared her hard won knowledge of the battlefield, but never boasted of anything she couldn't do. Yet in all of that, she never spoke of friends, nor family, nor of anything she had done before she came to Skyrim. I wondered if she had something to hide, some dark secret she was trying to bury or atone for. But when I looked in her eyes while others hoisted drink and praise to those they happily shared their blood with, I saw only loss and longing. My shield sister that I loved, that knew no fear in battle, carried a wounded heart. I saw her guard that heart as walls around a city, and I knew no one would ever surmount them if she did not wish them to. So I kept my feelings to myself, and hoped one day she would, perhaps, let me in.”

“Heh. Then one day she let you turn her into a werewolf.”

“Aye. That she did. I take no small amount of pride in that you know. If I could, I'd tell the whole of Tamriel I was the one who turned the Dhovakin.”

“Laying claim to me now? We aren't even married.”

She snorted. I could feel the derision in it.

“Married? Pfah! You think people like us need a ceremony or the approval of others to tell us what our hearts now know? Have we not forged a bond in battle and life?”

“No, no we don't.”

I turned then, to look her in the eyes and continue.

“I'd have you forever, if you'd be with me.”

That crooked smile again. The one that always makes my heart flutter.

“Always and Forever. There is one thing though, that I require.”

There was mischief in her eyes when she said that last part. I couldn't help but play the straight man though.

“Oh? And what would that be?”

She turned me over, put herself astride my hips and gave me a look of hunger I had never seen before on her face.

“A consummation of the relationship.”