Reclaiming Our Love, Egyptian Expedition!

Napoleon: Renjakuno Hatsumi
Josephine: Fudeshima Shigure
Scholar: Karasumori Daikoku
Sphinx: Yorozu Iruru
Loyal Adjutant: Toneri Nikako

Act One

"Going to Egypt."

When a letter with those words arrived from Napoleon, his wife Josephine sighed "Again..." in exasperation, while her heart leaped at the thought of her husband being away for an extended period.

The purpose of this expedition was to restore France's power, deal a blow to their enemy Britain, and gather intelligence about Egypt. Since Napoleon and his fellow soldiers lacked knowledge of history and culture, a scholar was to accompany them.

"Your Excellency, a scholar has sent a request to join the investigation. What shall we do?"

"Let him do as he pleases...really, we're not going there for fun. Isn't there some way we can find a reason to refuse...?"

However, Napoleon was displeased with the scholar's accompaniment. Prioritising battle, he believed that protecting a civilian scholar with no power would hinder potential conflicts that could arise at any time in Egypt.

"How can I get Napoleon to agree...I know! Perhaps I could ask his wife, Lady Josephine, to intercede for me?"

The scholar, who desperately wanted to accompany Napoleon for his research, realised that Napoleon didn't think well of someone like him. Taking a preemptive approach, he sent a letter to Napoleon's wife, Josephine.

Josephine, who wished for her husband's prolonged absence so she could enjoy more time with her lover, sent Napoleon a letter on cute stationery just as the scholar had requested in his letter:

"Darling, I would love to see the Sphinx's nose in person, just once."

Act Two

"Ah, Josephine! What a precious wife I have...! Gentleman, please do conduct your research. If there's any support I can provide, just say the word!"

Napoleon, who had been anxious that Josephine's feelings might be drifting away from him, was elated by his beloved wife's request. He completely changed his tune and gladly accepted the accompaniment of the scholar who was knowledgeable about the Sphinx.

And so, Napoleon and the scholar set off for Egypt.

"My wife Josephine, who gave new meaning to this journey...she must be praying for my safety even now...how heartbreaking it is."

In Egypt, Napoleon was thinking of Josephine waiting for his return. Though he understood it was unavoidable as a soldier, his heart ached knowing that his constant expeditions left her feeling lonely.

"Darling...please, come home soon. Lord, please protect my husband..."

Josephine, thinking of him, gazing out the window and shedding tears. Josephine, praying earnestly for his safety upon her bed.

"Ah! I shall return to your arms with this body unharmed! And when that day comes, I shall present you with what you desire, as your husband!"

"For that purpose as well, Professor, I ask for your assistance!"

Just thinking about it made Napoleon's chest tighten. For Josephine's sake, he absolutely had to bring back the Sphinx's nose! Napoleon passionately told the scholar this many times.

Meanwhile, Josephine in Paris was showing the letter Napoleon had sent to her lover, laughing and saying, "Isn't he strange?"

Josephine didn't even know what the Sphinx was.

"I wonder if the nose is long...or maybe like a pig's? Perhaps it's even taller than me."

"Now, don't sulk. Right now, I only have eyes for you."

Thinking such thoughts, Josephine kissed her lover.

Act Three

"That is the one called the guardian deity of this land-the Sphinx! Your Excellency!"

"Hmm...a foreign general. How long has it been?"

With the scholar's help, Napoleon finally faced the Sphinx. He showed no fear before the enormous monster that appeared before him.

"Now, foreign general. Answer my riddle. In the morning it has four legs-"

"My adjutant, Robetsini! Target the Sphinx's nose, aim your cannon! Blow off that creature's nose!!!"

The Sphinx, as it had always done, began posing a riddle. However, Napoleon paid no heed to the riddle-solving and ordered his subordinate to blow off the Sphinx's nose.

"Y-Your Excellency. But..."

"What are you doing! Hurry up!!!"

"W-wait, wait, wait! You-what did you just say!? Blow off my nose!? Are you sane, foreign general!?"

His subordinates were terrified of the monster and couldn't move a muscle. Napoleon continued shouting orders even louder.

It was the Sphinx who panicked. Not to be outdone, it loudly posed riddles to Napoleon, but the attack commands didn't cease.

("This is bad...this is really bad. At this rate, my nose will really be...I need to use my wits somehow...that's it!")

The Sphinx, sensing danger that Napoleon wouldn't listen to reason, racked its brains to prevent it's nose from being blown off.

"T-to blow off my nose, you need a secret incantation."

"A secret incantation!? What's that!?"

"The incantation is inscribed on a stone tablet sleeping somewhere in Egypt." ...The Sphinx spoke this lie it had just thought up.

"Grrr, how frustrating...all troops, retreat!"

Napoleon, believing the lie, ordered his subordinates to retreat. He swore to the Sphinx that he would discover the stone tablet and return to blow off its nose.

Act Four

Napoleon was forced to retreat. Over the course of several days, he traveled through the foreign land with the scholar. In the midst of this, he finally discovered a stone pillar with some kind of writing at a temple in the port town of Rosetta.

"This must be the secret incantation! ...But what does it say?"

However, what was written on the stone pillar were characters he had never seen before. He couldn't recite them like this, which meant he couldn't blow off the Sphinx's nose.

"Professor, this is your moment! Quickly, decipher these characters-"

"N-N-N-Napoleon-sama! This is the discovery of the century!!!"

"Wh-what? Is that so...?"

Napoleon ordered the scholar to decipher the characters, but the scholar made a huge fuss, saying this was the discovery of the century! He told Napoleon how precious this find was.

"Oh...is that so? This is a discovery of the century that will remain in history? Kukukuku... which means I have now made my mark in history as the pioneer of this discovery of the century!!"

"Yes, yes! Without a doubt! A great hero whose name will remain in human history-in ancient times, your name would be included in mythology!"

"Wahahahaha! Stop it, stop it! I'm merely a minor noble from Corsica. But from now on, I'll be spoken of as a pioneer!"

Gradually enchanted by the stone pillar due to the scholar's excited state, Napoleon forgot all about the Sphinx and decided to take the inscribed portion back to France as a stone tablet.

"Listen, Josephine, this is a discovery of the century more precious than the Sphinx's nose! It's 'my' discovery!"

Napoleon desperately tried to promote the stone tablet, which would be named the Rosetta Stone, so that his wife wouldn't be disappointed in him for not bringing back the Sphinx's nose.

"Hehe...is that so? Your stories are always interesting."

Josephine listened to his story with a polite smile while being captivated by the beauty of the roses blooming in the garden.

Aftertalk

Renjakuno Hatsumi
I never expected to play a role where I'd be led around by Shigure...hehe, it's a refreshing feeling.

Yorozu Iruru
I was in a role where I was constantly being pushed around by Hatsumi though.

Karasumori Daikoku
That brat...my Master's wife? And she's having an affair...? Ugigigigi, I'm so jealous! How improper! Have some shame!

Fudeshima Shigure
We're talking about the roles!! Why is Shigure getting scolded!? This has nothing to do with me!!!

Toneri Nikako
Ehehe, it was fun operating the cannon. Come to think of it, this play features the Sphinx just like Oedipus Rex.

Yorozu Iruru
Though it's portrayed completely differently. Who would've thought someone would try to blow off the nose instead of solving the riddle? Of course the Sphinx would be surprised.

Renjakuno Hatsumi
Love is blind, as they say. But after doing a tragedy, this kind of comedy isn't bad either.

Renjakuno Hatsumi
Hehe, you haven't finished wiping off your sweat. My beloved Josephine.

Fudeshima Shigure
What's with the sudden...? Well, I'll say thanks for now. You could devote yourself to Shigure more like Napoleon did, couldn't you, Hatsumi-san?

Karasumori Daikoku
Gununununu...I'm so jealous...