/Advanced: Monster Hunter!/'s Short Greentexts (Part 3)


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An ongoing collection of the multitude of bite-sized shorts that creative anons have posted throughout the years. Some of these works have made the rounds in the form of screencaps, but are still included for the sake of consistency. Not exhaustive in the slightest.

>Why are there multiple bins?

Rentry has a 200k character limit.


Quoted text = context

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MONSTER



Diablos

=============================================

>Oh don't mind my new color, hunter. It just means I've gone into heat.
>Of course I haven't become some violent sex-crazed beast, silly! Itches can be ignored with enough practice!
>We can still hang out, right?

>what she means by "hang out"

>But it's not enough.
>You're not a Diablos so you can't truly quell her heat.
>A momentary flood of endorphins that bring relief and a few hours of peace before her body revolts and demands impregnation. That's all she gets.
>The next time you return, she grabs you and takes you back to your lair.
>With many an imploring groan she explains her predicament and that she needs her dear friend to extend his kindness to her. She needs... more.
>And more.
>And more...
>The only reason she begins to look brown is because you've had her rolling around in the sand so much.
>Energy drink after energy drink after energy drink, she continually drains you until the hours start to blend together in a hazy blur of passion and desire.
>The only times the two of you pause are to grab another well-done steak and pass her some of the cacti you picked up to drain them for juice.
>Doesn't stop her inching closer and closer to you until she's finished eating and moaning your name into your mouth as you toss the bone aside.
>She apologises over and over for tricking you before the apologies fade away to be replaced by her faltering voice admitting you were the first person she thought of to help her.
>The night comes with her holding you tight and asking you not to go.
>She needs you.


Gore Magala

=============================================

-Gore Magala has entered the Forest locale-
-Affinity: 50%-
>thanks for coming to hang out with me today Anon, i know lugging around all that protective gear is rough.
>i've been practicing keeping my frenzy as low as possible, i dont mind walking around more blind than usual.
>its just nice to just have someone to take in some fresh air with, the village herbalist says its good therapy for me.
>and if i can keep this pace, the Head Researcher might let me hang out in the village again!
>O-oh! i'm so sorry! i've been rambling! here, let me carry some of that gear for you!

[Item Pack Removed] [Camp Supplies Removed]
>wow, this stuff weighs a ton! even for me! how do you hunters manage to carry all this stuff all day?
>anyway, would you like to hang out or set up camp for the day?
>if you want, I have some cool spots i could show you down by the river, i'm sure i can get there without hitting too many trees again
>or we could just take a break for the day, you're probably worn out traveling this far.

OPTIONS
[A] Set up camp in the clearing right outside the forest [Supplies -1]
Follow the River path deeper into the jungle [Advances Time]
[C] Suggest the dirt trail to the camping grounds in the fields instead [Leaves area]
[D] Rest for a moment and hang out with the Monster [+Affinity]
[E] Request your gear back and abandon quest [Ends CYOA]

If we set up camp now, we'll have plenty of time to hang out later instead of lugging it around. Choose [A], then let's go down to the River for a swim!

-[You take the camping supplies into a flat clearing and quickly set up the large tent and a box for storage]
-[Gore tried to help but their big wing-claws are not dexterous enough to handle tiny human tools]
-[you realized this when you asked them to hammer a stake in the ground for you and they slammed it down so hard it made a small crater..]
>"a..aha..sorry, monsters don't really use tools.."
[you notice Gore is panting slightly, the humidity must be hard on them for someone covered in jet black scales]
[you mention that you'd like to cool off by the lake now]
>"oh man that sounds great, its a scorcher out there today"
>"i can smell the water from here! follow me!"

[they rush off, tearing through lose trees and brush like it was sticks and pebbles]
[must be easy to forget that they're a juggernaut covered in scales harder than stone]
[following the trail of destruction you arrive at the lake bed, its shimmering clear waters are most inviting]
[you cup your hands and take a sip from the crisp clear waters]
[while Gore opens their mouth wide and shoves their head deep below the waters surface, drinking deep, when they surface you notice that they have a shard of seaweed stuck to their head]
>"PUUAAHH, i needed that! nothing tastes better than fresh water"
>"well, maybe not just fresh water, i could really go for some meat too, its almost time for the lunch hunt."
>"what about you? what do hunters eat?"
>"i've heard hunters can eat almost anything, like Deviljho but without all the angry."

[you feel like you could go for a bite yourself]

OPTIONS
[A] Disrobe and dive in the lake to catch some fish, like your ancestors did [+Affinity +Fish]
Tease Gore about the seaweed stuck to their head [Friendship Skill get]
[C] Chew some quick and easy rations for a snack [Time Saver]
[D] Get out the grill, crack a cold one and wait for Gore to return with meat [Grillmaster Skill get]
[E] Sensually suggest "eating out" Gore instead [Affinity UP chance ++]

Can Gore see underwater? Maybe they've never tried fresh fish before. Let's do [A] and break out the Grill!

["you can go on ahead Gore, i'm going to catch us some fish"]
>"Okay!, i'll find a big juicy one for both of us!"
[they lower their body to the ground and sneak off into the forest so fast that you can only catch a glimpse of their shadowy miasma trail as they disappear]
[you turn your attention to the lakes edge, the still waters lull you into a trance, years of living on the coast has trained your body's muscle memory to superhuman levels]
[you cast away your underarmor, boots and pants, letting the soft winds of nature kiss your toned form as you dive headfirst into the lake.]
[a few moments underneath the waters and you surface once again with a mighty warcry, Great Speartuna in hand]
[as you drag your bounty to shore, the hair on the back of your neck picks up birds scattering and a great disturbance deeper into the forest]
["Looks like Gore found their meal.."]
[you tie your shorts back on and begin dressing the fish, the blade of your billhook knife glides like your cutting through air as you strip and season the carcass over a fiery grill, toasting it until it peak crispyness]
>"i'm baaaack" Gore cheers. "i found a big one that actually put up a fight this time!"
[they emerge from the brush, a large dead Aptinoth clutched tightly in their bloody wing-claws]
[they stop suddenly, furiously sniffing the air]
>"wha-sniff what is that?! what smells so good?!"
>"it smells like..like fish, but way better!"

[they drop the aptinoth with a thud and rush over to your fish, you put your hands firmly on their snout, barely able to hold back the drooling beast]
["its just a fish i grilled, they smell and taste better this way"]
>"does it work with meat?! please tell me it works with meat! i want tasty meat!" they squeal with excitement
["okay, okay calm down, i'll grill yours up too" you chuckle]
[after offering a small apology to the herbivore you work your magic again, cutting and placing the large slabs of beef over a tiny grill]
[You can tell Gore is getting impatient as their drooling intensifies, their foreclaws tapping on the ground, tail furiously wagging]
>"is it done yet, is it done yet?!" they sputter
["just about, here i'll throw some fish on there for you too if you behave"]
[you set down a big plate of food in front of them and you feel like you almost would have lost a finger with how quickly they dig into the pile]
["must've worked up an appetite doing all that hunting"]
[they mutter something in agreement but its hard to make out what they're saying nose deep in food]
["I'll take that as a yes"]
[as you both finish your meals, you decide its time to lie back and relax as the sun starts to set]
[Gore lays down and stretches, licking their claws and chops]
>"oh man that was good! thanks for hanging out with me again by the way, it means a lot"
["yeah same, too bad we made camp so far away though"]
>"nah, its okay, here, let me pay you back."
[they unfurl one of their massive wings, inviting you to some shelter. its remarkable that normally something that would be covered in dark frenzy dust now displays a bunch of shiny, clean looking iridescent scales]
>"i managed to take down that aptinoth earlier without relying on my frenzy at all ya know, i want to prove to everyone that i can survive outside the Frenzy's influence."
>"i remember the chief wyverian warning me long ago that the Frenzy is like a wildfire that follows me, that its an absolute barrier that harms both friend and foe, and giving into the frenzy is to embody suffering itself"
>"I've thought about it a lot and how with friends like you that stay by me, if i can master it then i wont have to be alone.

[they lay the side of their head against your chest, the sharp spikes poke you a little]
>"besides, the Khezu life isn't so bad, I'm super used to it already."
[you both let out a chuckle and you run your hand upon their forehead scales]
>"Goodnight, good hunter"
["Goodnight"]

END PART 1


Izuchi

=============================================

>I want to pay the troll toll to get into that Izuchi's hole...

>Where is he?
>The wheels of your cart trundle and squeak as you pull it along over the uneven ground.
>It still seemed a poor enough idea for this whole affair, honestly.
>But Magistrate Tama was insistent that your quarry would be here and would be ready to strike a helpless merchant travelling the quiet old road through the Shrine Ruins.
>So here you are, in some old robes, pulling an old cart with old vegetables laden in it, grunting as the old wooden wheel catches on another stone.
>Setting it down, you take a look about yourself at the cliffs that line the passage the road winds through.
>You don't like it; far worse than your quarry could come flying down on either side. Or both.
>And you without any weapons... It wouldn't do to alert the one you hunt, you're here to gather evidence so Magistrate Tama can send the proper authorities around to handle this.
>Still bothers you that it's not being left with the Guild but then again, you also have as little love for tackling intelligent monsters.
>Whatever the case, you head around to the side of the cart and investigate.
>You pull your hat from your head and fan your face as you walk; the heat and humidity today was nearly unbearable and without your usual armour, sculpted as much for comfort as protection, you find yourself wishing for a cool drink.
>But you can only make yourself an easy-looking target for so long before you have to attend to your work.
>The wheel is indeed lodged between one stone and next to another but worse still, there's a piece of the wood taken out of it.
>You cluck your tongue - shouldn't have tried to pull it over the stone so hard.
>The cart isn't yours, it does belong to an actual merchant, one who's had a run in with this fiend in the past.
>Tama's going to give you an earful about the court's coffers having to reimburse the merchant for this but it was his own idea.
>Well, you suggested luring out the bandit but Tama came up with the specific idea of you posing as a merchant.
>And now you really are helpless.
>You can either leave the cart here and incur the wrath of both Tama and the merchant, or you can chance going along with it slower and risk running into something worse from taking so long.
>"Keeeeekekeke!"
>The sound of shrill laughter cuts through the air just as much as the whistle of a blade does.
>With a 'thunk', the Great Izuchi embeds his tail a mere few feet from you and almost as quickly, a pair of Izuchi land either side of him.
>He's tall and lithe but you can see how muscular his form is, how strong he is.
>"Another weak human!"
>Funny. That voice is higher than you would've thought, especially for a bandit who'd want to appear intimidating.
>Although he does have the black bandana gathered about his neck with a pattern that must be his gang's insignia on it.
>Something else catches your eye, however.
>On his toes are a number of gold rings and streaks of gold paint carve out patterns on the claws.
>"Izen will be pleased~"
>He says, advancing upon you.
>"Weak human! Weak human! Fneheheh!
>"Zenny! Give us your zenny!"
>The smaller Izuchi have their own black bandanas and are keen to back up their superior. Such is the way with them, you know.
>Right now, however, you have to slump back against your cart and look like you're about ready to piss yourself.

"Please!" you cry out, lifting a hand pathetically. "D-Don't hurt me!"
>The Great Izuchi trails his tail along the ground, letting the sharp, scaly end of it rasp noisily against the stone and dirt.
>"You pay toll like good little human, we won't hurt you."
>He lets out a hiss and throws an arm forward before cocking a wicked claw at you.
>And you fumble about in your robes, doing your best to look at him without looking like you're looking at him.
>He's coloured the large tufts over his eyes black to match the scales just below them but aside from that and his jewellery and voice, he seems like just another Great Izuchi.

"H-Here..."
>You haltingly pull out a string of zenny and toss it over at the bandit.
>He catches the loop with a claw and brings it up to his head, tapping at the coins with another claw to count them.
>The two smaller Izuchi sneer at you and one approaches your cart.
>"Maybe we take more!"
>His fellow hisses at him.
>"Boss says no hurt humans."
>The first looks at the Great Izuchi and then to you, with a keen, sadistic glint in his eye.
>"Maybe silly human hiding more zenny?"
>With a chirp, the second Izuchi hops over to the first and swats him with a claw.
>"Check cart! No hurt human!"
>He gets a hiss in response. How did this lot manage to rob half the merchants between Kamura and Yukumo if they're this incompetent?
>You watch, making sure to cringe back as they approach, as the two begin to tug and scratch at the cloth covering on the cart.
>They can probably smell the veg under it because one starts to sniff loudly before tearing the cloth away.
>"Food!" he cries. "Smells bad."
>"Human try to make us sick!"
>That's the first one again, his voice is scratchier than the second's.
>"We make him sick!"
>That... is not good.
>Worse comes to worst, you can run but you don't so much as have your utility knife.
>If Kenta was here with you, you could ride him to safety but considering hunters are the only people who make use of palamutes, that'd tip off the bandits as surely as your weapons would.
>Your muscles start to tense up as the two Izuchi turn their attention to you.
>"Bah! Weak, poor human!"
>That's the Great Izuchi.
>You and the two Izuchi look to him, and you just in time to see him toss the string of zenny back at you which you narrowly miss catching.
>"This is all you have? Not worth the trouble to catch!"
>"Boss Kanna! Boss Kanna!"
>The first Izuchi comes bouncing over to his superior.
>"Human have food to make us sick!"
>Kanna? That doesn't sound like a male name...
>Which must mean...
>With a growl, the Great Izuchi gives her underling a swipe of his claw.
>"Not to make us sick! This is poor trader with little zenny. Cannot afford better food, yes?"
>That last is addressed to you.
>What's worse is the sickly grin she says it with. Bandits did have a habit of being petty, right?

"Y-Yes! But the people of Kamura pay well for it!"
>The bandit cocks her head to one side suddenly.
>"Ka-mu-ra..." She enunciates the name before scowling deeply. "Town of hunters and dogs and cats."
>Those yellow eyes come to rest on you, piercing through you.
>It's been a long time since you've been a novice hunter but being at even a bird wyvern's mercy like this is unsettling.
>"But they buy-" She sniffs at the air and grimaces. "Poor food? You are good trader." She brings her bladed tail around and pokes it towards the string of zenny still sitting on your stomach. "Why so poor?"
>Because Tama didn't want to spare even more zenny for this operation and warned you against using your own, in case a big payout would just embolden the bandits before he could send his marshals after them.
>Your tongue flicks out over your lips and it's not entirely for show.

"I, uh," you mutter, your mind running through excuses, "was... robbed. Other bandits. Near Yukumo."
>It's a shit excuse but maybe it'll work?
>The Great Izuchi regards you with an appraising eye, however, and her tail sits pointed at you.
>"Fneheheh! Human poor /and/ stupid? Maybe we eat him instead!"
>Whoosh-thunk!
>The Great Izuchi's tailblade slices through the air barely an inch from his subordinate's snout and cleaves deep into the earth.
>"We do not eat our prey!" She glares at him so intently that he cringes back from her, holding his tail in his claws. "No prey, no zenny! No zenny..." she trails off menacingly, making the threat clear from wrenching her tail from the ground and waving it before him.
>"Y-Yes, boss!"
>The second Izuchi lets out a hissing giggle but the first is too occupied by the bandit's glare.
>At least, until she turns it back on you.
>Peering down at you, she blows out a sudden breath through her nose.
>"You come with us, we find other payment."
>Shit.
>You can just see the delight in Tama's eyes at the prospect of getting information about the location of the bandits' camp and their numbers, as well as what ill-gotten gains they currently have.
>But right now, all you want to do is make a break for it and get back to him with the information you have - 'Izen' and 'Boss Kanna', two names that're sure to be valuable in the investigation.
>And this 'boss' is apparently a female Great Izuchi, which isn't something you were told about.
>"Up."
>The Great Izuchi—you should probably start thinking of her as Kanna, as one of the Izuchi called her—gestures with her tail to stand and you do so on legs that feel like they might either give out or start sprinting of their own accord.
>"You."
>She points his tail towards the second Izuchi without taking her eyes off you.
>"Cut cloth for human's eyes and hands. Can't show him the way to hideout."
>Double shit.
>If you do need to make a run for it, you may have no idea of how to get back to Kamura.
>Maybe you can play a bit more into the frightened merchant bit to get out of this.

"P-Please, I don't have anything else! And they're expecting-"
>With a sharp whoosh, Kanna brings her tailblade back before you.
>"Quiet! You are first human in a while on this road. I will not go back to hideout without zenny or something of worth."
>You hear fabric being torn as well as hissing laughter before a large strip of cloth comes over your eyes and obscures your vision.
>It's followed shortly by the skin of your arms being pricked by claws as they're roughly drawn together and your hands are bound at the wrists.
>"Satori! You bring human!"
>Even as Kanna barks the order, the presumable owner of the name lets out a discontented growl.
>"But-"
>She continues over him, slightly louder.
>"Ichi watch you and make sure you not eat human!"
>"Yes, Boss Kanna!"
>He sounds entirely too enthused about that and it does nothing to calm your nerves.
>You're brought up to your feet, roughly, and then pushed along by a pair of claws at your back.
>That must be Satori, the Izuchi that you... hope was just joking about eating you earlier.
>Your steps are slow, even with his grunting and prodding and verbal demands for you to hurry.
>You can't see where you're going, after all, and every stone you feel under your foot makes you think you're about to trip.
>Without being able to see where it is, the mental image of falling and impaling yourself on Kanna's tailblade keeps coming to mind.
>Wouldn't that be a way to return to Tama? The valiant hunter undone by his own clumsiness.
>Even so, you can occasionally feel Satori poke you with his tail, followed by a gleeful demand that you hurry up and more hissing laughter.
>Apart from some minor stumbling, however, the way is uneventful if long. You're still not sure exactly how far off the path you've gone, however.
>There's so many turns that you struggle to keep a mental note of where you're headed and you've little doubt it's done purposely to confuse you.
>Sweat clings to your body by the time you hear voices and your worry about an inopportune death is replaced by annoyance at the humidity and heat, once more. If these were regular Izuchi, you might just be able to run and exploit their pack-hunting tactics to lose them.
>But they're not.
>These are intelligent monsters and the Guild didn't hunt them not just because of ethical concerns, but because such monsters would be too intelligent to be hunted in that way.
>You'll have to play things smart and slow if you want to get out of this one alive.
>The voices grow in number and volume, mixed in with squeaks and growls.
>There's banging, of wood on wood, clinking of metallic items, and you can just about make out some words about 'a human'.
>Clearly this isn't a common occurrence.
>You try to count the steps you take through this camp but with the voices and enough of the words reaching you, there's just enough distractions that you can't keep it in mind.
>"Here," Kanna calls out ahead of you.
>There's silence for a moment as you continue walking along.
>"But... Boss Kanna, that's..."
>That sounds like Satori, with the more nasally voice.
>"Can't let the human see hideout, might figure out where we are."
>Smart. Smarter than you'd been giving her credit for, frankly.
>The voices continue their cacophony as you're led through the bandit camp until you come to a stop. You can pick out certain smells, of cooking meats and vegetables, what might be ink, and if you didn't know any better you'd think your nose was picking up the slightly piquant scent of perfume.
>"In here."
>You're roughly shoved forward and your heart leaps into your mouth as you stumble and fall... landing on something very soft with a muted thump.
>If this is where they keep prisoners, they must be treated unusually well.
>"Kekeke! You have not earned that yet, human!"
>Kanna's relatively high voice calls out those words in a sing-song tone and you're not sure whether to feel relieved or more worried that her annoyance at her underlings has momentarily abated. Bandits weren't exactly known for their... stability. At least from all the tales you've heard.
>The sounds from outside wherever and whatever this is are muted now, and you look about pointlessly. The fabric over your eyes is thick enough that you still can't see a thing through it. It was meant to keep water off whatever goods were in the cart, after all.
>You turn your body about on whatever you're lying on, hoping to better hear anything said by the bandits.
>And because there's still that primal part of you that wants to face your attacker, even if you can't see.
>"You two go. Izen will come later."
>Silence. You tilt your head forward.
>"Well?"
>"Maybe we stay? Guard human for you?"
>That's Ichi, with the slightly deeper voice.
>"You think I cannot best one human, Ichi?"
>"N-No, Boss Kanna!"
>"Hrrr, then go! Get food from Yurin then wait for Izen!"
>Two pairs of scaled and clawed feet scrabble about on the ground before you hear them depart.
>Leaving you alone with Kanna.
>"Now, human."
>You hear her getting closer, can feel her presence approach you and the weight of her gaze upon you.
>What's surprising, however, is how she removes your blindfold. Kanna is careful not to dig her claws into you but rather she curls them around the fabric and lifts it off your head without so much as scratching you.
>You're still slow to open your eyes, just in case she has her claws close to them still.
>"We talk about how you pay."
>In spite of her gentle tone and gentle handling of the blindfold, she's much rougher in grabbing you and lifting you back to your feet.
>You try to take in your surroundings quickly - you're inside some kind of tent, similar to the ones the Guild uses in the Kamura-governed regions. The Izuchi bandits must have looted one in the past, or maybe something like it.
>The material it's made of is too thick to permit sight of even the outline of what's outside and the heavy flaps that form the entrance sit closed together.
>There's shelves with various items, bowls, bottles, wooden and metal boxes. As well as a few lanterns providing a low amount of light within the tent, though still enough that you can clearly make out your surroundings.
>And taking up the lion's share of the tent are two heaps of multi-coloured cushions on either side.
>You must have been thrown onto one and you feel a momentary sense of gladness for Satoshi for not simply throwing you to the ground to risk breaking your nose or worse.
>But Kanna now rests on one of the piles, on her side with the blade on the end of her tail flicking idly.
>"Hrrr, no zenny to pay with. No food to pay with." The tailblade lifts and points over at you. "Clothes too simple to sell for much."
>The black crests over her eyes rise and a worrying smile tugs her lips back.
>"You not need simple clothes. Take them off."
>Your muscles tense up again; is she going to exact her payment in blood?
>You've no idea where you are or how large this camp is, how many other Izuchi are in it. Would bolting even do any good?

"Why, uh, why do I need to?"
>Stall. However and for how long you can.
>Kanna tilts her tailblade from side to side.
>"No zenny, no food, no goods. All you have is you."
>She jabs her tailblade at you again.
>"All humans must pay toll. Some way."
>Satori laughed at eating you.

"Humans taste bad."
>"Keeeekekekeke! Never tasted! Maybe I want to."
>Her tailblade snakes forward and nicks at the cinched belt around your waist neatly before following up by slicing through the bindings on your wrists. It's starting to unnerve you how deftly Kanna commands that part of her anatomy.
>In fact, you're so stunned by just how quick and precise her movements are that you don't move yourself out of the way before she's done.
>The belt is what's been holding your pants up and your jacket closed and now that it's suddenly been cut, your jacket opens and your pants feel decidedly looser than you'd like.
>Even more with the hunger in Kanna's eyes.
>You've heard of intelligent monsters and humans that get together, it wasn't all that common especially in the Guild. It prided itself on working with them and for them, treating them like they would any other intelligent species like wyverians or lynians.
>So that hunger in Kanna's eyes? It makes you shudder in recognition of having seen it before.
>"Clothes off," she says simply, gesturing from your chest to your feet with her tailblade.
>You take full stock of just how Kanna lies upon the cushions. She's turned to one side, stretched out, with one of the long claws on her forelimbs neatly curled under her chin, propping it up.
>As she eyes you with a grin, the claws on her toes slowly curl and uncurl; they go together with the look in her eyes all too well.
>Her chest rises and falls languidly, just as relaxed as the rest of her body is, and she looks almost like a queen seated upon her throne looking down at some supplicant before her. Or a bandit queen, maybe, with fresh meat having being brought into her court for her to do with as she pleases.
>"Silly human..." Kanna mutters, using her tailblade to gently push your jacket over your shoulders.

"W-Wait!"
>With a sickening slowness, Kanna brings her tailblade up along your chest to your neck but keeps the blunted rear of it against your skin as she brings it up so high that it almost touches your chin.
>"No wait. Izen will come and will want to know if payment is good."
>With your jacket pushed off from your shoulders enough, Kanna only has to give it a little push more with her tail before it falls behind you. The sound of ripping fabric fills the tend as she turns the sharp side of her tailblade on your shirt and you can't help but wince at how you almost-but-not-quite feel the cool, scaly tip against the skin of your chest.
>"Hrrrr... Better trader than others."
>She must really enjoy using that part of herself because she brings the blunt side back up over your smooth skin. It slides between your pectorals and then back down onto your abdomen and across your stomach.
>Kanna's eyes follow the movement of her tail and then start to move over the rest of your upper body. The way she looks at you is... like a wyvern who's gone far too long without water and has just collapsed before a beautiful blue desert oasis.
>Probably why her tongue slides out of her mouth and then over her lips.
>"Now..."
>That wicked blade comes back down and almost, almost pricks your skin as she hooks it into the waist of your trousers. You can't help but stand stock still, sweat starting to bead at your brow at the thought of just what she could do to you.
>"Clothes. Off."
>There is no way you're going to try and stall or excuse yourself or do anything that isn't following her order precisely. You now have the distinct impression that this is a Great Izuchi that is not accustomed to not getting her way and with her tail where it is, you're not eager to be the one to deliver a lesson in temperance.
>Your hands work almost feverishly, sliding your trousers down before you hit your boots and have to start slipping them off first.
>Kanna, clearly enjoying the sight of your slipping composure, lets out a growling laugh.
>Boots gone and hastily thrown to one side, you make short work of sliding your pants the rest of the way down...
>The moment you do so, however, you cover yourself with your hands and stand there, now naked, before your captor. It's an uncomfortable feeling, almost more so than when she had her tail in your pants.
>But the worst has yet to come and come it indeed does when Kanna slides the rear of her tailblade up to your hands, gently prompting you to remove them. Your eyes squint shut as you do so, eager not to see what might transpire should she find what's there not to her liking.
>"Hrrr!" she growls. "Traders always hide their best!"
>The cool sensation of her scaly tailblade doesn't return to your skin. At least not to that sensitive, vulnerable part of your body.
>Instead, the next time you feel it, it's the very tip of it tapping at your lower back. It's not enough to break the skin but you quickly get the hint and take a step forward.
>"Human," Kanna says, "open your eyes."
>You do.
>And lying before you is Kanna, now on her back with her legs spread wide and her tail extended around behind you. Her legs, lifted, now draw your attention as you can clearly see the golden rings on her toes shining in the low light of the lanterns.
>But what's surprising isn't the filthy, perverted grin that's pulling her lips back. It's not her squinted eyes that firmly meet your own and with a far more intense gaze. It's not even how her toes twitch and flex, curling and uncurling faster than they were earlier.
>It's that one of her forelimbs is down below her abdomen.
>"You will pay the toll."
>Cool scales slide up your back but it isn't the sharp tip that touches your shoulder but the blunt rear that gently pushes you down.
>Your breathing starts to quicken as your mind picks up on exactly what Kanna is getting at. Especially with the way one of her digits tugs at one of the large plates on her abdomen to reveal a slit.
>"Yesss!" she hisses. "You pay with you~"
>The tail on your shoulder forces you down onto your knees and closer between Kanna's legs. One of her legs bends and the claws at the end of it touch against your side, almost feeling like she's holding you in place.
>"But remember..."
>Coolness slides down your back but more than that, you feel something far too sharp grazing against your skin. It makes you shiver and your stomach roil.
>"I feel teeth? You feel tail."
>You swallow thickly.

"I-I understand."
>"Hrrr. Good."
>The claws below her abdomen twitch and then gently spread, revealing delicate pink skin within the slit she pulls at, as well as a distinct scent that almost smells familiar but is just off enough that you have to assume it's either unique to Kanna or Great Izuchis.
>"I need... large payment, human."
>Yes, you were absolutely right about your suspicions of where this was headed.
>But it could've been worse, couldn't it? Could've wound up as a meal or worse.
>If a little... performance is what gets you out of this alive and back to Tama to see justice done to these bandits, wouldn't it still be a bargain?
>"Well?" Kanna pats your back with the blunted edge of her tailblade. "Do you... kekeke, do you not know what to do with females, human?"
>It should sting your pride but mostly you're just eager to show her that no, she doesn't need to risk losing her patience.

"Fine."
>Without really thinking about it, your hands come up to Kanna's thighs. It's just what you're used to, getting some support from your lover as well as providing a little closeness of your own.
>Her scales are cool, though not quite so much as those on her tailblade. More pleasant is the fur just a little further up on her thigh, velvety soft and almost warm under your touch.
>Kanna's muscles tense at you touching her but it doesn't last. After all, she does have her tailblade in just the right position to do terrible things to you should you try anything, and she knows it.
>Your hands slide over the scales and fur until they pass over her forelimbs. The scales there are harder, like those on her tail, and just as cool.
>"What are you..."

"Here, let me..."
>Under other circumstances, you might try to hold them but this almost feels like trying to exert what little control over the scenario you can. You take over from Kanna in gently holding the edges of her slit apart and she quickly catches on, lifting her forelimbs to rest them against her thighs.
>And through it all, you can just about see how her eyes carefully watch you. Still that edge to these proceedings, even if it's clear from the glistening moisture between your hands that she does want this.
>Maybe it's just business for her, the chance to feel something softer and more flexible than some claws in such a sensitive place. After all, it’s not like you were thrilled at her poking about between your legs.
>That might be the best thing to start off with, if only to get a sense of what might feel good for her. You trace a finger along the edge of her slit, each time moving a little closer to that pink flesh.
>Your reward is a sharp hiss, the moment you touch it. That and the sensation of something that doesn’t feel cool to the touch; quite the opposite, in fact, Kanna feels surprisingly warm here.
>”Tease.”
>It’s not a question, or at least doesn’t sound like one. It’s doubtful she wants you to drag this out unnecessarily but you’re not accustomed to just rushing right into things, either. Besides, the better a performance you give, the less likely she is to want to dispose of you.
>You bring your face in closer and the scent of her intensifies, moisture glistening on the tender pink flesh.
>It’s not that dissimilar to a human’s but the proportions are larger and you can’t quite see… Maybe if you draw your finger upwards and apply just the barest pressure-
>”Hah-sssss!”
>That hiss is matched with a sudden clenching of her leg muscles and for a moment you have the horrible, sickening thought of her raking her claws over your back.
>”Gentle, human!”
>Sensitive, then. You’ll need to work up to that.
>Lifting your finger away, you place it further down, enough that Kanna merely hums approvingly at the touch though she still watches you.
>It’s kind of unnerving, actually. Never expected your first time with a monster to be under such circumstances.

“Just relax,” you mutter, bringing your lips over to her thigh.
>Don’t need her getting any ideas before you can plant a kiss there
>The fur on the upper half of her inner thigh tickles your nose but Kanna smirks and you can feel her thigh twitch.
>”Yesss,” she hisses, “submit, human.”
>Bad enough having to play the coward earlier, now you have to suffer this indignity?
>Then again, she still has her tailblade at your back…
>So another kiss, a little further in along her thigh. It lacks the slightly salty taste of human skin, instead having a slight taste of dust or sand. Whatever’s been in her scales. And a lingering hint of what may be the remnant of arousal from another time.
>Your finger strokes back up along her smooth pink flesh as you plant another kiss on Kanna’s thigh, then back down as you move in closer.
>Her expression looks less like she’s trying to intimidate you and more like she’s beginning to enjoy this earnestly; her mouth is open slightly and her tongue pokes out from between the front of her lips.
>Close to where your hand is now, your lips linger a little longer on her scales with each kiss.
>The scent is undeniably one of her arousal at this point. One of her forelimbs lifts from her thigh and comes to rest on the back of your head.
>”More…” she whispers, guiding you with surprising gentleness further in.
>Your next kiss is right on the edge, where you have her slit pulled back and where the scale ends.
>Kanna’s eyes drift shut and she sighs and you can see her body start to relax and feel it where you have your hands.
>Another kiss, just a bit lower down but still on that border and the Great Izuchi’s digits grip your head a measure tighter. Not enough for the sharp claws to dig into the skin but enough to let you know that it would be unwise to stop.
>Kiss. Kiss. Kiss…
>You work your way down and find some of that wetness on your lips, your tongue instinctively flicking out to lap it up. Musky and more potent than a human woman’s, it has a familiar salty tang to it.
>Not that you’re given that long to get a feel for its flavour as Kanna’s claws direct you back to kiss again. And again.
>You work your way back up and by now, there’s little shivers from her thighs palpable where you have your hands and every so often, a contraction that threatens to break her free of your grasp.
>”Human…”
>It’s silly how it bothers you that she doesn’t know your name and didn’t ask for it. Even in spite of how she moans out that word and what it says about your efforts.
>Your kisses are slower now, partly in reply to that and partly because you’re still unsure if this has worked her up enough. As you edge your way closer to that sensitive spot, Kanna tenses up more and more and she starts letting out little grunts.
>You’ve never heard a monster like this make sounds like that. It’s… not unpleasant.
>Forgoing a kiss, you drag your tongue against the border between the sandy scales and her pinkness until, with a little flick that makes Kanna gasp, you come away. Her claws are barely holding onto your head anyway.
>”Nuh… tease!”
>She hisses the word out with a mix of frustration and desire.
>The hunger that’s been smouldering in those yellow eyes is ignited and now burns tenfold.
>”Human… hrrr, speaks well to village for trade.” You can see the effort with which she speaks and focuses on doing so. She squirms lightly, clearly unable to suppress her need. “Show Kanna… how you use tongue for… more than talk,” she says with a surprising degree of seductiveness in her tone. It’s still weird coming from a Great Izuchi but focusing on those eyes, you think you’re now starting to see what those who bed monsters see.
>When you lean back in, it’s almost having forgotten that blade at your back.
>After all, she did give you little time to truly appreciate her taste; your tongue eagerly slips forward as you place your lips directly between your hands holding Kanna open.
>Your reward is a shrill intake of breath on her part, though you’re too close to be able to look up to see whatever expression she holds.
>That and more of her taste, which now fills your mouth and makes it water.
>And makes another part of you wet with a different sort of desire.
>In spite of the circumstances and how this is all for her benefit and enjoyment, you still feel yourself throbbing insistently. The contrast of her cool scales and warm flesh does little to suppress that desire on your own part and a sudden mental image of Kanna’s legs wrapped around you with her forelimbs holding your head close to her chest makes you suck ever so slightly on her.
>”Eeeee!”
>That does make her claws dig just a little into your head but you can’t bring yourself to care right now.
>”Hu-man!” she gasps.
>Her legs clench around you at the unexpected sensation; were Izuchi lips capable of replicating this? Not so, it seems.
>But you don’t want to overstimulate her, no longer sucking and instead starting to draw your tongue over her, upwards.
>Kanna gulps down breath and her forelimb slides around over your head, making sure you cannot pull back and away from her.
>”Yessss!”
>You inch ever closer to that little spot, that nub of flesh that’s like and unlike a human’s but with every stroke of your tongue over her, makes Kanna whine louder and louder.
>Your thumbs swipe down and almost slip over how slick the scales down there are with how much she’s begun to leak. Kanna humps against your face.
>”Eeee! Eeee~!”
>She shifts and fidgets about on her cushions and you can just about sense her kicking her legs. You can only imagine how her toes are curling and flexing.
>Nearly there, all you have to do is move your tongue up just a little bit and you’ll hit that spot you’re sure is going to give your captor exactly what she-
>”Boss Kanna!”
>A voice calls out from behind you.
>A familiar, nasally one.
>You don’t need to look to guess who it is and even if it’s not him, you internally wince at what this might mean.
>Kanna with your head shoved between her thighs and her… in whatever extraordinarily compromising contortions her body has been left in.
>”Hunh… nuh… Sa-... tori?”
>There’s an ever so slight pause before you hear a reply. Kanna still has her forelimb on your head. She’s been pressing you against herself quite firmly.
>”We heard screams, we come to see!”
>Even before he’s finished, you can feel as much as hear the growl rising in Kanna.
>”Human try to eat you! We eat him in-”
>”OUT!” Kanna shrieks.
>Her whole body heaves and you hear a soft thump before skittering claws against the ground.
>Is she going to have to explain this or will her underlings know better to inquire? If Satori lacks the sense to keep what he’s seen to himself.
>Whatever the case, for a few moments more, Kanna just lies on her bed of cushions and pants.
>Your lips aren’t quite touching her but she’s still keeping you close. You’re not about to resume your ministrations until she gives you some sign, though.
>”Human,” she snorts, “no more wait.”
>Her claws grip you tight enough for her to pull your head back roughly.
>”I want. You give.”
>Punctuating her statement, Kanna flexes her legs and the blunt side of her tailblade rubs down your back, prompting you to stand.
>Her other forelimb slips away from her thigh and takes one of your hands. You can feel now that she’s shivering, ever so lightly.
>”You… touch. Touch me like before, make me feel good.”
>She guides your hand back in and places it at the top of her slit, and you don’t need her to elaborate to explain what she wants you to do with it.
>But with her eyes looking down, she spots your own arousal and gives one of those approving growls.
>”Hrrr! You want me, too.You touch when you give.”
>Kanna makes to bring her claws down to you but stops, perhaps realising even through her lust that it’s likely to leave you feeling decidedly less aroused and that would mean less chance for you inside her.
>Instead, she tilts it towards herself, indicating for you to move closer.
>Your free hand moves to her furred hip as you do so, allowing yourself to press against Kanna’s slit that with her so aroused doesn’t entirely return to its earlier hidden state.
>There’s a thump when you do so and the sudden lack of a cool set of scales on your back tells you that she’s let her tailblade fall.
>It’s about the best moment you have to make a break for it, actually, even if it would mean running through the camp of bandit Izuchi with your cock bobbing about between your legs and an aroused and frustrated Kanna chasing after you.
>But that’s not why you set the idea aside.
>It’s because of how she places her forelimbs on your own hips, careful not to let the sharp claws touch your skin.

“Easy,” you murmur.
>”Not human,” comes your quiet reply. “Not soft.”
>But Kanna still goes slightly limp as you grind harder against her, just her hips rolling forward to try and bring her closer to you.
>”No tease…”
>No teasing.
>She sounds… vulnerable? Saying that. Her voice is almost a keen
>And while you owe her nothing, less than nothing even, your hand still settles at the top of her slit and your thumb starts to move in slow, gentle circles as you work it downward.
>All as you begin to ease your way inside her.
>Kanna had felt warm against your lips and tongue but that was just the outside, the precipice.
>As you feel yourself entering the Great Izuchi, as her body grips you, the warmth intensifies quite suddenly and both of you are left more than a little surprised.
>That idle thought from earlier was a little prescient, it seems, since she brings both her legs around your waist. The fur feels… soft. Much softer now that you’re much closer to her.
>”Goooood…” Kanna breathes the word.

“Yes…”
>”Different.”
>Her breath hitches and her mouth falls open, exposing her fangs and forked tongue. Her whole body feels like it’s clamping down around you.
>”G-Good different!”
>The more you enter her, the more firmly you rub close to that sensitive little spot. Kanna pulls harder on your hips but there isn’t much strength to it and in spite of her earlier pleading for you not to tease her, you’re going to take this slow.
>Not to tease her and not so much out of a desire for your own wellbeing, now.
>She’s right - this is different but it’s a good kind of different.
>At once impossibly slick yet tight, warm but with the coolness of her scales on your skin.
>You look up and Kanna’s eyes are turned upon your face, so intently you’d baulk if this were any other circumstance.
>Without really thinking about it, the hand on her hip moves up along her body. Over her flank, her shoulder with the ruff that extends around her neck and then up along her neck.
>It’s as muscular under your touch as you expected but your partner doesn’t try to pull away from you. Her yellow eyes continue to meet yours and her hot breath washes over your face.

“Just a little more,” you whisper, letting your hand come up under her chin and onto her lower jaw, “taste.”
>You can see she’s about to ask but doesn’t get the chance before you kiss her lower lip.
>Kanna lets out a small, strangled noise but doesn’t pull back. Actually, she rolls her hips against yours and winds up taking you the rest of the way.
>Her cool scales slide up against you and one of her forelimbs suddenly goes to your shoulder, gripping so tight you can feel the sting of the claws sinking into you even through the thrill of pleasure from Kanna returning your kiss.
>It’s weird. And awkward. Great Izuchi lips weren’t made for kissing, at least not with humans, and you struggle to force down a chuckle at seeing her try to keep the rear of her mouth closed while opening the front.
>In the end, both of you abandon it and focus more on her getting her tongue past your lips.
>Long and forked and wonderfully serpentine, she’s able to move it far more deftly than you are your own; stroking it around and over your tongue, and threading your tongue between the forked ends.
>She tilts her head to one side slightly and lets her eyes flutter closed.
>It makes you shiver and it’s Kanna who’s the one who lets out her own growling-gurgling chuckle.
>You get your revenge by stroking your thumb a little closer to her sensitive spot just as you start to pull back out of her.
>She tries to ‘eeee’ but with her mouth partly open and tongue busy, it comes out more like ‘eurgh’, like a grunt. Makes sense, at least feeling the way she suddenly clamps down on you again.
>And it makes sense that she’s the one breaking the kiss, although both of you are panting.
>”Don’t!” The forelimb she still has on your hip desperately pulls at it with what strength isn’t being directed between her thighs. “M-More!”

“More.”
>You nod but continue to slowly pull out of her and the big, bad bandit whimpers and draws her legs tighter around you.
>But there’s too many parts of her all trying to do their own thing - her tail scraping and stroking against the ground, one of her forelimbs still shaking slightly as it holds your shoulder, another at your hip, her legs, her lips that she nuzzles against your cheek…
>Kanna can’t stop you from pulling out until you’re almost all the way out of her and she’s bucking her hips weakly and futilely.
>”Moooore!”
>Your whole head vibrates as she growls out the word right into your ear.
>But she isn’t the one in control right now, is she? This is like being out in the field with your wirebug, lashing a Great Izuchi and mounting them.
>More, she wants.
>Your hand’s still on her jaw and you tenderly draw her head back so you can say something to her.

“Here’s your payment.”
>And you thrust, firm and smooth.
>There isn’t enough time for Kanna to react or brace herself and her large body shakes as you meet hers. Another choked sound comes from her as you bottom out inside her but her claws at your shoulder scratch downward as she attempts to hold onto you.
>Your body is tight against hers, against those smooth, cool scales. Your chest pressed to Kanna’s, you swear you can feel her heart thundering inside it. She’s breathing heavily, or at least she’s trying to, and gasping so hard that her forelimbs shake with the effort.
>But you? You start to pull back, faster than before, not giving her a chance to make any objections before you’re almost all the way out again and then deliver another thrust.
>”Nuh!”
>Oh, so she still has some semblance of awareness left in her? Kanna crudely mashes her hips into yours as she thrusts herself against you. You decide to take care of that by moving your thumb down on that spot again but this time you don’t stop.
>”... eeeEEE!”
>It’s different now, inside her. You can feel her quivering around you and you almost want to just stay right there and enjoy it. At least make her feel like the helpless one. But a hunter never leaves the job half done.
>You move your digit in slow, wide circles that give her just enough time to start to pull herself back together before your thumb touches that place again. Then it’s matched with another thrust and Kanna lays her neck around yours and you feel her hot breath over your other shoulder.
>”Eeee! E-urgh n-not let!”
>You’re slowly building up a rhythm, taking less time between thrusting into her and beginning to pull back out and you’re stroking your thumb faster as you do so.
>”N-Not let… you-EEEE!”
>You press down on your thumb on that spot and Kanna’s voice rises even over the lurid sounds of your bodies meeting with every thrust.
>Something is building inside her, that was quickly bubbling up to the surface before Satori barged in and is now helped along with that earlier work.

”Not let… what? Huh?”
>This is almost as much of a workout as an actual quest! You’re normally not talking to a monster right as you’re in the middle of… well, running about.
>Though perhaps you’ll have to start taking a different sort of quest with those intelligent monsters.

“Me… best… you?”
>Kanna’s not holding onto your hip any longer. Her forelimb is around your side, just trying to pull you in as close to her as she can.
>”N-N-EEEE-NOT l-let…” she pants and moans as she speaks, stroking the furred part of her tail against your left leg. “You… sssstop!”
>Her hips thrust and buck almost wildly but with her legs wrapped around you, she has to try and awkwardly find purchase.
>”Human! Ah!”
>And just like that, she stops. No more bucking, no more running her claws over you, no more whipping of her tail and stroking it against your leg.
>Just Kanna, shivering as a high, keening whistle-like sound rises up in her throat and fills the tent.
>She grips you so tightly that it’s almost painful but it’s also rhythmic and undulating, as if even in the midst of her orgasm she’s unwilling to entirely concede defeat.
>You’re not far from it yourself, feeling that pressure build up inside you and she’s not showing any signs of letting you go just yet.
>H-... Hu…”
>Kanna rests her head on your shoulder but still has her legs around you even as they shake from the effort of staying there like that.
>The intent seems clear.
>And you decide to end it like that; when you feel you can no longer hold yourself back, you bury yourself inside Kanna and the part of your mind that’s still cognisant of the world around you, rather than of being inside her, appreciates how she weakly nuzzles against you at the feeling.
>It’s more intense than it’s ever been with any human, the warmth and the wetness of your Great Izuchi partner only heightening the pleasure. The feel of her furred legs on your waist, of her scaly chest, even how her forelimb no longer accompanies the claws digging into you but instead sees Kanna simply holding you tight to her body…
>Even after you finish, you simply stay like that with her. Breathing together, sharing your closeness and letting her enjoy your body heat, as well as the distant, idle thought of how glad you are that none of her subordinates decided to spoil this moment.
>At some point, you wind up rolling off to one side of her but not to let go of her and Kanna is just as reluctant to release you.
>The two of you simply lie there, side by side, basking in each other’s company and the warmth of what you’ve just shared. In spite of the manner that saw the two of you coming together like this, you feel like you’ve learned something new from this experience.
>And not just that this bandit leader can be bought off with something other than zenny.
>Kanna chirrs contentedly next to you and you hold her, appreciating the comfort from the cushions.
>A voice calls out from just outside the tent.
>”... do not eat us! You are clearly mistaken, Satori.”
>You don’t recognise it but Kanna suddenly tenses up.
>”You see! Boss Kanna gone quiet! Look, look!”
>A head pokes in through the flap of the tent but it’s not Satori. It’s not a regular Izuchi at all.
>It’s another Great Izuchi.
>One that looks straight over at you and Kanna cuddled up together. And rather than what you’d expect, a grin spreads over its face before it pulls its head back out.
>”I believe I know what happened.”
>The voice is warm and while not quite as light as Kanna’s, it still sounds a little high.
>”W-What? Is Boss Kanna…”
>”No, no. She has extracted her payment from the human.”
>There’s a pause and Kanna looks back at you, her body relaxing.
>”You can go, Satori. I will handle this.”
>There’s a chirp, followed by a hurried, “yes, Izen!”
>And then the Great Izuchi comes back in with the rest of its body following after the head. He takes a few steps and then stops just short of the two of you.
>”My, when you said you were giving me the lucrative road, I thought you meant for the zenny we’d get from it, Kanna.” The Great Izuchi purses… his lips forward, with a surprising degree of control you hadn’t seen from Kanna. “But it looks like you’ve fared the better from our agreement.”
>It’s strange - Kanna grips you just a little tighter.
>”The human has paid, Izen. Paid well.”
>The Great Izuchi, Izen, looks you over like a butcher looking over a prime piece of Aptonoth meat.
>”So I see.” He takes a step forward. “Paid you, Kanna. But you wouldn’t deny your dear, beloved brother his fair share, now would you?”


Jaggi(a)

=============================================

I FUCKING HATE JAGGIAS
IM GOING TO HUNT 100 JAGGIAS RIGHT NOW

>Diablos was later found unconscious, twitching, fully erect, with several parts broken, and covered in pelvic bruises and several different bodily fluids, most of which was a copious amount of his own semen
>there were no other monsters sighted in the area, apart from an otherwise unperturbed group of Jaggia lounging in the shade nearby

2--300 JAGGIAS!!!!

>Hunter's Log: Our hunting party arrived at the area where the incredibly rare Bloodbath Diablos had been sighted, but it seems that the normally cataclysmic threat had somehow already been dealt with. We had thought the beast sleeping when we initially approached, full bellies, dusted up, and with weapons drawn, yet once we had gotten closer, we found that the beast actually appeared to have been thrashed within an inch of it's life. We could only assume that whatever had taken the beast down must have had a hell of a time with it, because the nearly the entire surrounding area had been flattened and gouged and otherwise destroyed to the point of almost being unrecognizable.
Upon closer inspection, we discovered that the beast was also soaked in copious amounts of monster fluid - exactly WHAT monster's fluid, we didn't know. The bowgunner has collected some and sent it back to the eggheads in Research for analysis, so if there is an even more dangerous monster in the area, we'll soon know. In the meantime, we captured the monster and had it transported back to town, but we're still uneasy about the whole thing.

For now, it seems that the local wildlife has realized that the danger is over and has begun moving back into the area. We even had a few Jaggia directly approach us after we had set up camp for the night. They seemed to be strangely calm with the whole situation, but regardless, we offered them some raw meat to make up for lost hunting time that the Diablos likely caused, and got ourselves some appreciative nuzzles in repayment. Lovely creatures, when they aren't trying to bodyslam you for running through their nest on the way to another zone.


Jagras

=============================================

>still using tailriders

I will NOT bend to the fotm and will only devote my time, appreciation, and penis to those who have supported us for generations!

>It all started out so innocently.
>Once the grimalkynes showed you and your palico the secret to getting help from small monsters, you were elated to try it.
>Suddenly, the wulgs of the Hoarfrost Reach weren't an annoyance who'd plague you at every snowy step.
>You'd find yourself back at the camp, sitting around the fire with a small pack of them as you shared out strips from a cooking haunch of meat.
>Occasionally they'd 'forget' to leave and night would meet you with the fluffiest, softest blanket any hunter had ever known.
>Humans had always lived in harmony with monsters, at least the humans you're a part of. Aptonoth, popo, and others were used to pull loads or otherwise help and in turn they were fed and cared for.
>And this was the New World! So many of the old ways of doing things had been set down because you didn't have the infrastructure and support from back home. You had to find help where and how you could.
>Sometimes it felt like you had to find companionship where you could.
>Karl, your palico, has been a stalwart friend since you first stepped foot on the shores of this continent. Especially when it came to dealing with the grimalkynes, as nervous as he'd been about dealing with the strange, diminutive beings.
>But it was one thing having help from the 'tailriders' in a place where it seemed natural for them to have that kind of bond with others; the wulgs were pack monsters through and through, they relished living and working with you.
>To the point where the commander just gave up on trying to keep them out of Seliana, eventually, seeing as so many hunters loved having their furry little friends around.
>Some raw meat might go 'missing' from time to time but none of the hunters ever mentioned it.
>Back in Astera?
>Well, you were a bit nervous when you first tried calling upon the small monsters in the Ancient Forest. The jagras had a similar social structure to the wulgs in that they hunted together but that was under the leadership of a single Great Jagras.
>The grimalkynes assured Karl they had incenses to lure out all sorts of monsters and once they got a feel for your scent, they'd come running once you called again.
>Your trepidation was ill-founded as it turned out.
>First time you tried it, there was a rustling in one of the bushes before a jagras with a small scar just under his left eye came running up to you.
>He sniffed about at the air and approached the incense sticks Karl put down, before coming up to you and giving you a good smell.
>The thing about jagras is that they're not like wulgs; where the first wulg you met just presented himself at your side for you to mount up, this jagras had to size you up first.
>He stalked around you, sniffing you all over and making sure to get an eyeful. And when he came back around your front?
>He reared back on his hind legs and placed his forelegs on your shoulders, sniffing at your neck and face.
>His claws didn't drive into your armour and it looked almost like he was taking care not to let them do so.
>Then he just... looked into your eyes as if trying to sense something within you.
>Turning his head from side to side, he met your eyes with his and
>It was an oddly intense experience, not least because your only interactions with these monsters in the past had been at the end of a lance.
>But almost as quickly as he'd invaded your space he'd lowered himself back down.
>With a little hissing cry, he turned and presented his side for you to mount him.
>Riding a jagras is quite different from riding a wulg, as it turned out.
>There wasn't that thick, luxurious fur around his scruff for you to hold onto and his scales were smooth enough that you couldn't find purchase with your fingers, even if you were to remove your gauntlets.
>Instead you had to sort of wrap your arms around his neck. Not the whole way but just enough to ensure that you didn't fall off as he jostled you about.
>You told Karl where you wanted to go and he relayed in the grimalkyne language; your jagras friend understood just as well as the wulgs of the Hoarfrost Reach had and you three were away.
>In that way it wasn't entirely unlike riding a wulg but the different proportions and slightly different body structure meant it took you a little bit before you were comfortable enough to ride your new friend upright.
>Oh yes, he was certainly a new friend.
>Apart from the little scar under his eye, he had a slightly more pronounced wattle than other jagras and every time you stepped out of Astera and called for a ride, he showed up.
>You asked some of your friends but none knew of him - they had their own jagras that would regularly show up to them but sometimes it might be another.
>Not you, though.
>He once came limping out of the bushes and you, you were quite fast to rush over to him.
>Letting out one of those hissing cries, he tried to shy away from you and lower himself down for you to mount but the big, strong hunter had little trouble in holding him still to examine him.
>It was a nasty gash along his foreleg and from the gouge it looked like he'd caught the tail-end of a Rathian's dive attack.
>Actually, he'd taken you to a Rathian once and circled around the area watching you.
>That was something else you found was different about your friend: where other hunters mentioned having to call back their tailriders if a monster fled the area, your friend was watching. Waiting. Rushing in the moment he saw the monster retreat and you sheath your weapon.
>When you wanted to get some air and bring your weapon down on some troublesome quarry, your friend learned that the little tap from your knee meant he should throw his hind legs up to launch you.
>With Karl, you really began to think of the three of you as a team.
>Which was why, when you saw that gash, you immediately took one of your mega potions out of your pack.
>A regular one might've sufficed but they were bitter things which one had to develop a taste for. Or at least become inured to.
>But your friend would find the sweet-smelling, honeyed concoction much more palatable you were sure.
>Of course it took quite a bit of sniffing at the uncorked bottle and a little looking up at you, prompting from you, and you taking a sip of it before bringing it back down.
>Karl, that wondrous pack-cat, took a bowl from his own pack and let you empty the mega potion into it.
>Didn't take long for it to get to work on your friend and start knitting the wound closed and ease his pain.
>He even let out a surprised, raspy cry as he looked at his wound sealing up.
>But it was the way he tackled you that surprised you.
>He started nuzzling your shoulders and head hard while letting out this snake-like hissing. You've since come to associate with him being very happy about something.
>You know that because you decided to treat him that day by just doing some sounds of exploration in the Ancient Forest. You were in need of some more ores and a few special herbs for the research team, which were difficult to cultivate back in Astera.
>On a rocky outcropping, accessed by one of the high branches of the massive trees, you set up your spit and began cooking up some of your fresher raw meat.
>Your friend watched with surprising patience as you took the meat from your pack and set it over the fire. Even as you began to turn it and the air filled with its savoury scent, grease dripping from it and pooling in the frond you placed it in to cool, he would just look from the haunch of meat to you and back as if asking.
>That day, you taught him the value of sharing.
>A little salt, a tiny bit of dried and crushed nitroshroom mixed with parashroom for that delightful tingling, and the smell that wafted from the meat was nothing short of delightful.
>You cut off a hearty piece of it and held it out, only too late recalling that you weren't dealing with a human or felyne.
>But your friend? He took it with surprising gentleness and rumbled with contentment as he licked your fingers clean of grease and the remains of the seasonings.
>That was how it started. At least at first.
>The next time you just took something of an off day, it was when the scouts had reported little monster activity which meant the research teams could go out and the hunters take it a bit easier.
>Some stayed ready just in case, as was always the case, but you'd earned yourself a little time off.
>You didn't even think about it when you left Astera and called your friend up.
>He didn't come running up and present himself for you to mount, he circled about you making sure to rub his body against yours and trail his tail around your legs as he came back around to your front.
>Down at the beach, there was a cool breeze blowing but being the scaled monster your friend was, he was more than happy to lay himself against you and soak up all your warmth as you and he and Karl took some much-needed respite.
>Thing is, he wasn't lying there with his eyes closed and his tongue just about sticking out of his mouth as was the case once before when you might've given him a little too much cooked meat and, with a full belly, he fell asleep all curled up around you.
>No, he was looking at you.
>And you were looking at him.
>Like the first day the two of you met but different.
>Less intense.
>After all, you did have your hand on his neck, stroking it.
>Couldn't help but smile at him.
>Not so much when he thrust his head forward and started nuzzling you.
>It drew a lot of sand with him and you wound up coughing and spluttering and trying to wipe your face.
>Your friend was a little upset at seeing you so discommoded and quickly drew his head back.
>But even if he couldn't fully understand your words, you kept your tone gentle and sweet, and told him that it was okay, you just weren't expecting it.
>So you tried doing it yourself - putting your forehead against his nose and lips in a little touch before you just continued to lie there.
>With him.
>It was... oh, a while after that day that the word came down that a Yian Garuga had moved into the Ancient Forest and you were among the first hunters who volunteered to go out and take care of it.
>Nasty piece of work those monsters and armed with your experience, your friend Karl, and your jagras friend, you believed you had all you needed to get the job done.
>Big mistake.
>Big, big mistake.
>Your friend led in with a hop to send you into the air to land a decisive blow against the foul bird wyvern when it let out one of its metallic, ear-piercing roars.
>Sailing through the air, it disoriented you massively and you landed against that wicked beak with a thump only narrowly managing not to get snapped in half by sloppily thrusting a hand against it and pushing yourself off.
>It would do your pride some good to say it was a long and difficultly fought battle but the truth is, after that first screwup, you were kept on the backfoot.
>Every time you brought your shield up, the Garuga found just the right angle to bypass it and every time you tried to evade it was just a fraction of a second too slow.
>You heard your friend call to you now and again, and you knew he wanted you to hop on him so he could get you out of here to recuperate but you couldn't do that.
>You'd just be leading the Garuga along and possibly right into someone who wouldn't be expecting it.
>So the moment that the Yian Garuga let out one of its roars and you were just too slow off the mark to bring your shield up to protect your ears, you were left in a daze as your ears rang and your head felt like it was going to explode.
>Last thing you remembered was a set of scaly claws and fierce talons coming down on you.
>Next thing?
>You were back in Astera and Karl was beside you in tears.
>He was holding your hand and telling you over and over how scared he was that you weren't going to wake back up.
>Especially because he found you just outside Astera with toothmarks in your armour's pauldrons; it looked like a small monster had tried to make monster-chow out of you.
>He would've saved you himself but the roar that left you open to attack also had him struggling to recover.
>By the time he did, you weren't around and the Yian Garuga was taking to the air and he feared the worst.
>After looking about for you and finding nothing, he headed back to Astera to arrange a search when he found you just outside it with drag marks following you there.
>Oh, clearly even though you'd been badly injured you valiantly managed to drag yourself to safety!
>Some much-needed hugs later and after a visit from the medics, Karl was cleared out to let you rest.
>But that night?
>That night, someone else showed up.
>Your friend from the Ancient Forest.
>After napping for a bit, you woke up to a yellow-and-blue-scaled head resting on your chest, those golden eyes peering up at you.
>He let out this rumbling, purr-like noise mixed with a growl when he saw you opening your eyes and leaped up onto your bed.
>It... reminded you of the Yian Garuga and you felt this momentary chill of fear until you saw him stepping over you to lie down at your side.
>But in the dark, with just the moonlight illuminating him as he gazed at you, you felt a strange calmness fall over you and you lay back down.
>You didn't even notice when you brought an arm over him, nor when he moved in closer to you.
>He'd somehow made his way into Astera, past the gate guards and through the logistics workers moving goods through the night.
>Slipped into your private quarters, probably having followed your scent.
>Humans living in harmony with monsters. Working alongside them. Counting them as friends...
>You fell asleep at some point and it was with your stalwart friend next to you, snuggled in close.
>Next morning came with a din - medics and other personnel were going crazy about your friend, trying to shoo and chase him out of your quarters.
>You, sadly, were too disconcerted by it all and your lingering weakness to stop them.
>Faithful Karl explained to you, later in the day, what happened.
>Shortly after you were patched up and brought to your quarters to recuperate with the medics regularly checking on you, your friend started showing up.
>At first, the gate guards caught him easily and just shooed him off. What could one jagras do against them?
>But he persisted.
>Every time, he got a little bit closer until they next found him slinking through Astera proper.
>Past a certain point they stopped drawing their weapons simply because they found his persistence so confusing.
>Oh but not the captain of the Argosy.
>Once Karl got wind about it, he tried to tell others about how you knew the jagras and he wasn't a threat.
>The well-travelled captain found the whole tale uproarious and pledged to do his part to help reunite friends - after all, when you were travelling between the Old and New World, you had to treat those who you relied on well.
>So with the help of Karl, he managed to coax your friend into one of the boxes they'd bring in and once it was being carried past the quarters, they'd make sure no one was around and let your friend out.
>The medics would still chase him out each morning and give the hunters and gate guards a serious chewing out over letting a monster get at one of their patients but the others couldn't understand how the jagras kept getting in.
>That went on for a few days more after you came to, with each night seeing your friend lying on your bed next to you.
>One night, you pulled the covers back and let him slip under them, curious about how much the cold-blooded monster would enjoy a nice, warm bed.
>Quite a lot, was the answer to that!
>His body felt cool against yours, undressed as you were.
>You welcomed his head against your chest and the way his tail coiled around your ankle... Oh, it made you smile something fierce.
>Although your bed was left in pieces after the medics were screaming about you being eaten, the next morning, and the hunters started hacking at it to try and 'save' you.
>Your friend didn't show up that night.
>Or the next.
>In fact, it took a week more before the medics would even consider letting you get up on your feet and you had to sneak out during the night.
>But not before you gathered some supplies.
>Raw meat, charcoal, flint and tinder, utility knife, light armour, sword and shield... and some dried and crushed hot peppers.
>Oh yeah, they only grew in the cold climes of the Hoarfrost Reach but you had a way around that.
>The research team had ice blocks shipped in from Seliana to help with preserving certain samples and specimens of insects and plants.
>You had a few friends who were willing to spare a block or two each time, for you to set up some ice boxes of your own in the basement of the quarters where you grew some hot peppers.
>Took a system of mirrors, too, but you managed to grow a small but steady supply. Gog-damn it but you developed a taste for putting them on cooked meat and it did wonders for the flavour.
>So you went out into the Ancient Forest whistled for your friend.
>But nothing.
>You whistled louder.
>Still nothing.
>But you were prepared for this.
>Sneaking through the trees, up one particularly large one, and then onto a familiar rocky outcropping, you set up your spit.
>With a frond in hand, you occasionally fanned at the meat before you started rubbing some salt and powdered peppers into it.
>The smell was savoury and sweet and highly piquant. It made your mouth water and even at this late hour you dearly wished you could just tear into it.
>But no, you kept fanning.
>And fanning.
>And fanning...
>And you were rewarded by the clicking of claws against wood and then against stone.
>A jagras with a little scar under his left eye and a larger wattle than most, stuck his head under the low, root-covered wall of plant-matter that blocked off the path here to all except humans and small monsters.
>Letting out a cry of elation, he scrabbled under it and came running over to you.
>The frond you'd been using to fan the meat lay discarded in an instant and you had your arms out to welcome the hug you knew was coming.
>You didn't care who heard you, what hunters might be out, what monsters might be prowling, you laughed.
>You laughed and held your friend and grinned as he nuzzled your head, switching from side to side as he struggled to get himself close enough to you.
>The meat was overdone.
>Didn't matter.
>Meant the pepper flavours sank into it.
>And your friend?
>You'd never heard him making such noises before.
>A series of warbling, growling moans of pleasure as you shared the meal.
>Once more he wound up licking your fingers clean...
>And then without a moment lost, he was licking around your lips to get the last bits of flavour there.
>Maybe if you had more presence of mind, you'd have realised then and there why it didn't bother you at all.
>Or why he kept going even after it was clear there was nothing left to taste but you.
>Instead you just hand your hand over and over on the spiky scales on the back of his head, angled back as they were and with enough give at your touch that you could run your hands over them without injury.
>The actual spikes, you were careful to avoid.
>You just wanted to be close to him and show him how glad you were.
>That's why your other hand stroked his scaly cheek.
>That's why you were smiling.
>That's why you kissed him.
>He didn't react in the way a monster should've.
>He didn't try to pull away, afraid you were trying to eat him. Or lick you reflexively in affection. Or just act as if nothing happened.
>Instead, he put his lips to yours, mimicking the kiss but without pursing his scaly lips.
>Just as brief as yours had been.
>You could feel his tail flicking down between your feet, hear the sounds it made as it swept against the stone.
>That night, the one where you'd welcomed him under your bedclothes, had been... magical.
>It felt right, strangely.
>Your friend who had proven not just his resourcefulness and intelligence, but his loyalty and dedication.
>Sneaking in to see you? Those weren't the actions of a mindless monster looking for food.
>He cared about you, about your wellbeing.
>Bitemarks from a small monster in your pauldrons... Drag marks up to Astera...
>You'd known.
>Somehow, deep down, you'd known that you hadn't dragged yourself back.
>Memories of it hadn't resurfaced in the time since your recovery.
>And looking into those golden eyes, you knew exactly why that was.
>You told him - it was him.
>He tilted his head to one side quizzically.
>He'd saved you - you said.
>He 'kissed' you again.
>This time he let his tongue slide against your lips as if probing for permission.
>He didn't need to ask it but you opened your mouth to him just as you'd opened your life to him.
>There's that growl-moan he made when eating the meat, again, with his claws resting on your shoulders and pinning you there, almost as if he's afraid you might try to get up and end this.
>Or maybe because he wants to be close to you.
>Your hands just as eagerly find his flanks and run down along them.
>You hear his tail's flicking intensify the further your hands move down.
>It's accompanied by his tongue slipping deeper into your mouth.
>Deeper.
>Poking at the top of your throat.
>Your fingers dig at his scales and you have to fight the urge not to draw your legs up and around him.
>His eyes are on yours through it all and there's a raw and primal hunger shining in them.
>One that doesn't diminish when he retracts his tongue only to give it a last swirl against your lips.
>One that's spoken of in the hot hardness that begins to press against your thigh.
>Matched by your own against his scales.


Kulve Taroth

=============================================

If monsters had dating profiles, what would they look like?

Name: Kulve Taroth
Location: Loc Lac
I am: Pure gold, darling~
Looking for: Someone to spend it on!
Partner Preference: [ ] Monsters [X] Humans

Profile: Let me paint you a picture, my dear hunter: travelling through the streets of upper Loc Lac you hear the voice of a beautiful, older dragoness as she bemoans the loss of true gentlemen from this world. They have taken her gold and left her with children long since gone from her home. Reclining next to the pool at the rear of her palatial estate, her beautiful golden mantle has been shed and her finely aged body is bared. But you, a young hunter of modest means but not modest values, avert your eyes from her glory.
Let me tell you something else, hunter: you needn't at all~ If you have ever wondered why I am called the 'Mother Goddess of Gold', then this is your chance to find out! Take my claw and you will never want for anything in this world again, least of all the very finest company one could wish for. I grow tired of the many flatterers and sycophants who come to claim my fortune when I gird myself in noble gold to call forth my true love! One yet young, who hasn't been corrupted by the longing for filthy lucre. One who doesn't hide his lacking manhood behind his fortune. Oh yes, my dear, what a young man like you needs is an older monster to guide all that youthful vigour towards just the right outlet~
Don't let my size intimidate you, darling, I am simply generous in all the ways that it matters! Do you long for a lady with more to give than a thin little waif? Does the impetuousness of youthful women not stir your heart? Then perhaps we can stir something up together~
From the hotels of Dundorma to the sandy beaches of Port Tanzia, the world shall be ours to enjoy, hunter! All you need do is take my claw and I will sate every appetite a young man of your golden heart is left hungry with. Let me be your mother, your goddess, your all and everything in this world, hunter!

Likes: young men with Longswords~, scintillating personalities, endless endurance, a healthy love for truly vintage ladies~
Dislikes: gold diggers, lords, kings, businessmen, stuffy old fools, men who turn their noses up at age and experience

[There are dozens and dozens of photos of Kulve, showing her standing in places as exotic as the Caverns of El Dorado and as far flung as the beach of the Volcano. She's got her head tilted to show off her earrings in most of them, winking while blowing kisses towards the camera. Ten of them show her holding her gold mantle away in suggestive manners. One photo is buried in the middle of the enormous list showing her on a humongous bed that must be her own in Loc Lac with what can only be described, inexplicably, as golden lingerie made specially for her enormous, monster form.]


Kushala Daora

=============================================

SNAP! CRASH! THUNK!
>"well well well, look what i caught here.."
"DAMN IT ALL! NO!"
>"A Monster! and well its just not any Monster but a rare and unruly Kushala Daora at that."
"i u-uh.."
>"a Kushala Daora...thats grounded for sure for sneaking out after curfew!"
"Dad wait, cut me loose and i can explain!"
>"oh go ahead, i'm listening! i'm going to love what you've come up with this time"
". . ."
>"thats what i thought, now tell the truth and i mean the real truth, why are you sneaking off?"
>"my friends Lunastra and Velkhana are throwing a party.."

"you went through all this trouble to break out of the village wall and deny curfew just for a party?"
>"You don't understand! its not any party, its going to be the biggest party of the new year in the new world! Namielle is going to DJ and Kulve Taroth is even going to show up!, do you know how rare that is?!"
"oh, i know. but you still snuck out against my wishes, and that still warrants punishment of some sort."
"but i am a benevolent father, one who is capable of granting forgiveness and also understands how important these things are to you."
"so you may go to this party, on one condition."
>"Dad, i dont like where this is going.."
"i shall be your CHAPERONE!"
>"NOOOOOOO!"


Lunastra

=============================================

If monsters had dating profiles, what would they look like?

"Now, let's see..."
>Click. Click. Clack. Click.
>DRRRRRRRRR
>DRRRRRRRRR
>"Hi and thank you for calling Southern Singles Hotline! Your one-stop-shop to meet hot singles and connect, from Loc Lac to Val Habar!"
>"First, let's get some information from you. Using your interface pad, press 1 if you are a human, 2 if you are a wyverian, 3 if you are a monster, and 4-"
>BEEEP
>"Okay! Now let's find out what kind of hot monster you are: press 1 if you are a small monster, press 2 if you are a flying wyvern, press 3 if you are a leviathan, press 4 if you are an elder dragon, press-"
>BEEP
>"Thank you for your patience, esteemed elder-"

"Grrr!"
>"we just have one more question about you. Please select your gender from the following options: press 1 if you are fema-"
>BEEP!
>"And now for the last question before we can match you with a single in your area looking to chat. Please press 1 if you wish to be connected to a huma-"
>BEEP
>"... Okay! In just a moment you will be connected to a real single looking to talk to YOU! Please remember to be polite; calls are not monitored but improper use of this service may be reported and-"
>BEEP
>"-Guild will be dis-"
>BEEEEP

"Mrrrowl..."
>"-penalties including shock-"
"Insipid machine!"
>"But so long as you remember to stay polite and have fun, we're sure you'll find our service is number one! ... Please hold while we connect you!"
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AklRebZxD6g

"Ugh, this was a mistake. I should never have listened to Velk-"
>"Hello?"
"AH! Ahem Yes, hello, are you... a human?"
>There's a brief pause on the other end followed by chuckling.
>"Last I checked, yeah!"

"Hmph! Impertinence of that sort is unbecoming."
>"Impertinence?"
"Yes! Impertinence! To speak to one such as I with such a tone of disregard and extemporaneity."
>"Huh? Oh... Oh! You're an elder dragon, right-"
"OLDER dragon! I am not some wizened Lao to be spoken to as if she is half-deaf and unable to follow direction!"
>"Okay! Okay! Sorry..."
"You do not sound as if you are."
>"Sorry. Really. I was a little caught off-guard, this is my first time talking to an el-... older dragon."
"Yes, that much is readily apparent."
>"Listen, if you'd like I can just hang up and you can try again and get someone new."
"No... Better a young gentleman without preconceptions that I might mould properly."
>"Uh..."
"Although we'll have to work on that 'gentleman' part."
>"Wow. This isn't what I was expecting."
"And what were you expecting, hm? A Kushala Daora, ready to throw herself to the ground before the first man that looks at her? Or a Kirin so eager to have her mane brushed that she would suffer some young fool putting his hands wherever he pleased?"
>"... I just meant I thought I'd be talking to someone that, y'know, wants to talk."
"In that case, forgive me if my standards are a little higher than the capability of speech."
>There's another little bout of chuckling on the other end of the line.
>"Okay, I misjudged you! You've got a great sense of humour!"

"I was not being jovial in saying that."
>"Alright, alright. Look, why don't we exchange names so we can start getting to know each other? I'm Anonymous, or just Anon, if you'd like."
"Yes, a diminutive form is more becoming. As for myself? You may address me as 'Your Highness', Anon."
>"That kinda lady, huh? Alright, I gotcha. So why are you calling a singles' line, Your Highness?"
"I am calling because my oaf of a former mate thought to show his craven heart by lusting after some young and slippery thing that... ugh... 'gives him a good pounding'."
>"Ah shit, your old man left you? That's rough. He must be a real piece of shit to say that kinda thing right to you."
"Yes, well, I would not wish to use such crude language myself but perhaps where he is concerned, an analogy towards excrement is in order. Thank you, Anon."
>"Hey, you sound like a real swell lady, Your Highness. Who knows? Maybe I'll run into him on a quest sometime and I can give him a piece of my mind for you, huh?"
"A quest?"
>"Yeah, I'm a monster hunter!"
"I... see."
>"Nah, don't worry, the Guild doesn't go after intelligent monsters like you. We work with a lot of them and take contracts from others, actually."
"Ah, so you have experience with monsters?"
>"Yeah, you could say that."
"Your words sound as if they lack conviction, Anon."
>More chuckling but it sounds a little brittle, perhaps.
>"I guess. I mean I have experience hunting monsters and I've got to know one or two intelligent ones but aside from that, I haven't really had the chance."

"I see. Is that why you are availing of this service?"
>"Yeah? The monsters I've talked to all seem really nice so I thought hey, may as well try and meet one but I guess I wasn't really sure how to go about that."
>There's a little pause.
>"And you? You, uh, picked to talk to a human, right?"

"That is correct."
>"Any... particular reason why instead of another e-older dragon, Your Highness?"
"In truth, a friend spoke of this service and how she met a fine, younger gentleman through it. A hunter, as it happens. She said that many of you develop a respect for monsters that one may find lacking in their own kind."
>"I suppose that's one way of putting it. When you see a monster fight and how they move, the grace and power all together like that, it can be... attractive."
"Attractive?"
>"Yeah. You ever seen a Mizutsune dancing about on their bubblefoam?"
"My past duties left little time for such frivolities."
>"Past duties, huh?"
"The administration of a kingdom tends to occupy oneself."
>"Oh! So, uh, the 'Your Highness' bit wasn't..."
"No."
>"... Okay. Ahem Sorry for my behaviour earlier, Your Highness."
"Please be calm, Anon, I do not wish you to bow and scrape over this telephone to me. Simply treat me with due respect and we may converse amicably."
>"Yeah but like, you're a... Princess? Queen?"
"Was."
>"Huh?"
"I was a Queen. Of a place to the east of the Great Desert. Before that... lecherous, contemptible oath-breaker of a Teostra decided that his vows meant less than spilling his seed in some trumped-up..."
>The line becomes increasingly distorted, as over a few minutes, growling complaints mix with the sound of flames licking at the phone's receiver.
>Lunastra takes a moment before she calms down and remembers she hasn't got one of those fire-proof phones yet.
>"... you okay? Hey! Your Highness? Did something happen?"

"No... No, I... I am alright, Anon."
>"What happened?"
"It is of little concern, just a minor issue."
>"It didn't sound like something I shouldn't be concerned about! Talk to me, Your Highness."
"You should not call me that."
>"Why not? I mean you're a Queen, right?"
"I said I was, not that I am. Now, I am simply 'Luna' and my only palace is a modest homestead north of Loc Lac. I command no armies and hold no servants in my household. All because of that..."
>"Okay, okay, we don't have to talk about him, alright? Let's just talk about you. You know I'm a hunter but what do you do? Now, I mean."
"I... It is not important."
>"C'mon, Your Highness-"
"Luna."
>"Luna. I want to get to know you and that means I want to know how you make your living. C'mon, it's not like my job is that glamorous!"
"No? A monster hunter as the kind romanticised by human and monster alike, a valiant defender of cities, towns, and villages, and a stalwart steward of the natural balance of the world? The very pinnacle of human strength and fitness and you do not think much of it?"
>There's open laughter on the other end of the line, warm and rich.
>"Gog, you make me sound way more than I am! I'm not sure super hunter or anything like that, I'm still taking low rank quests!"

"Low rank? Excuse me, are you of a lower order than other hunters?"
>"Nah, no, it's not like that, it's... okay, how much do you know about the Guild?"
"A little. I know you take quests to deal with monsters or other matters."
>"Right, you probably don't know of how they're structured internally."
"No, I have little knowledge of the internal proceedings."
>"Well, quests are divided into low, high, and G ranks. Uh, that's 'Gilded, by the way, for hunters that've demonstrated they're the best of the best, who can take on the toughest quests the Guild has. Stuff like elder dragons and other-"
"Ahem!"
>"R-Right, sorry, older dragons. Point is, you have to work your way up. You have to prove yourself. And I..."
"You are still a relative novice, yes?"
>"Yeah, that's one way of putting it..."
"Hmm. So, bearing that in mind, if an older dragoness were to tell you that she... works in Loc Lac for the smithies, providing proper temperature-controlled flames for them to work with? You would be... ?"
>"Wow. Huh, I mean, that's pretty neat!"
"Truly?"
>"Yeah! I spend a lot of time in the smithies both in the Guild grounds and in Loc Lac for other things and I know how hard it is for them to get fuel to get just the right heat. Wow, if you're working in Loc Lac then you're helping like half the southern lands..."
"... You sound impressed, Anon."
>"I am, Luna! From what I've heard, getting just the right temperature is really hard and really important."
"Hmph. You are quite kind to say so."
>"Just the truth."
"Then, speaking truthfully, have you enjoyed our discussion so far?"
>"Truthfully? Yeah. Been a while since I've had as enjoyable a talk as this. Not exactly the easiest to meet anyone in the Guild."
>"No? None of the monsters that come to you for help have wished to enjoy your company? Or perhaps offered... services?"
>More laughter.
>"No! No, that Guild wouldn't accept that kinda thing at all!"

"You didn't answer my first question, Anon."
>The laughter dies down.
>"I didn't, did I?"

"Am I prying into a terribly personal matter?"
>"More personal than you telling me about your piece of... uh, excrement ex?"
>For the first time, Luna chuckles. It's like a mix of a growl and flames licking at a chimney.

"He truly is an execrable beast! Unable to rein in his own desires!"
>"Didn't even realise what a great lady he had!"
"Truly! You know, Anon, he was nothing but a simpering pussycat before I met him."
>"Oh yeah? Shaped him into something decent?"
"Not decent enough it would seem, although there are limits even to the powers I may command. I cannot instil loyalty and honour where there is none at all."
>"Still can't believe what he said to you."
"He has said far worse. That is why I no longer have a queendom to command."
>"Huh?"
"He convinced the noble council that I was unfit to continue rulership, that only a male could provide the strength and stability necessary and that the land's flourishing under my rule was merely a happy coincidence. One brought about by the astute counsel of the nobles."
>"Wow... That is low..."
"Truly. Though I do take some measure of comfort in the thought that he will soon be floundering as he realises it is he who needs to counsel the nobles and he lacks the acumen to properly administer his kingdom."
>"Without his beautiful, intelligent, witty wife to help guide him?"
"Flatterer!"
>"Truth speaker!"
>She laughs again and she feels warmer than she has on any day spent in the forges and steamworks.
>"Y'know, I never asked - what do you look like, Luna?"

"My appearance? Do not say you are so shallow, Anon."
>The laughter she hears now makes her smile.
>"I just want to get a mental image of who I'm talking to."

"And would you not wish to talk to me yet more? Perhaps even as we share a fine meal and drinks, so I may see the man who speaks so humbly of himself and so flattering of I?"
>There's a pause and then some slightly nervous chuckling.
>"We're both here to meet someone, eh?"

"And it would seem that I have had good fortune this evening."
>"Not half as much as me, Luna."
>The two spent hours through the rest of the evening talking over everything - Luna's time ruling over her land near the Great Desert, more about her ex, her work, even a little about what she's looking for in a partner.
>But it was dinner that weekend, after the two called each other more times, that changed everything. When she invited Anon to her home and in her bedroom, the two ignited a fire between them that none of those even in Harth could match.


Malzeno

=============================================

>Malzeno became a lance main
Truly a monster after my own heart.

>engage in combat with a primordial malzeno while equipped with a lance
>he proves to be an admirable foe, striking with grace that only a true knight could have
>it turns into a long and drawn out fight, and while you managed to hold your ground for this long your stamina finally runs out
>you fall to your knees exhausted from combat and ready to accept your fate
>surprisingly, instead of striking you down and claiming victory, the malzeno sweeps you up in his tail and gently takes you back to his royal ruins
>you pass out from exhaustion and the last thing you see is the malzeno walking away
>upon waking up, you find the malzeno had been watching over you as you rested
>laying in front of you is a fresh small monster carcass just waiting to be cooked
>the malzeno eyes you with great intent as you pull out your carving knife and cooking set, no doubt waiting for you to fully recover with this fitting meal
>you get the feeling that you're going to be "training" with your new lord for a while

=============================================

>your Malzeno child starts hanging out with a bad crowd
Yet another example of how hard it is being a monster's dad.

>be huntanon
>bond with a female Primordial Malzeno during a hunt over your mutual love for lances and all things knightly and chivalrous
>end up getting hitched (by monster terms) and having a devastatingly handsome Malzeno son that any grandma would be proud of
>find yourself imagining how he'll look once he's all grown up and gracefully wielding the lance skills you'll inevitably teach him when he takes up your mantle after your retirement
>that changes a while later, when you get a message from his teacher at the Wycademy that he's been skipping class and training sessions to hang out with a gang of Qurio that's been loitering in the area recently
>you and his mother confront him, only to catch him in the dreaded act of Qurio Bonding, the manic glee in his eyes all to apparent as he revels in the feeling of being nearly unstoppable
>it's obvious that the seductive little bugs tricked him into trying out their vital energy gathering ability "just once", and now he's completely hooked and unwilling to stop
>it's all you can do to stop his Primalzeno mother from lunging at her own son to make him stop by force
>she of all people knows the dangers of Qurios and doesn't want to see him go down that road, but you don't want to see either of them get hurt
>so she does something drastic instead
>she drops her guard and bellows a challenge to the Qurios infesting your son to come get a taste of a REAL Malzeno
>relishing the chance to bond to a full-grown, stronger, and more experienced Malzeno, the Qurios practically dogpile her
>much to your son's sudden shock and regret when he finally snaps back to his senses and realizes what's happening

Uh-oh

=============================================

>a group of new lance recruits are being trained by a veteran knight for a guild regiment one day
>suddenly, there's a sharp change in the air followed by people screaming outside of the training grounds
>the group gets word of an unspecified elder dragon approaching from the skies
>despite being new recruits, they're all ready to put their lives on the line to protect the rest of the town because that's what lance users do
>before their teacher can even make a plan of action, the elder dragon swoops down and lands in their courtyard
>it's a primordial malzeno, his elegant scales glistening with a terrifying intent
>the teacher readies his lance in a defensive stance, with his trainees following suit
>this is his first time fighting a malzeno, let alone encountering a primordial one, but he's still ready for anything
>worries of how his pupils will survive the monster's awesome might flood his mind—
>the malzeno steps back a bit and takes a stance almost mocking the teacher's, using his wings as a shield and his tail as the lance
>everyone is at a standstill, uncertain about what they should do
>the teacher, almost fed up with the malzeno's passiveness, makes a few jabs at the air and slowly walks forward
>surprisingly, the malzeno copies his movements in a somewhat crude manner
>the teacher stops, and so does the elder dragon
>gears start grinding in the teacher's mind, and after seeing the malzeno badly copy a few more of his moves everything begins to make sense somewhat
>fast forward a couple of days
>the malzeno has been making great strides in his lance maneuvers alongside his hunter pupils under the teachings of the veteran knight, even becoming a sort of mascot for the group
>the teacher however keeps wondering what the malzeno will do once it "graduates" and training is complete...

=============================================

>he [Malzeno] likes to wear costumes when he’s being plowed
W-what kind of costumes?

>"Mel, sweetheart, now is not the time to contract iceblight."
>It was easy for Kiki to say that! The Tzitzi-Ya-Ku assured him that her fashion choices were on the very cutting edge of what was coming out of Loc Lac and if anyone knew how to advise him, it was the hottest young monster that knew all the hottest trends.
>Mel, tall, regal Malzeno that he was, still stroked the quivering qurio on his chest.
>Coming back into the human settlements? Difficult but doable.
>Smiling and greeting the humans? Awkward, though he had to admit it felt good.
>Being complimented upon his appearance? Reminded him why he was doing this.
>Yet still, looking up at the painted sign of a winking Rathian that hung outside Threads of Gold, the thought of returning to the Citadel and squirrelling himself away seemed a far more enticing prospect.
>"C'mon, Mel, didn't you say you had another date with that hunter you got talking to a little while ago?"
>Oh, now that made the qurio bristle so much he thought they were about to fly off.

"Kiki, please!"
>He ducked down close to her, turning his voice to a whisper.
"Not so loud."
>He did not appreciate the grin that split her lips.
>"What? You don't want people knowing /you have a human boyfriend you want to dress up for/!"
>She didn't exactly shout that half of the sentence but Mel still found his frills quivering as he glanced about.
>A few people were giving Kiki odd looks but otherwise paid no mind.
>"See? No one cares, Mel, they all have their own lives."
>Easy for her to say when she paraded about in skimpy outfits like the one she wears right now, with 'Ask me to flash you <3" written on her low-cut shirt. She even makes sure to walk about more upright just to show it off!

"Yes, yes, good! Can we please just leave the streets?"
>He looked about nervously until his eye caught a trio of hunters making their way down past a restaurant.
"I'm not entirely sure he won't be here!"
>Clucking her tongue, Kiki took one of Mel's large claws in both of her own.
>"Fine, you big Kelbi! But we are not leaving until you pick out at least one nice outfit!"
>For a moment she tugs and grunts as she attempts to pull him along.
>"Mel!"
>Recalling himself, he steps forward.
>Compared to most of these modern shops he'd seen, this one lacks a clear view into it. What clothing is displayed in the windows, looks more conservative than what Kiki stated this place sold.
>Indeed, stepping through the large doorway, the interior of the store is dark but not so much that he couldn't make anything out.
>Candles line the shop, waxes in all sorts of colours but mostly soft pastels, adding a soft, intimate feel.
>He'd visited a clothier at one point, not too long ago, to get some feel for what fashion in this time is like and was left shocked to see just how ostentatious the common people could now dress. Made his own wings feel poor in comparison, in some respects.
>But they were still a far cry from the stuff that donned the monsterquins of this store.
>Here, a Jaggia model stood decked out in frilly black and white lace. Zinny had joked to him about getting some serving staff back in the Citadel but considering how ruinous the whole thing was and the modest home Mel now occupied, it seemed a foolish notion. He'd also brought along some documentation surrounding them.
>This outfit was not dissimilar. A thick, black blouse rested against the monsterquin's chest, over which sat a more delicate white lace apron. Of course, the polished wooden model beneath both was still visible. Whatever sort of fabric it was made from, it did little to truly obscure who wore it. And the gloves over the forelimbs!
>Such intricate, floral patterning! Not even a countess would hold herself so lucky to wear such finery and yet here it was being used for titillation!
>Though he did have to admit to himself the long stockings that clung to the Jaggia's legs did look quite enticing
>And over there?
>An Ivory Lagiacrus - clearly so, from the much lighter colour of the wood used for the monsterquin.
>Mel paused mid-stride and just... stared.
>It was not the sort of outfit one could wear out and about, not unless they wished for all eyes to be upon them. And probably every guard hurrying to conceal the wearer.
>Around the monsterquin's throat was what could only be described as a fabric choker with a small, heart-shaped pendant hanging from its front. Like the rest of the outfit, it was a beautiful deep blue and it sported a floral pattern in the fabric.
>Wrapped around the monsterquin's forelimbs were gloves like on the other model but these were... much more scandalous! They covered the entirety of the limbs, right down to the claws that tented the fabric at the tips.
>Swirling, wave-like patterns were embroidered in seafoam white and the way they were designed drew the viewer's eye up and up towards the one who was wearing them.
>And across the chest! It wasn't an apron, or a blouse, or one of those modern shirts, it was a form-fitting slice of silk that was designed with the sole purpose of accentuating the wearer's bodylines. A slash down the centre afforded an utterly maddening hint at the scales (or woodgrain, in this case) that lay beneath and one of the monsterquin's forelimbs were raised towards it as if beckoning the viewer to pay further attention.
>The slash drew Mel's eyes down along it and that took him to a 'garter belt' that was cinched around the monsterquin's waist.
>And there? Oh, right there, it was as if the lace had been designed in such a way as to both draw the viewer's eyes across the design which was made to look almost like scales that shimmered even under the soft light of the candles.
>Just underneath them, Mel could see the side of what had to be the-
>"Quite the sight, isn't he?"

"AH!"
>Leaping back, he whipped his head around towards the source of the voice - a Rathian, dressed in quite ordinary clothing for a monster, amounting to what passed for a shirt and something akin to a skirt. Although she did have a number of earrings in each ear.
>"Oh heavens, my apologies!"
>A monsterquin rattled about after she'd knocked against it following Mel's outburst.
>Kiki, also looking to have been startled, turned to him with her crests unfolded and stiff.
>It was a wonder she hadn't flashed them.
>"Are you alright?"
>The Rathian looked between the two and Mel rapidly found himself caught between thinking this was a mistake and a worthy price to pay if it meant he could take home an outfit like that.
>Taking a moment to use her wing talons to right a couple of other monsterquins she'd pushed about after jumping back, the Rathian gave her wings a little shake and approached Mel.

"Yes... Yes, I... believe I am."
>The Rathian visibly relaxes and her wings tuck back near her sides.
>"Oh, good. Good. Ah... Well, I'd like to think that's a good endorsement of the quality of my stock, if nothing else!"
>She let out a nervous chuckle but Mel found his eyes drifting back to the Ivory Lagiacrus monsterquin.

"Quality, indeed is something you should... be proud..."
>His mind clouded over with thoughts of how that might look against his own scales.
>Perhaps with a human under him, one who he knew would certainly appreciate such finery.
>"Still having second thoughts, Mel?" Kiki whispered to him, having recovered herself.
>He only shot her a momentary look of exasperation but it did little to wither her cheer.
>"Well, allow me to welcome you to my little shop of fantasies! If you do like that," the Rathian said, tilting one wing out towards the monsterquin Mel's eyes were practically glued to, "then perhaps I may find a few more outfits that might also catch your eye."

"Others?"
>That thought, that there might be fabric fancies that could match this one, was the only thing that drew Mel's mind away from thoughts of wearing the outfit.
"You have others like this?"
>The Rathian bobbed her head.
>"Not to boast too highly but I don't consider that my finest piece."
>Her wing extended out again, the talon indicating the tip of the gloves of the monsterquin's forelimbs.
>"We use a mixture of silks produced by both Nerscyllae and Rakna-Kadakii, to ensure even the sharpest monster claws don't spoil those intimate moments."
>As if to demonstrate her point, her talon traced along the glove.
>"But it's still soft enough to the touch that you'll find it pleasing for both you and," she went on, glancing to Kiki, "your lover."
>Didn't take her but two seconds to erupt into uproarious laughter.
>"M-Me and... Mel?! Bwahahaha!"
>A little rumble came from Mel; the idea of he and Kiki was... Well, not to mention she had someone herself but Mel found little enticing in female wyverns.
>The Rathian, more respectful however, turned a quizzical eye to Mel.
>And the words died in his throat, suddenly.
>Speaking to a stranger about this, even if the idea of monsters and humans being together was far more common in this age, still wasn't something he wished to announce to all and sundry.
>"N-Nah, he's looking for something for his boyfriend!"
>Not so Kiki, who had few real compunctions that he at least had encountered.
>"His /human/ boyfriend."
>Oh, mother of Gog...

"Kiki, I swear upon my estate, this is the last time I take you anywhere..."
>Either he'd muttered it too quietly or the Rathian didn't care, perhaps more taken up with whatever recommendations were running through her head.
>And indeed, even Mel knew what that look in a monster's eyes meant - Kiki had the same look when he revealed the nature of his nightly excursions and the mysterious human she'd caught glimpses of.
>"Really?"
>He also knew what that tone of voice meant.
>"Then I think I have just the outfit for you!"
>'Just the outfit' turned out to be, in fact, three different outfits in differing colours.
>The first was white, second was the blue number on the monsterquin he'd been admiring, but the third was folded up before the Rathian gave it to Mel and he could only see the edge of one item which was a deep, rich carmine in colour.
>After that she had pushed him towards the dressing rooms and Kiki had been quick to follow, appearing just a little too eager for him to model the outfits so they could give their opinions.
>Didn't he trust the Rathian was a professional?
>She did, of course, not say anything about herself.
>So now Mel stood inside a massive dressing room with lighting slightly more intense than out in the rest of the store. Certainly, it was enough to illuminate his form in the full-length mirror on one of the walls.
>There was a short bench against another and he set the bundle of what could barely be called 'clothing' on one end before seating himself on it.
>The custom of intelligent monsters sitting on cushions had fallen out of favour some time ago, so he was told, and most now happily grew accustomed to sitting like this.
>Mel was just looking forward to getting back home and sitting on his comfortable cushion opposite his human, over a pleasant supper.
>But then, just thinking about his human made his wings beat lightly against his back in a reflexive attempt to cool his body.
>Back when he was still what could be called a baron, the idea of a monster and a human sharing anything more than friendship was nothing short of scandalous!
>Oh, it did happen; stories drifted in from always far-flung places of a Mizutsune who had used their devilish wiles to seduce a valiant hunter or a human who had stolen some young Pink Rathian princess away for a night of pleasure that ruined her for her own kind forevermore.
>But... He wasn't living in that time any more. And he was no longer a noble, even in spite of what his own hunter told him.
>"You may not be a baron, Mel, but you're more a prince anyway. And tonight, I'll be your most loyal and attentive servant."
>One of his claws traced against his chin as he caught himself smiling at that memory, one which sent a shiver down along his back and made the qurio on his forelimbs shudder.
>Yes, he was very lucky to have someone who was so /happy/ to wait upon not only his needs but his desires.
>It was the feeling of cool air hitting something hot and hard that reminded him of the dangers of thinking such thoughts outside his home.
>Besides, Kiki would no doubt eventually grow tired of just passing the time by talking to the Rathian, Syneé, before it'd turn to gossip. And about Mel's companion.
>Well, the red garments were on the top so perhaps he might try out those that could be more appealing even than that blue number.
>Folding back the delicate paper that protected the garments, Mel inhaled sharply at the sight.
>The qurio on his body and the undersides of his wings were more pink but against his dark scales, the colour of this outfit would look nothing short of sumptuous.
>Garment after garment were piled high and picking through them, Mel couldn't begin to guess at what some were.
>Experimentation could come later, right now there had to be at least some pieces he could readily identify.
>Those two... they were almost like gloves but as if they'd been sliced open down along their length, with a series of straps like garter belts at each end.
>And were those hooks? No, silver rings. They glimmered brightly in the light, having clearly been kept polished. But they only raised more questions.
>Beautiful, yes, with their cherry blossom patterning covering them which lent an elegant, almost demure air to their appearance.
>Hmm, no... no... All of those would have to be put on later...
>Oh, goodness!
>Now this item, he did recognize: covering for a wyvern's private place!
>Because of the wide variance in body types but relative universality of tails, this was designed to be wrapped around, rather than slipped on and Mel found himself glad of that.
>The crests on his tail wouldn't permit him, even fully folded in, to slide this up his tail.
>Standing back up, he reared back on his hind legs while holding the garment, and examined himself to find the best way to don it.
>The two straps could slip around his waist easily enough but he'd need to leave some of the ties at the rear undone, to account for his tail crests. Perhaps he could see about having a custom item made?

"Foolishness..."
>What he and his companion had discussed was still some ways off, he couldn't go lashing even more zenny to such flights of fancy. Not just yet. Perhaps if everything worked out, it might make a suitable celebratory indulgence.
>For now, Mel contented himself by slipping the fine silk garment against his lower body.
>He inhaled sharply as he felt it brush up against the sensitive scales that lined his slit. This may prove to be more difficult than he'd thought...
>The sight in the mirror showed a Malzeno holding that fabric against himself, eyes narrowed, hind legs shivering slightly.
>The barest hint that something might be pressing against the silk.
>Growling, Mel did his best to force that part of himself down but it was little good when he had to draw the straps over his hips and around his back.
>His claws made short work of tying them, in part thanks to his back lacking the sharp, raised ridges of other wyverns, but now, with every little movement he made to tilt and turn to examine himself, the fabric bumped against his scales and made him shiver.
>Resolving himself to do this as quickly as possible, though with shaking forelimbs, he took the long, tube-like end of the garment and brought it down along his tail. Tying the furthest end was perhaps a mistake.
>Now, from between his thighs to just below the base of his tail, every movement made that silk hugging him rub harder and more insistent upon his scales that felt instead like they might as well be human skin.
>The human skin covering human fingers that would stroke against his body as whispered words of amorousness made him squirm upon their bed and beg for-
>A throaty, shuddering gasp left Mel as he realised he'd already started to stroke one of his claws against the garment.
>Or rather, against what was creating a particularly dramatic bulge in it.
>With most of the straps still untied, he was free to slide out into it and to rub himself down.
>The sight in the mirror, of him panting, his chest heaving, and even just this simple garment on him, did absolutely nothing to lessen his excitement.
>What would Anon think?
>With a snort, Mel whisked his head away from the mirror and turned back to the bench.
>What would Kiki think if she saw him?
>Or the proprietrix, Syneé?
>"Everything alright in there?"
>Only his claws clapping over his snout kept Mel from crying out in shock.
>"I heard a bit of a racket, are you alright?"
>Did she know? How could she know? Did wyverns typically please themselves in here and she knew the sound of claws rubbing against fabric?
>He glanced down to the pile of clothing again, recalling how much more he had to go.

"Y-Yes, of course. I'm alright, just..."
>'Couldn't stop thinking of how much my boyfriend will love this.'
"Had a little trouble getting something on!"
>Silence.
>Silence that felt decidedly awkward on Mel's end.
>"Do you need help?"

"No!"
>By Gog, he was still hard!
"T-Thank you but I believe... I should be able to manage."
>He could hear wings rustling from just outside the dressing room.
>"Let me know if you need help."
>Getting the rest of this on, of course.
>Which is what he should be doing instead of indulging in his own lurid fantasies!
>Suppressing a snort of annoyance, Mel snatched up a pair of stockings that looked to be just the right size for his hind legs.
>Then placed them back.
>He still had to lace up the cover between his hind legs.
>Shutting his eyes, he reached behind himself and began to feel about for the straps.
>There were quite a few of them but tying them wasn't the problem, nor was it getting a feel for the ones he should leave undone.
>No, it was the feel of how much tighter the garment became and how much more insistent it rubbed against his scales and against something that refused to heed his angry admonitions.
>Huffing at his own recalcitrant arousal, he refocused his attention on just the straps until all those he felt should be done, were done.
>Chancing another look in the mirror, he had to admit, he was right about the colour - roses thread their way up the length of the garment to bloom around its centre. Their swirling petals suggested to the viewer that beauty and desire lay tucked beneath them.
>With a whoosh, Mel swiped one wing across the sight and turned back to the bench. Now he could properly focus his thoughts elsewhere!
>To that pair of stockings.
>Even holding them made him think of what was still rubbing him in all the right ways between his thighs.
>Seating himself a little awkwardly with his tail coiled around and under himself, he extended one of his hind legs and held a stocking out along it.
>Perfectly sized.
>He draw his leg back up and opened the silk stocking, sliding his claws into it.
>Didn't really feel much of anything for a moment and Mel found his body and mind relaxing as he thought that his ordeal might be over.
>But it was a short-lived hope.
>The moment it slid over the scales of his foot, a shiver coursed up along his hind leg, rippled along his thigh, mingled with the undeniably pleasant feelings still emanating from between his hind legs, and rocketed up through his body.
>But he wouldn't allow himself to gasp! Not this time. He screwed his mouth shut even as the qurio on his chest started to flutter and shake.
>And the silk, sliding over his scales... It was like a thousand fingers caressing him! His hind leg extended up further and a single claw on each forelimb drew it back along his hind leg.
>The electric shivering sensation intensified with each inch he slipped up along his scales and he had to fight not to think of a hand sliding it back down, or even just running the length of his leg in an admiring touch. The fabric of the stocking wasn't entirely opaque and the way the red mixed with the colour of his scales and how it hinted at what lay underneath, it was like the stocking was designed specifically to make his legs look far more enticing than they were through every trick they could.
>Only when he pulled it up over his thigh could Mel no longer hold his mouth shut so firmly and instead had to content himself with pursing his scaly lips to blow out a shuddering breath in some small attempt to control himself.
>True to her word, the fabric was strong enough to resist being torn by his claws. Worse, it was strong enough not to be torn by how aroused this little experience had left him.
>He glanced to the remaining sock and had to suppress a groan. The hem had a lace pattern of scales that looked slightly like petals, delicate but powerful and incredibly pleasing to the touch. Oh yes, Anon would have something to say about that.
>Mel tried to get the other stocking on faster but the fact that he already had one on and every movement of that leg made him tingle, almost felt like it made the next one worse. It heightened the difference in sensations between the two and without even thinking about it, he was on his hind legs again, standing before the mirror, heedless of his arousal and instead admiring how the stockings looked on him.
>He turned from side to side - his body was lean and rather muscular but the stockings went some way to softening that. He looked almost... feminine, down there, now.
>Especially with the silk that reached its was down his tail a little.
>There was still the garter belt. And the straps for the stockings, but at this rate Mel was sure if he took any more time than absolutely necessary and donned any more than he strictly needed to, to get a feel for this outfit, he would quite possibly wind up with a significant cleaning bill for the dressing room.
>And explanations for Syneé he'd rather not explain.

"Miss... ahem, Miss Syneé?"
>Perhaps he could help calm himself down with a distraction. And a reminder of why he needed to control himself.
>The clicking of claws on the floor rung closer for a moment before he heard a voice.
>"Everything okay?"
>Mel glanced at the bench and the strange, long garment he'd set aside.

"I, ah, have something that I'm not sure what it is."
>Hopefully nothing as lascivious as those stockings...
>There was silence again for a moment before the Rathian replied from outside the dressing room.
>"The wingsocks?"
>The... what‽
>He looked from the item to the door of the dressing room and back again.

"I... I-I beg your pardon?"
>"Oh, they're all the rage recently! A Gore Magala seamstress from Jenem had the wonderful idea of creating a garment like stockings for wyvern wings, isn't it just darling?"
>That would not be the word he would use for the notion!
>"You see, you place them over the forearm, tie the straps across your back, and place the rings over your wing talons! And they add the most delicious accompaniment to such a majestic part of your body~"
>Mel's mouth hung open as he stared down at the treacherous garments.
>If he so much as attempted to put those on here, he may as well just turn himself in for gross indecency!
>"Try them on and let me know what you think!" Syneé called out, her voice retreating. "Your friend is still picking out some items for herself."
>As long as they weren't for him... Mel was sure he could just about get through another piece or two from this outfit before he'd have to abandon the rest entirely.
>Stepping gingerly back to the bench, Mel halted and turned his eyes to the 'wingsocks'. He brought up his tail and used the claspers on the end to take up the gloves while keeping his eyes firmly fixed on those scandalous things, lest they decide to leap onto his wings and undo him right here and now.
>At least the gloves were just... Oh. Like stockings for his forelimbs...
>A momentary thought and some small coaxing saw the qurio there resettle on his chest, though they wiggled in irritation.
>First glove.
>He could do this.
>Countless other wyverns of this age could bedeck themselves in this sumptuous finery, and he was a fine enough wyvern to warrant it!
>Just... the one that gazed back at him from the mirror did, perhaps, possess a persistent reminder that he was still unaccustomed to the utter art wyverns had made of seduction now.
>The glove was a fine, delicate lacy affair. All along it, were patterned gouts of flame and swirls of smoke, as if a mere touch from the one who wore it was enough to set the one touched ablaze with passionate desire. It did not help that the two mingled together to almost look like flowers having petals blown free of them all along the length of it.
>The sensation was similar to slipping the stockings onto his hind legs, only a little less intense.
>Instead, a thought came unbidden to him of Anon sliding the glove up his forelimb and muttering something about how pleasing it'd feel on his skin. Especially if Mel was lying on his back, holding him and telling him of all the terribly lurid things the two would partake in this night.
>And with every inch more that the glove slipped up Mel's forelimb, he felt Anon inch closer to his face. That hot breath, those whispered words, the way the human's legs would straddle his body and brush up against the scales of his chest, oh!
>Before he knew what he was doing, he was rubbing against the scales of his abdomen with his now gloves forelimb.
>The digits at the end were the correct number, though clearly made for a different wyvern.
>But that didn't matter.
>He looked...
>Even without the full outfit on. Even without both gloves on. Even without his hunter here to admire him, Mel could already clearly envision the look on his lover's face and it made his heart race and thighs quiver.
>If he could just make it back out to buy this- NO! To buy all of these! He would surely have all he needed to ensure his beloved would never so much as look at another wyvern, for his eyes and his thoughts and his body would always be turned to Mel's.
>This was it.
>This was the new and deserved look for Mel.
>Sensual. Elegant.
>And incomparably sexy.


Mizutsune

=============================================

>"'Never had you dick sucked by a monster?'"
>"What about two monsters?"
>"Doubtful. Look at him, he looks like he hasn't even gotten a kiss from a monster..."
>"I'll give you a kiss, hunter... on your cock."

>The two tama brothers pin you down and work on your cock like professionals
>The bubbly one slithered his tongue around your balls and giving them a good squeeze
>His soapy saliva kept your purse shiny and sensitive
>His more fiery brother worked on your tip, planting searing kisses on it
>Making sure the heat reaches to a point you're writhing in pleasure until he lets go before putting it inside his mouth like an oven
>You didn't last long as your cum covered their slutty faces, licking your entire member with thier hot and cool tongues
>Next they sandwiched you between their fluff as their rear paws worked on your still sensitive cock
>Making sure they rub their scent on your face while they whispered honeyed words above you
>Suddenly you feel something stiff and pulsating against your member
>Just like you, your little greatsword is sandwiched between their cock
>Rolling over your length as if they are cleaning brushes
>You can't help but thrust against them as if it is a woman's lower lips
>The two smirked and expertly grabbed their own cocks and sandwiched them tight around yours
>Words of encouragement were muffled as you pretended you were breeding some monster fuckhole
>You passed out somewhere at around your fourth orgasm
>Wake to find yourself squeaky clean but covered in singed kiss marks around your body except your crotch

=============================================

My fellow inexperienced monster lovers, do not be deceived by a Mizutsune's sultry words! I was recently propositioned by what I presumed to be a female due to her vibrant colors. We began the deed (in the missionary position as Gog intended of course), and imagine my surprise when a tapered length started peeking out of her slit! She must've noticed my confusion, and explained that her kind have a prehensile clitoris. Understanding that monsters' anatomy can greatly differ from ours, I brushed aside the thought of its somewhat phallic stature and continued. Of course, mutual pleasure is always priority and it was only natural that I stimulate her most sensitive place with a full-body massage. My efforts were eventually rewarded with vigorous thrusting that nearly bucked me off, her sizable appendage showering us in feminine fluid.
Later in the day, a passing fleet member remarked that I "smell like a Tama single-handedly bukkaked you." When I clarified that the offender was female, they laughed and simply said "sounds like they got another one," whatever that means. Thus, I am now starting to question the validity of that Mizutsune's statement. It doesn't matter how pleasurable the experience was – I'm a straight, STRICTLY heterosexual male, NOT gay, and I don't appreciate possibly being tricked into sexual acts with another male, no matter their attractiveness!

=============================================

[Mizustune is] Severely underrated by all the hypermasculine hunters who tally their monster pussy bodycounts with marks on their weapons/tattoos. I want them to release their bottled up emotions into his fresh-scented purplefur while they're held in a caring manner.

>"Hello, hunter."
>You hadn't expected anyone to be around here and least of all the owner of the voice of Yukumo's resident friendly Mizutsune, Sion.
>There was this particular little stump outside the village, not too far from one of the stone markers and lantern posts on the way towards it but still far enough off that you believed you shouldn't be bothered.
>Especially by the nosy bath cattendant who delighted in luring people in with promises of relaxation and peace only to pump them for information.
>"May I ask why you're looking like that?"
>Frowning, you turn about to be met with the smiling face of Sion who's surprisingly close. He's getting quiet on his claws.

"I was just getting a little peace and quiet." With a humph, you turn back around to gaze out at the edge of the forest, muttering, "and how could you know how I looked? I wasn't even facing you."
>A deep, rumbling sound came from the Mizutsune indicating he was chuckling.
>"I didn't but then you turned about to face me and I saw you."
>Gog damnit, so the bath cattendant was just plying you because he knows you're an easy mark!
>Autumn leaves crunch to one side and slightly beside you; Sion must want you to know he's approaching now.
>Indeed, a white snout slips into your peripheral vision but no more than that.
>"You've been avoiding the bathhouse, my friend."
>And his breath carries the unmistakable scent of his favourite jasmine and mint teas.
>The cattendant had been utterly livid about Sion adulterating the sacred springs with his bubblefoam, until the two came up with some story about an old tale of the two mingling to bring good fortune on those who bathe in it.
>Ever since then the wyvern had been treated to as many cups of tea as he wished for and, well, you had to admit you took a little satisfaction in how he pumped the felyne for every drop.
>"And you're doing it again." >Reflexively you turn and pull away from Sion's head but he just keeps his cool blue eyes on you that match his calm, quiet tone.
>"Staring off towards the horizon as if it holds all the answers."
>As a wyvern, his voice was always deep but Sion was different in how soft it was. How sweet and gentle it sounded to the ear.
>But it does little to take the sting out of what he says, how right he is.
>The cattendant wasn't the only reason you were avoiding the village, after all. You'd caught the distinct laughter of Her Royal Highness, Enla, the Rathian who'd followed you all the way from near Pokke.
>Oh, she had it bad. Once she got a taste of that 'explosive hunter fury', as she liked to call it, she made sure to 'drop by' on hunts or just poke her head into your home in Pokke.
>You might've thought it was all a ploy to get the Rathalos you knew had his eye on her jealous but once you were relocated to Loc Lac, she was flying beside the airship almost constantly.
>And that was just one! You really didn't need to think about Nakmur, or Gila, or Tish, or Kiki, or...
>"Have you had any tea today?"
>Funny, since when was the horizon white and purple?
>And- Oh. No, the blue sun didn't blink, it was Sion's eye.
>You were so lost in thought that you never even noticed him bringing his head around you to get your attention.
>Now all you can do is give your hand a dismissive wave.

"I have some dried stuff but I didn't feel like having any earlier."
>Another rumbling noise rose in Sion's chest but this time it wasn't the rich and bubbly series of almost-growls that were a wyvern's laughter but a smooth and contemplative hum.
>He keeps his eye on you for a moment longer and that red slit at its centre contrasts so greatly with the surrounding blue sclera that you can't quite look away from it.
>"Would you care to join me for some, then?" His tone is even and level, neither insistent nor imploring. "It's alright if you don't but I happen to know this quiet little spot by the river in the Misty Peaks that's quite agreeable for... peaceful contemplation."
>It would've been easy to sulk about that little nod towards how easily he's seen through you.
>And part of you is sure he'd find satisfaction in your doing that, too, so if only for that reason you give him a nod.
>You hadn't taken any quests today and weren't thinking of doing so but you still had your armour on and your trusty hammer at your back.
>Sion needs no armour, of course, but he has a pair of large sacks gracing his back that sway as he walks up around you.
>There's a sort of thumping, sloshing sound from inside them that you've never heard before but you're not really in the mood for whatever game Sion is trying to lure you into with the sacks.
>The two of you make your way down past the ancient ruins that mark the way to the Misty Peaks and your companion seems content enough to allow you to remain quiet as you do so.
>Watching him move gives your mind something to occupy itself with beyond your rumination.
>Sion chooses each step with care and precision, careful to avoid errant leaves and place claws upon grasses. At least until you get to the rockier part of the hills into the valley.
>Then there's the clicking of those wicked things against the stone and the susurration of his delicate purplefur, especially whenever a breeze blows by the two of you. The fins at his head wave so gently as if he allows the breeze to stir them but is careful to control how much.
>Had he always moved with such grace? You couldn't say if Sion was vain, not as such, but he had a propensity like all Mizutsunes to try and avoid dirt and enjoyed being complimented upon the shine of his scales. Through the dappled light of the leaves of the bamboo, they did look quite good today.
>"Something caught your eye, hunter?"
>All too late you realise you've been staring at him and avert your eyes, turning them back onto the path you've been walking by following alongside Sion.
>It was funny; you weren't expecting him to say that the way he did.
>If it was Gila, she would've hopped about you before coiling her tail around your chest to make it clear exactly what her intent was.
>And you would've gone along with it, of course. Just like you always do. Just as the notches along the string of wooden tallies in your pack show.
>It's the burbling of water that draws you from your thoughts, rather than the rumbling of Sion.
>One of the little streams that draws off from the river proper and feeds into pools that the gargwa sometimes gather about to drink from.
>"We're almost there. I must thank you again for accompanying me, my friend."
>You decide to take a chance and glance back to him but the edge of Sion's lip is just curled back in a smile.
>"I've missed our little chats in the bathhouse."
>It was about the only time you didn't have the cattendant bothering you and most other monsters weren't able to fit into it, what with work to design some elegant accommodation still being done.
>Sion was just able to squeeze in the already large entry designed more to impress.

"Yeah..."
>He was about the only monster, too, that you didn't feel like you had to strip down with. Which meant that getting undressed for the bathhouse felt like any other time you went to relax.
>The rock underfoot shift from its mostly dry counterpart further up the valley with the occasional patch of moss, to requiring you to carefully navigate.
>The boots have good grip but the last thing you want is to put a foot wrong and give Sion another reason to have a chuckle.
>There's something else, here, however. When you're done in this part of the valley, it's invariably because of a quest and even on the occasions where they're languid you still treat them with the same professionalism.
>You never noticed before that this part of the river is so... peaceful.
>The water, at this particular bend, flows gently enough that you almost don't hear it.
>Reeds taper into thickets further down but right here, it's clear and with only trees bordering the opposite bank.
>The afternoon sun still shines down, unobstructed by clouds. No cries from wyverns or even the distant honking of Gargwa.
>There's just the sound of Sion reaching back to pick up the sacks in his mouth and gently deposit them on a drier section of the rocks near the river. Even the breeze from further up isn't palpable here.
>If you didn't have a pair of blue eyes gazing at you, you might even... What?
>Forget that you don't have to actively avoid smiling if you feel like doing it? Of course Kiki would take that as an invitation to-
>"Ah!"
>It's the suddenness of Sion's exclamation that knocks you out of your spiral of thought, rather than what he said.
>"None of that, now."
>The Mizutsune advances upon you with his easy grace and shining scales, not with the haughty attitude of Enla or the raw strength of Diana but as if... as if he moves to some unheard song and every move he makes is calculated to express its feeling.
>Was this why the village chief had once called him her, 'entrancing water dancer'?
>As if he can sense your thoughts, Sion adopts the vocal mien of the chief.
>"You will accompany me into the water to bathe, hunter."
>And as you watch how his fins gently stir like the ripples of water, you find yourself nodding without even thinking about it.
>You begin the process of removing your armour, while Sion already steps down the bank and into the river.
>Soft leather clasps come undone and you remove the gauntlets, the vambraces, the rerebraces... And all the while you keep your eyes upon Sion and how he turns himself before touching the water so that he appears as a fish breaching in slow motion.
>If it's for your benefit then it's certainly quite the show and one you cannot take your eyes off. His head fins dip into the water before his neck glides against its surface. The patterned, iridescent fins on his back rise before the meet the river and you can see them flutter slightly as he dips into it, clearly keeping his body from sinking too deep.
>Then he snakes further along, placing his claws into the water and waving them slowly as he lifts his hind legs and turns his lower body about. But the strangest thing of all is that his tail doesn't follow. His whole body is turned about so that he's lying supine in the river but his tail sits on the bank, almost invitingly.
>And you, you have removed your armour until now all that remains are the undergarments to keep it from chafing against your skin.
>You start to pull the shirt up, followed by the light pants over your legs until all that remain are the smallclothes about your waist.
>Except, when you go to remove those, Sion very pointedly clears his throat.
>Those blue eyes gaze back at you from the blue water of the river.
>"There is no need, dear hunter."
>And for the first time that day, you smile.

"It's okay."
>'With you.'
>Sion tilts his head to one side but is careful to watch you all the same.
>You always wore some covering in the bathhouse and so this will be the first time that he sees you entirely naked.
>You don't feel like concealing anything from him, however. Not right now.
>So you deftly remove even that and fold it gently, setting it down with the rest of your undergarments. You really didn't want to have to wear those wet things on the walk back to the village, anyway.
>Turning back to the floating Mizutsune, you watch as he opens his mouth slightly before shutting it immediately.
>A day of firsts, then, as Sion is the one left with nothing to say.
>Still, with the cool autumn air surrounding you now, you're left with the knowledge of just how cold the river likely is.
>Your entrancing water dancer's voice had been so entrancing that you never considered anything than the pleasure of a peaceful bath with him.
>"Hunter," Sion says, finding his voice once more.
>And not just that as you watch how he lifts one of his claws from the water to toss and shake it to one side, making even that motion like elegant. Water droplets fly from it until nothing remains except the gleaming and fine scales.
>Scales that catch and almost shimmer in the light as he brings his claw over his chest with a very pointed look at you.
>Oh.
>Your eyes trail down his body to the tail he still keeps at the edge of the river, on its bank, at just the right height for you to...
>But he isn't presenting.
>He hasn't made any indication that it's his intent and you... feel a mote of shame and guilt that you might even have thought he would.
>The stones feel even more unsure under your now bare feet but Sion keeps his placid eyes upon you and you keep glancing up at him between each step and from them draw the desire to keep going.
>You had felt a Mizutsune's purplefur before, yes, from any of the feral and distant cousins of Sion and the other intelligent Mizutsunes. But the nature of what this was and who this was changes the feel against your leg and against your arms and against your belly and your chest and your whole body that lowers itself down onto him.
>Sion rocks slightly from side to side like a boat and you smile again. He smiles back at you, his lips curling back and up.
>With impossibly deft movements, he raises his other foreleg from the water and uses the same tossing, shaking motion to dry it.
>Meanwhile, you do your best not to grip his purplefur too tightly as you make your way up his body. It feels strangely intimate in a way you've never been with any other monster and you've little doubt it's at least in part from the way those eyes never leave your own.
>You only stop when you come to his chest and the end of his purplefur and it tickles your body in the most delightful way while feeling softer and more inviting than even the silk sheets in the bedrooms of the palaces of Loc Lac.
>More than with any other monster at any other time in the past, you have not a single care for your bare body. The closeness is something you need.
>You lower your body fully against him and are suffused with the warm feeling that you never want to leave this place of peace and comfort.
>Even as Sion casts off from the bank of the river and dips the finned part of his tail into the water just enough to steer himself, his motions are so slow, so gentle that you can't feel them from where you lie against the wyvern.
>What you do feel are a pair of claws upon your back, just as gently pressing you into his purplefur until your whole world is the smell of petrichor, the rich purple of the twilight sky, and the rumbling hum of contentment of friendship.
>Your eyes drift shut and you simply... breathe.
>In...
>Out...
>The radiant sun has just enough warmth left to leave your back feeling warmed and your front, oh, 'warm' is not a word you would deign to use.
>Not when you have the slow thump-thump-thump of Sion's heartbeat to complement, not disturb, this blessed silence.
>The two of you drift about on the river with only your friend's fins needed to direct you to the opposite bank and then back again. Over and back and over and back...
>And all the while the only breeze is the breath of Sion, the only warmth you need, his love, and the only care you possess, that this perfect moment might stretch out into eternity.
>"Hunter."
>You've never heard a wyvern whisper before. It's like the wind stirring a bed of reeds. Like the cool air of the mountain ruffling the leaves of the trees. All you can do is struggle to match its timbre in acknowledgement.
>"This is what you wish for."
>His head must be close to yours for him to be doing this. The thought makes you shift ever so slightly but Sion's claws on your back hold you fast, as if he's just as unwilling for you to move away from him.

"Yes..."
>Your voice sounds beyond muffled as it's caught and held by Sion's purplefur, unwilling to share your secrets.
"But they-"
>Intrude upon this peace and tranquillity.
>This close to Sion, the rumbling hum that he produces vibrates through your whole body. It's like the most exciting and relaxing massage you've ever experienced.
>"They are not here, hunter."
>The claws on your back, Sion still being careful to keep the sharp ends away from your body, give the lightest squeeze.
>"Only you and I."
>Every knotted muscle unwinds, every foetid thought evaporates, every fiber of your being feels like its simply melting and melding into Sion.
>Your eyes drift shut and your arms stroke out across the luxurious purplefur, your skin tingling and trembling.
>You don't have to be the hunter that adds to the tallies.
>You don't have to lie with Kiki, or Enla, or any of the others.
>You just have to be you, right here.
>Only you and Sion.
>As it should be.
>And is, as your breathing slows and deepens and your dear friend holds you close, letting... everything run free of you.
>And this one, precious, perfect moment stretches out before you.
>Both of you.

=============================================

If monsters had dating profiles, what would they look like?

Name: Mizutsune
Location: Val Habar
I am: Beauty, grace, and feminine wiles
Looking for: A gentleman hunter who cleans up well
Partner Preference: [X] Monsters [X] Humans

Profile: BEFORE YOU READ ANY FURTHER MY PREFERENCE IS BUGGED IT SHOULD SHOW A PLUS FOR MONSTERS TO SAY I'M OPEN TO IT BUT I PREFER HUMANS SUPPORT HASN'T FIXED IT YET THANK YOU
Rice bubbles away
My hearth and heart warmed by love
Our appetites filled
Have you ever, my dear hunter, met a monster who possessed the ways of soothing both your body and soul? Living as I do among the crossroads village that lies between Dundorma and Loc Lac, I have been afforded many opportunities to meet those willing to teach. From the refined music and poetry of Yukumo to the beautiful choral songs of Bherna, I lay my talents at your disposal. And when it is that your body aches from your long day of hard work, I have a storehouse both of ingredients and knowledge of dishes from every corner of the world. With a bubblefoam bath and a belly of Coconut Calamari done in a Cheeko style, would you not find yourself renewed? But love is built upon more than such foundations, is it not? And it is love I seek, dear hunter, not a momentary passing of passions. It oft seems that life in the trading village is one of fleeting meetings and stolen glances. I have travelled, too, searching for one who might share a silky embrace yet alas, most monsters are too territorial and sedentary to wish to move as I do. But that is where we might fit together like a shamisen and a bachi, no? I yearn for excitement and adventure and to provide, in turn, a warm and comfortable home for my beloved to return to. No hunter should be left with his stomach empty and his desires unfulfilled.
Do not think me a shrinking violet, however. For should you doubt my capabilities then prepare to be left stumbling and slipping about, only for your beloved to strike you down and leave you floating upon the currents of the river amidst bubbly, foamy kisses. Whether in heated springs or 'neath cool waterfalls, my foam and claws are at your disposal to wash your physique. After all, getting dirty is only half the fun, isn't it?

Likes: Fine beverages, elegant acrobatics, hunters who understand precision, music to warm the heart
Dislikes: Brutes, big weapons, Almudrons, the din of Minegarde, emotional distance

[Most of Mizu's photos show him in deceptively modest poses that nevertheless show off the thick purplefur of his chest. One shows him languidly bathing near the waterfall of the Primal Forest, a pink lotus tucked behind his left ear, and a wooden bucket with brushes sticking out of it next to him and the play of bubblefoam about him. The final shows him with a large shamisen, his long curved claw being used as a bachi, and his mouth open for a group of hunters and traders.]


Nargacuga

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If monsters had dating profiles, what would they look like?

Name: Nargacuga
Location: Verdant Hills
I am: a cuddly kitty cat
Looking for: someone who can keep up
Partner Preference: [ ] Monsters [X] Humans

Profile: Okay, first off I'm going to say you should check out the pics on the side there. Did that? Okay. See that body? That's an athlete's body. You think because I've been through the mill that I'm going to look like one of those chewed-up old Dundorman hags? No way! And it's why I'm looking for one of you young hot guys. I need someone who still has energy to keep up with my routine. Especially you hunters! I know you guys train day in and day out and I wanna try that out too! I'm not gonna lie, if you decide to take a chance on me you're probably gonna be getting hot and sweaty a lot of the time but that's me, I'm real physical. Just you know it's not all training. I'm still a 'cuga and I still have needs. But the bedroom is just as serious as the training room and I'm not gonna settle for someone who isn't gonna bring his best! I might not have much experience with humans but you're gonna find out that I pick things up quick. I'll keep you on your toes!
[The next part is in a different font.]
Yeah, okay, look I keep getting asked so yeah I got a couple of not so little 'cugas from my last marriage but they're grown up and you don't have to worry about all that, okay? My piece of Anteka dung ex talked them into staying around him and my home's pretty quiet now. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not raking in the zenny or anything but I have enough to get by comfortably and I just want someone to be comfortable with. I don't want someone who's all chewed up, I want someone who's still young enough to know how to treat me right. I wanna cuddle up on our couch and in our bed and go swimming with you down by the river. I want you to make me feel like I'm a young 'cuga again.
If you think you're the kinda guy who can do that, shoot me a message.

Likes: working out, saunas, hot springs, getting physical, good food, good love
Dislikes: Lucent, lazy bums, living cactuses, Lucent, can I say Lucent again?

[More than one photo features Narga showing off her toned fore- and hind legs, including a particularly saucy image of her lifting her tail to show the inner thighs of her hind legs. Her eyes possess a particularly fierce red glow in it that radiates hunger. She must've had some special outfits made for her because she has what looks like a tank top with '(caution, this) MONSTER SQUATS!' written on it and what barely qualify as 'shorts'. At the end of the list is an unassuming and quite candid photo of Narga on her couch, holding a large cushion against herself while she's not looking at the camera, obviously picked out by a friend to be submitted.]


Rathian

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If monsters had dating profiles, what would they look like?

Name: Rathian
Location: Deserted Island
I am: a beautiful female wyvern
Looking for: boys please
Partner Preference: [ ] Monsters [X] Humans

Profile: I've been around the Forest & Hills a few times but don't think that just because I have fifteen children that means I'm looking for someone to be their dad. I want to settle down with a nice hunter who needs a motherly monster to take care of him. If you're the kind of human that likes a big cuddly wyvern to get all cosy with at night then don't even bother with any of those other profiles! I have a great sense of humour and am very well versed in human comedy so you don't have to worry about me not getting any of your jokes. I am a very experienced wyvern but don't think that means I'm some worn out Aptonoth, I know what I like and I think if you give me a chance I can show you that I know what you like too. I live on the Deserted Island so we have lots of room to play and build a warm nest for ourselves to spend lots and lots of time in.
Don't wait, hunters, mommy needs love!

Likes: young male hunters, silk sheets, long walks near the desert, making a nice comfy nest for my man, being addressed as 'mommy'
Dislikes: pushy male wyverns, STUPID FEMALE WYVERNS TRYING TO STEAL MY HUNTER, MIZZY, unwillingness to commit, lack of intimacy

[There are four photos with one of them showing her chest, one showing her tail bulb, and the third showing a closeup of her face that still has her chest in shot. The fourth is very clearly a photo of her and Rathalos that has had the latter crudely edited out.]


Shagaru Magala

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If monsters had dating profiles, what would they look like?

Name: Shagaru Magala
Location: Sanctuary
I am: Monstergod!
Looking for: strapping male hunters!
Partner Preference: [ ] Monsters [X] Humans

Profile: You have seen kings that demand subservience and lords that command you to fight and die for them. But you have never met a god who shone his beatific light upon you. I am seeking a strong, spirited hunter who wishes to be dominated by a monster who is truly worthy of assuming the world's throne. That throne is missing proper cushioning and if you prove yourself worthy, you could be the cushion that your god seats himself upon.
But if you wish to prove yourself worthy of such an honour, you must first defeat me in combat! A battle of wits, a meeting of minds, shared over only the finest steak, and incense-infused candles gifted by my many worshippers. Pass that round and you may be deemed suitable to demonstrate your more physical capabilities. Be warned, I do not suffer those who cannot prove their strength! Only one who is capable of dominating the very god of the heavens himself will be judged to be fit to assume the role of his consort! But do not think that I am seeking a personal worshipper to wait upon my claws. When one is possessed of boundless energy and limitless skill as I, our days shall be long and filled with the joy of oiled bodies clashing together! My home sits upon the vault of the heavens and I am gifted only with the finest, most luxurious cottons and silks that we may retire to when our bodies are worn and tired. However, let there be no doubt that I take charge in the bedroom as much as I do the arena! Even at that late stage my grasp will be unbreakable and you need not worry that your lord shall leave you to the cold mountain chill.
If you believe yourself worthy of proving your worth then submit a message with a request for challenge and we shall meet in hot-blooded contest!

Likes: Greatswords, Hammers, muscular gentlemen, spirited wrestling contests, Minegardian poetry
Dislikes: female wyverns, male wyverns, hunters with small weapons, humans bringing up my insipid phase from far too long ago I assure you I am no longer that black cla

[There are twelve photos, all showing off either Shag's broad chest or muscular tail or both. More than one features him with his forelegs and wing-arms extended as he stands on his hind legs. There's a black bar along his abdomen but one photo shows an edge of pink just under halfway down the bar.]


Tzitzi-Ya-Ku

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What human-specific fetishes would monsters have? Like, they would consider claw fetishes weird but find foot fetishes hot

>"Your penis!"
>First it was, 'no way, dude, I'm not that kind of monster!'
>Then it was, 'c'mon, Anon, it's embarrassing!'
>Then, 'I-I don't ask about YOUR crazy monster fetishes...'
>'Wait... you like that?'
>'You LIKE that?!'
>'... Wow... I-I could do... Uh, never mind!'
>'No, you're just gonna laugh at me...'
>And finally, back to Kiki fidgeting with her claws and quirking her iridescent crests up and down nervously after blurting out two words that left you reeling, both physically and mentally.
>A Barroth in a booth opposite you two gives her a dirty look but that may just be the mud around his eyes.
>The rest of the mixed monster-human bar either didn't hear or doesn't care.
>Or maybe they're just as used to Kiki as you are, now.
>As for you? You look down into your mug of half-drank beer and consider what your friend's just said.
>She's got the hots for human cocks.
>They're fine, sure, but fetish-worthy?
>Either you've taken too long to reply or she's having second thoughts but whatever it is, Kiki lets out a loud groan and flops her head down onto the table, making the mugs and plates shudder.
>For a tzitzi-ya-ku who likes to wear such scandalous monster clothing, she's being kind of reserved about this.

"My penis?"
>Saying that, you don't look back up at her. You're sure you wouldn't be able to say those words if you met her eyes.
>The nervous scratching of claws against wood already makes you feel bad enough.
>"No, not yours..." Kiki moans miserably. "I-I mean- n-not that there's anything wrong with yours! Not that I'd know! I'm just- I- It's..."
>There's another thump from what you assume is Kiki pounding her head into the table again.
>"Can I start over?"
>Now there's a tone of voice you haven't heard from her in a long time - an awful mix of anxiety and... fear.
>Looking back up, she has her crests extended but folded down over her eyes.

"If you don't wanna talk about it, we can just drop it."
>"No," she moans, "you're always gonna know now and you're gonna think I'm weird if I don't explain."
>You wouldn't think she's weird!
>She is kinda weird as far as monsters go, what with the way she acts like a young city woman, flaunting her stylish outfits, but it's a weird that's seen you spend a lot of time around her because of.
>"Have you ever..." Kiki mumbles, barely lifting her crests from her eyes to turn them towards you, "seen a wyvern's... y'know..."
>Oh, now she's getting shy about saying it?

"Big, fat, throbbing banana?"
>Like a flash (just not that kind), Kiki whips her head up and glares at you.
>"Oh, my gog, Anon! You can't just say that! What if someone heard?"
>Nope, no use.
>Can't keep your shit-eating grin contained.
>The term was something of a joke among humans which, once monsters got word of, was publicly seen as an incredibly indecent thing to say.
>Privately, you'd heard some ask you to say it to them.
>And while her crests retract a bit but not all the way, Kiki does give you a smile.
>"Okay, okay, you made your point."

"Seriously, though," you say, picking up your mug, "human penises?"
>You make sure to lower your voice a little on that last bit and Kiki leans closer to you, licking her lips.
>"Seriously, human penises."
>She is serious, sitting there looking intently at you.
>Before scoffing and grabbing a clawful of those breaded kelbi bites.
>Kiki tosses them into her mouth and chews for a moment, looking like she's considering something before she swallows.
>"It's like... okay, have you ever actually, really seen a wyvern's?"
>Yes.
>Back when you were a novice hunter, fresh from the Academy, an admittedly handsome older wyvern took you under his wing (literally and metaphorically) and helped you get settled into your Guild duties.
>That was your first taste of things.
>And far from the last.
>So you give Kiki a nod and decide to save the stories regarding the depth of your experience for another time she's sure to better enjoy them.
>"Okay, so, you know they're almost all internal. Like, the scales around the slit are kinda soft and sensitive but the cock's all tucked away in there most of the time."
>You nod again.

"Yeah, I know about it. Makes sense when you're flying, or walking over lava, or whatever."
>"Exactly," she says, grabbing another clawful of food. "So you don't actually see them unless a monster's aroused, y'know? I mean, if he takes you home or you take him home and you fool around or he keeps it in long enough for you to be able to have a little fun coaxing it out of him."
>Kiki stops herself by jamming the pieces of spicy breadcrumbed cheese into her mouth, only for her eyes to fall shut and a small groan to rise in her throat.
>She'd been a big fan of that southern spicy food ever since she first tried it.
>But considering the subject matter she'd just been discussing, the noises she's making are... not exactly filling your mind with thoughts of monster cocks.
>She gazes down to the bowl but continues talking for the moment.
>"Anyway! My point is that there's this really clear line between when a monster's aroused and when he's not aroused, y'know? Cock in? He's thinking about literally anything else other than you. Cock out? It's showtime, baby!"
>She bares her teeth in a monstrous grin and you do the same, glad to see her spirits returning.
>"But human penises..."
>And just like that, she's turning quiet again.
>"They're outside you. All the time."
>You take up a grilled piece of gargwa to take some of your attention off her, while you turn it over in your hands, letting it cool a bit more.

"Yeah but it's not like we're hard all the time."
>Come to think of it, you've never seen a monster cock flaccid. Can they even do that?
"And we wear clothes, too, so you don't see them."
>"I know, I know! But sometimes the clothes you wear? They just show off that you're out there."
>She starts tapping two of her claws together, looking down as you look up at her.
>"And, um, some of those magazines about humans... T-That Tama told me about! I don't own any! He just loaned them to me!"
>You take a great big bite out of your gargwa leg to stop yourself from grinning at her. Also the mouthful of food means you can't run your mouth off.
>"Well, uh, some of them have these pictures of humans in like... pants with no, um, crotch on them so it shows things off and the humans are just doing ordinary things, y'know? Like cooking or reading or whatever and /some/ monsters think it's really hot that humans just have their cocks flopping around between their legs /all/ the time..."
>Nope. Can't do it.
>Best you can do is choke on your food in an attempt to stop yourself from laughing.
>The mental image of some dude lounging on a couch in crotchless pants while a monster leers over the picture like it's the hottest thing in the world is priceless!
>"Gah! Anon, here!"
>Kiki pushes over her own, much larger, mug of beer seeing as you've drained your own and you have to awkwardly lift it and try not to empty it over your face to take a sip.
>Poor thing looks over at you so fretfully.
>"This was a stupid idea, I should never have said anything..."
>You cough a few more times to clear your throat but your friend just continues looking at you.

"Hey, c'mon," you say a bit hoarsely, patting your chest. "I'm learning more about monster culture."
>"Anon..."
"What? You should see the mags humans have about monsters!"
>Surprisingly, Kiki perks up a little and shows genuine interest.
"But we're talking about monster mags."
>She narrows her eyes.
>"Only if we talk about human mags after."
>In turn, you roll your eyes (good-naturedly) but still nod.
>Kiki takes a long, slow breath and nods back to you.
>"Okay, well... It's not just about the clothes you wear." Her eyes slowly fall away from yours and if you didn't know any better, you'd think the scales around her eyes darken. "It's just... /knowing/ your anatomy. But knowing that when a cock's out it means arousal. So, like, is my human friend turned on by me? Or is he just really good at controlling it? Or does he want me to rub him to check?"
>She takes the bowl of kelbi bites in her claws and taps at it.
>"And yeah, you know how human anatomy is but it's the fetish. It's letting yourself think that he's out and proud because he wants you to guess. Even in public, like it's just a little secret for the two of you. Only it's bigger than that, it's every male human. It's like the entire city is turned on by you! O-Or humans are so horny and ready to go all the time that you could find yourself hunted down a dark alley or you could bump into one and feel his cock against your scales, even through his clothes, or maybe he'd cut the fabric on your scales by accident and it'd flop out just waiting for a soft, warm, wet monster to rub herself up against it and show him that you can be just as ready to go as he is!"
>By now she's practically panting. Looking directly at you. Although her eyes flick down to the table, at what you can imagine is just the right angle for them to bore holes through the wood to where you're sitting.
>"At any moment, a human could brush up against you and you'd feel it. Or... Or you go down to the beach. Where they're all wearing those really tight little things that don't even try to hide it any more."
>And starting to lean over the table towards you, her hot breath that smells of spices wafting across your face as she speaks.
>"Or he's sitting across from you, eating. W-With his cock right there under the table, not even tucked away inside a slit, just sitting there like he doesn't care you're in public together and anyone could see that he's like that when he looks at you. And even if they don't see it, they know it. They know it's there. Ready for action."
>... Maybe the food's a little too spicy for her.


Vaal Hazak

=============================================

If monsters had dating profiles, what would they look like?

-WARNING! THIS PROFILE CONTAINS SENSITIVE CONTENT! DO YOU WISH TO VIEW IT?-
[YES] [BACK]

Name: Vaal Hazak
Location: Volcano
I am: Agony
Looking for: A young man full of life
Partner Preference: [ ] Monsters [X] Humans

Profile: When one reaches the point where one becomes an Older Dragoness, one is disposed to take on certain appetites. A life may be well lived even if one has made mistakes and errors in judgement in choosing one's partners in the past. Especially if one has been taken advantage of by certain Elder Dragons. No matter. The home lies empty and quiet, free from the sounds of those who might be worthy of inhabiting it. Yet in their foolish desires, those wyverns might teach a younger lady that pleasure and pain, like water and lava, can mix to create something new. Rapture and anguish are separated by only a thin line, after all. Yet one finds... I find myself with too many hours with which to fill and not enough company to fill them with. Monsters tire me, as does their unwillingness to provide a wyvern such as myself with what she needs at this point in her life. I have seen many Hunters upon this island and how they throw themselves into danger over and over, submitting themselves to pain and torment gladly.
I would ask you to consider if you are such a Hunter. Perhaps there is something about that danger that calls you to. The rake of claws across your chest, the bite of fangs into your shoulder, tails constricting about your legs. I'm sure, for you, the thrill is in no small part in inflicting such devious punishments upon the monsters you hunt. I have seen, also, the expertise with which Hunters ensnare and tie up their quarry. The delight on faces. That is what I offer you, dear Hunter. My home is away from others because you enjoy the thrill of the chase just as I do. This island may be our hunting grounds where we prowl for each other and set snares. If you have longed to show up the fools in the Guild and demonstrate that an Older Dragoness can indeed be captured, then by all means grab your shock traps and your ropes and I will lead you on the grandest chase! Do not think my age means I cannot keep up; bring your energy drinks and mega potions, or you may just find yourself being drained of your very essence~

Likes: The broad side of Greatswords, tying you up, tying me down, being put in my place, Dundorman wine
Dislikes: Weaklings, uncultured swine, monsters who run in fear, unwillingness to provide proper aftercare

[There aren't that many photos of Vaal. The first is just her sitting on a beautifully patterned blanket one the Volcano's beach with a glass of what looks like wine in one claw and her glowing orange eyes peering out from under her crimson veil with her lips curled back in a smirk. There's a number of necklaces hanging down over her chest with Guild insignia amulets - obviously made to look like trophies. Another photo shows a mannqeuin with a suit of armour on it with Vaal coiling her tail around the waist and wearing a grin. The last photo in her list, of all things, shows her lying on a bone-patterned blanket, with thick crimson ropes about her body including two lines that converge between her hind legs to strategically cover her slit. Doesn't do anything about the ball-gag in her snout or the pleading look in her eyes.]

=============================================

what is the best veil material to gift to a vaal? asking for a friend.

It depends. You know your friend better than anyone but from my own experience, some like to blend in while others, once they get a taste of human fashion, love nothing more than to stand out from the crowd.
Let's say it's the former: I once met a Vaal who was napping by a tree. She had this beautiful patterned satin robe over her body that looked like a mix of pale tree bark with darker spots like knots that were clearly meant to be a hint to her darker scales underneath it. Over her head, she had this embroidered silk veil that matched the cherry blossoms and it was almost like she just blended in perfectly. Even had these specially made pink sunglasses. Thing is, it looked good even when she walked.
For the reverse? You can get pretty creative, too, but I think cotton or linen are good choices because a lot of Vaals are quite sensitive to sunlight and heat. Some do prefer to go for traditional shades of red with a few liking orange. Once saw one wearing green, though, and it was made kind of like a hoodie. Once he stepped indoors, he flicked the hood back with his wingtalons.
Just, y'know, see what she usually wears; would she like tassels? A fur lining? Maybe a leather strip around the collar?

Personally? I'd go for cotton. It's light, soft, and you can get a colour that'll really make your friend's eyes pop so they'll feel confident. And make sure no matter what material you do get, try to get a cotton lining because it feels really good against their scales.
Oh and make sure it has a clasp on the chin; Vaals have trouble fixing it so you'll have to do that for your friend which will coincidentally allow you to get close to whisper to them. I don't wish to spill any secrets but I've heard from a little bird that many of them find whispering quite... enticing.


Velkhana

=============================================

When the hunter won’t hold your claw

>"It's because you're afraid, isn't it?"
"What?"
>"You're afraid of other monsters and people seeing us together!"
"I don't-"
>"I'm a queen, you know! The Queen of the Hoarfrost Reach!"
"Yeah, I kn-"
>"If anything I should be the one who doesn't want others to see me courting a mere peasant!"
"Hey, that's not-"
>"Yet here I am, unworthy of one measly little claw hold..."
"It's not-"
>"Maybe I want people to know I have someone in my life, did you think of that?"
"I'm always-"
>"And maybe I'd like how it'd feel to have my boyfriend holding my claw as we walk through the forest!"
"But-"
>"But oh no, not the Ice Queen! She doesn't even have feelings!"
"No, that-"
>"Well I have some news for you, hunter: I do! And right now those feelings are hurt!"
"I'm sor-"
>"I moved all the way here to be with you! I had to appoint that idiot, Banbaro, vicereine to oversee the Reach while I spend all my time with a boyfriend who... who can't even touch my poor, lonesome little claw..."
"That's not fai-"
>"Well I'm not sure I care to be with you right now! If... I-If this is how you're going to treat me, then-"
>smooch
>"... You kissed me!"

"Yeah?"
>"You... W-What was that for?"
"Sweetheart, I don't hold your claw because it's freezing. I never said anything because I know you're self-conscious about that sort of thing, okay?"
>"... What?"
"Yeah. I wanted to get your claws fitted for gloves or something so I could hold them."
>"Oh..."
"But if it's upsetting you this much then I guess we can try to work something out."
>"Well I... I-I can just raise the temperature in my claw..."
"... You can do that?"
>"Yes? I don't have to freeze it."
"And you wouldn't mind?"
>"No! Not for you! I love you!"
"And you never... forget it."
>"D-Does that mean you'll hold my claw?"
"Yes, my queen... I'll hold your claw."
>"Eee-he-he! Goodie!"
"By the way, can you heat up other parts of your body without harm?"
>"Of course! Why?"
"I'll let you know tonight."
>"What-... O-Oh my...~"


MULTIPLE/MISCELLANEOUS

=============================================

Kushala/Velkhana

[A video of Kushala and Velkhana sitting side by side]

>One of the great joys of what the humans called the Elder's Recess was how the wind would clasp the crystals, at this high point, in its icy claws and play them like an instrument.
>Sometimes he came here just to shut his eyes and listen to the sound. More often, these days, he brought the hunter to experience it. To sit by his side. To listen.
>But those steps that advanced upon him from near the edge of the wide, flat area he alighted upon were not a human's.

"Velkhana."
>His head languidly turned to one side and took in the sight of her caught in the briefest moment of surprise.
>She paused and gave him a crooked little smile.
>"Still unwilling to use my name?"
>An icy breath shot from Kentu's nostrils as he turned aside from her.

"The last time I used it, you said you never wished to see me again... Hela."
>More steps accompanied by the almost-hum of the wind upon icy-blue scales.
>Even through his own scales he felt how the air cooled about him and he didn't need to turn to see Hela lowering her body by his side.
>The whole world was her demesne.
>"Yes. Well."
>It had been a long, long time since he'd heard her speak so quietly. So considerately.
>"That time is behind us."
>He could feel her eyes upon him. The warm gold was always such a strange contrast to her, like they were the only view into the heat and anger that her scales tried to hide.
>But when he turned to meet them, he found they weren't the steaming, churning magma of the caverns but the crackling fire that his hunter would sit by and brew their tea over.
>"Isn't it?"
>He still wanted to say something, some rejoinder of the type they used to trade after they spent an afternoon coupling.
>She was right, however, it was a different time that now slept in the past.

"Why are you here, Hela?"
>Was it the question itself that caught her off guard or the quiet tone he voiced it with?
>Whatever the case, it was she, surprisingly, who turned away from him and gazed out over the smouldering horizon fed by the boiling caverns below.
>Her mouth open and shut a couple of times and her wings shuffled against her back.
>It made Kentu's metallic scales whine along his tail as they vibrated with curiosity.
>And when she spoke once more, her head wasn't turned back to him. Not fully. Just one of those golden eyes peering into his.
>"I heard you were being hunted."
>Was that... No, he was sure he simply misheard or misread what that tone she used was.
>Besides, it was no great secret. More and more, word was getting around about the humans and how many monsters found themselves 'hunted'. Many were the times he heard Lana's warbling laughter from the caverns as she dived about and around and over her own hunter.
>As well as other, less innocent sounds.
>Luckily, his own hunter pursued an elder dragon whose command of the wind ensured only they heard their own noises.
>"You are!"
>Lost in remembrance of yesterday's hunt, he hadn't even noticed when Hela's snout came close enough to his that they almost touched.
>It brought certain memories to the surface and Kentu found his long neck winding back from hers.

"Yes."
>He said.
"Well..."
>Other memories supplanted the poorer ones. Memories of yesterday and their parting, and of how his hunter would be away for some time on Guild-related business but would return.
>Kentu's heart had felt familiar icy tendrils snake their way around it but for a different reason. Would his hunter find another monster? Perhaps an impressive Alatreon who commanded all the elements? They mostly made their home where his hunter was headed, after all.
>But with just a touch of a warm hand to his cool metal scales, all of that just... melted away.
>If his hunter had stayed by his side this long, what were the chances he would leave now? No, he would return and they would dance through the air together when he did so.
>Perhaps, if Gog smiled upon them, his hunter would even say yes to a trip to the hot springs in the north together.
>"You look happy."
>Hela's snout was still in the same spot it had been and her eyes watched his closely.
>"When you gaze out towards the horizon like that, you look so happy. Not like…" A gentle, cool breath wafted over his own snout before Hela turned away from him. "You're thinking about your hunter, yes?"
>It wasn't a question that needed him to answer but he did so all the same.

"I often find myself doing so."
>In another wyvern, her sigh might've sounded gruff and hoarse but everything Hela did, Kentu thought, was calculated to be as elegant and refined as possible.
>"Still... it wasn't all bad, was it?" She turned back to him, a strange look in her eyes. "Us?"
>The time she made a snowball with her tail and hurled it at him, cackling uproariously as he stared back at her, flatly.
>Pinning her against the wall of the glacier only for her to smirk and remark upon how unfitting for a royal it was.

"There was good in it. In us."
>But his mind still turned the feeling of a warm body against his own over and over and over.
>A warm body and an impossibly massive blanket it had lugged all the way out to this rocky place for the two of them to enrobe themselves in.
>A claw touched his and somehow it didn't feel quite so cold against his own.
>"Tell me about the good in you."
>Yes.
>What was between them, now slept contentedly in the past.

“His name is Anonymous and we met…”

===================================

Lagiacrus/Mizutsune

>Lagi recoiled in disgust from the hunter's touch, struggling to break free of the silkbindings that clung to her body.
>Water still rippled from her after her breaching the surface but the very last thing she'd expected was a smack from a human followed quickly by those treacherous bugs holding her in place.
"Gah! D-Don't you dare, filthy human!"
>Her tail lashed against the ground and kicked up muddy water. She caught Mizu recoiling beside her, the edges of his lips curling down as he struggled against his own bindings not to be touched by the filthy liquid.
>"Keep it up and I'll put down a shock trap."
>Such insolence!
>She let out a gurgling growl and made to snap at the hand that was inching ever closer to her snout only to clamp down on thin air and be left with laughter filling her with shame and anger.

"That's all you have, tricks and traps! Dishonourable human!"
>"All's fair in love and war."
>Oh, that sing-song voice made the shell shockers on her back spark! Doubly so when she caught the human beginning to walk to one side.
>She could practically feel his hand against her scales already, warm bare skin trailing against her cool, wet body and it... it...
>Her tail started to reflexively lift before she slammed it back down and a howl of outrage came from her side.
>Lagi hissed at Mizu, narrowing her eyes.
>Turning to one side, she caught the beginning of a scowl on his face as well as another look that made the tip of her tail shake.
>They had to play this just right if they wanted to get through it.
>She would remain strong, unyielding; nothing else was befitting the queen of the oceans!
>And that queen was sure to raise her head and glare down at the diminutive hunter that came back up to her front.
>Every little movement of her legs was met with resistance from the silkbinding and it made her heart race; at the mercy of this small and frail creature. Shameful!
>"You're a fine specimen."
>In spite of herself, Lagi drew her head up to its full height and looked down imperiously at the human. Her right foreleg twitched and the silkbinding pulled it neatly back.

"What are you going to do to us, hunter?"
>She spat the words down at him, knowing full well the fate that awaited her. But she wanted to hear it from him. She wanted him to dirty himself by admitting those filthy words.
"Hm? A pair of monsters at your mercy, oh yes, I've heard the things you do."
>Mizu whined beside her but she didn't so much as glance at him, her mind was too full of thoughts that tumbled down onto her tongue and out from there.
"I know all about your 'shock traps' and how you find ways to use them against monsters like me!"
>A shudder ran down through her tail to the tip that shivered in the air.
"Say it! Admit to your deviancy!"
>The hunter... the hunter had the utter gall to smirk!
>At her!
>"All in good time, my dear."
>As if he were a felyne, the hunter stalked over to Mizu and the white wyvern looked like he was struggling to both pull away and bring his head closer to the muck-covered hunter. Sloshing about in the muddy swampwater had covered most of his body.
>"Now that I have you both where I want you, I think it might be time to get a little 'down and dirty'-"
>"Ah! Bomberry! B-BOMBERRY!"
>Mizu started squirming about, whining and whimpering against his bindings.
>It left Lagi to huff loudly and turn her head to him once more.

"Really? After just that? Hadn't we gone over this?"
>At least he had the good sense to lower his head in shame, she thought to herself.
>And the hunter just put his arms around Mizu's snout! Whose side was he on anyway?
>"The hunter just polished my scales this morning!" he squeaked out and Lagi fought hard to stop a growling laugh bubbling up in her.
>It was almost worth missing out on this fun to see her friend make such noises.
>"Alright," the hunter said with a huff. "How about we try this again? And this time, no... uh, muckraking?"
>To her side, Mizu nodded his head repeatedly.
>"Y-Yes, please! I'd much rather we did this back at the Guildhall, anyway..."
>Lagi sighed heavily.
>This was going to be a long hunt...

=============================================

Miscellaneous

##################################################

>Guild PSAs on the dangers of monster courting
Do they have a D.A.R.E. equivalent on why monsterfucking's "not cool for school"?

>be hunter
>forced to attend a stupid mandatory M.A.R.E. (monster abuse resistance education) meeting
>everyone already knows monsterfucking has risks and these cringy-ass presentations aren't going to convince anyone to change their mind
>once everyone's seated some dumb "how do you do fellow hunters"-level hiphop music starts blasting from a cheap-sounding hunting horn
>a group of people run out, all dressed in various monster disguise armor sets, acting like they're Gog's gift to coolness
>along with a Jagras dressed up in a t-shirt and backwards-ballcap - obviously their "mascot", who clearly looks like it would rather be anywhere else right now
>the feeling's mutual, little guy
>"WHAT'S WIGGLIN', MUH GIGGIS" the head dudebro type in a Jaggi set yells, clearly expecting a roaring cheer in response
>nothing
>you're about ready to turn inside out from secondhand embarrassment
>"So all you cool felynes goin' out there, huntin' monsters, keepin' us all safe, that's pretty COOL, amiright? But tell me, any of you guys ever run into a monster that made you go 'OH NO'?!"
>only a quiet cough in response
>"Well me and my pack here, we think that kind of stuff is NO GOOD. If a monster comes onto you in a way that makes you go OH NO, you tell the Guild, and you farcaster the heck out of there!"
>holy shit where's a hunting knife you'll end it right here and now you swear

##################################################

You... DID remember to get something nice for your monsterfu, didn't you Anon?
No, kisses don't count, you should be giving them kisses all the time anyway. Going down between their hindlegs doesn't count, eitherm, you should be doing that regularly, too.

Okay, so you forgot to get your monsterfu something but not all is yet lost. You have this week to pull it together and if you work fast and keep your cool you can still do it. But the cost is high and you need to be prepared to follow through. You ready?
Here's what you do: first off, you go to Loc Lac. I know, I know, people will say you have to go to Dundorma but listen, the ores and gems they get off the back of Jhen Mohran is the best you'll find in all the world. I'm talking about jewellery obviously. You might not be able to get a ring because some monsters just can't wear one easily and others may not like the feel of one. You know your monsterfu best and what they like; rings, earrings, bangles, necklaces, whatever - I'm sure you have some idea about what I'm getting at here. Get one with a sapphire inset to show you're serious.
Now, next thing you need to do is book an airship to Pokke. A good one. The kind of one that has a bedroom with silk sheets and good wine/sake. Spend the trip up there pampering your beloved monster. And when you get there? Load up and head straight out to the Snowy Mountains. Go to the peak, because the atmosphere up there is so rare you can see the sky perfectly.
When it gets close to midnight, you present your monsterfu with the piece of jewellery you got for them and you tell them: as the Sapphire Star leads the way for the guild, so too have the stars led your way to them. You give this gift in remembrance of your fortune but more than that, because from the last year with them, you know you don't want another without them. As you warm them on this snowy peak, so too do they warm your heart in this cold world.
And when they ask? Why, you had it all planned.

##################################################

Low rank hunters belong to low rank monsters! How else would they get their first time?

>ywn sneak into the campsite and give a low rank hunter his first time before he even steps out onto his first quest
>ywn pay off the Guild authorities not to tell the hunter that there's a fearsome elder dragon lurking in the area
>ywn wait until he's got his back turned, poking at the fire while he fixes himself a hot drink
>ywn be the only hot drink he needs to stave off the cold on his quest and forevermore
>ywn squeak when your swishing tail catches his attention and he turns around
>ywn jump when he screams
>ywn scream too
>ywn scrabble to calm him down before he passes out from fright
>ywn wince as he does so anyway and only narrowly misses falling right into the fire
>ywn pick up his unconscious body and bring him over to the tent
>ywn watch him lying there just breathing peacefully
>ywn giggle with just your head poking through into the tent and laugh harder when your hot breath makes him moan and start stirring
>ywn give him your biggest, friendliest smile when he comes to
>ywn feel it disappear when he visibly tries not to scream
>ywn stretch your neck further in and just talk to him
>ywn explain that out here, at the edge of the world where there's only the ice and the snow and monsters, the Guild doesn't tell hunters but they get sent out here to see if they're good enough for certain special assignments
>ywn bat your eyelids at him and tell him that you think he's one of those particular hunters who has what it takes and the Guild told you to test him out
>ywn damn the consequences for what may come of this
>ywn watch him debate what you said, weighing up a talking monster against the possibility of the Guild punishing him for failing a quest so spectacularly
>ywn whisper, in your sultriest voice, that you won't be long and he won't risk failing his quest but that doesn't mean it won't be memorable
>ywn walk away bow-legged and with a newfound taste for young, inexperienced hunters
>ywn start posting your own low rank quests


Edit
Pub: 27 Jun 2023 19:46 UTC
Edit: 26 Apr 2024 19:11 UTC
Views: 1350