The rough notes, the messy books and scrolls with scribbled thoughts and rough sketches, could only be retrieved from the homes of deceased researchers, often donated by their families who had no idea what else to do with them. After days of searching, he had to call it quits and turn to his final option.
Friday arrived, and so too did the end of another sword class. While everyone else was leaving, Noah approached Valia. "Lady Zodiac, could I speak to you for a minute?"
"Cadet Noah, how can I help you?"
The way she looked at him was different from how she looked at everyone else. He had seen the expression on her face, the glimmer in her eyes when other cadets came up to her. She’d praise and scold them as a teacher would, trying not to treat them as children showing her their finger-paintings. Then, when he’d speak to her, he’d see her raise her chin, not as though looking down on him, but the opposite.
"I’m afraid it’s regarding a sensitive subject, and I’m sorry for bringing it up. I know your brother recently passed, for which you have my heartfelt condolences." He saw the light leave her eyes, but pressed on. "I understand he was a brilliant and powerful magic caster, and reading about him, I can’t help but admire his accomplishments and contributions to the various fields of study. As a likewise pursuer of knowledge, I find myself following in his footsteps, hoping his research can help me develop my own. The problem is that the library is rather scarce on his material. I was hoping that as his sister, you might have his notes and be willing to let me see them."
Valia took a deep, pained breath, and looked into the coming winter breeze. Like the cadets, she wore a leather helmet for protection against the cold, but he could still see her silver hair fluttering like twinkling starlight.
"A word of warning, cadet. Following in the footsteps of dead men is an easy way to end up like them, especially when it comes to magic."
"I’m aware of that, and I’ve been similarly warned before, but I’m asking you because this is important. I know the risks, and I’m prepared to take them. I’m not afraid to die to get my answers."
Valia turned to him. "Death isn’t the only thing for you to be afraid of."
"I know that, believe me."
"It’s one of the few things you’ve said to me that I actually do believe. But this isn’t something I can talk about, and I need you to believe that."
Noah stepped past her. "I believe that you can’t talk about it here and now, but you wish you could."
He didn’t wait for her dismissal and walked away. As he headed back into the academy, he glanced at a tree standing near the training field. Perched in its branches was an owl, watching him. It was there for every class, morning and afternoon, and he suspected it had been present since the beginning of the year. He had noticed it a few times in the past, but not until he had daily sword training did he become suspicious.
With his magic, he could see the swirl of its mana, the same kind of shimmer he always saw when Cyrilo was in her cat form. It wasn’t a real owl, but a transformed shaman, spying on Valia. With her sharp senses, she was likely aware of it, and if she knew she was under surveillance and not doing anything about it, then that meant the kingdom was behind it. Simply killing the owl could just cause more trouble, but he had a good idea of how to deal with it.
That Saturday, he saw Valia leave the academy, with the owl keeping its distance while not letting her out of its sight. Rather than go after her, Noah went down to the training fields, where the cadets were dueling. There was one in particular he needed, Gideon, and he had just finished a match when Noah approached.
"Hey Gideon, a word?"
"I’m busy. All right, who’s next?" he scoffed before turning to the crowd of cadets, ready to fight and gamble.
"I need a favor. Hear me out, and I’ll make it worth your while."
"Not interested. I said, who’s next!" They hadn’t spoken since Noah left the barracks, so the cold reception was expected.
"I guess that’ll be me then," said Noah, stepping into the ring.
"You’re going to fight me?"
"If it’ll get your attention, sure." Immediately, cadets swarmed the ring to get a good view. Noah’s infamy in battle had reached new heights after his recent bout with Lady Zodiac, so to see him go against Gideon, one of the resident brawlers, was something everyone had only dreamt of. Bets were being exchanged so fast, and by so many people, it was hard to differentiate between individual voices.
"The challenger’s payment?" asked Sir Reyns, supervising the duel.
"Standard fee," replied Noah as he unfastened his sword from his waist and left it behind.
"You’re going to need that," said Gideon.
"I didn’t need it the first time we fought, I won’t need it now." Abandoning his sword opened up a hundred new wagers among the cadets.
Sir Reyns raised his hand. "Both combatants, ready yourselves." Both Noah and Gideon assumed their stances. "Begin!"
Gideon closed the distance instantly, shooting towards Noah and using his momentum to launch a straight kick with the strength of a battering ram. Noah stepped to the side at the last second and replied with a kick of his own, swinging around and striking Gideon’s head with enough force to knock him through the air. He tucked and rolled, getting back to his feet just in time to block Noah’s punch, but not the second or third. Still, his constant battles with Seraph had taught him how to take a punch and keep going, so he brushed off Noah’s hits and countered with his own.
He pursued Noah with a barrage of kicks, almost spinning like a top. Noah continuously moved out of his range, for if he tried to dodge and close in, he’d be targeted by Gideon’s spear-hand jabs, just as fast as they were sharp. Despite his age, he had great talent and skill in combat, and was one of the strongest cadets, even without any weapons or elemental magic. Still, it was a thousand years too soon for him to think he could defeat Noah when it came to hand-to-hand combat.
It was when Gideon was spinning around for yet another kick that Noah acted, grabbing his incoming right leg with one arm and using his other hand to slam his hip with a powerful palm strike. Noah was in perfect range for a jab, but it was all Gideon could do to stagger back. His leg was both numb and stinging, as though it had fallen asleep. Noah’s strike was strong enough to momentarily dislocate his femur, and though it immediately snapped back into place, the joint was throbbing, and he wasn’t sure if he could move with it.
Noah closed in, giving him no time to recover. The blows he unleashed were rapid, either circumventing Gideon’s defenses or hammering right through them. Stomach, kidneys, neck, face, ears; every vulnerable spot was targeted with no discernible pattern, and Gideon was struggling just to stay on his feet. Noah grabbed Gideon’s right knee and pulled it forward, throwing him off balance. He dropped to his left knee, hissing in pain from his wounded leg, and was then silenced by a solid punch to the chin. He fell on his back and didn’t get up, prompting Sir Reyns to end the match.
While the cadets exchanged money, cigarettes, and lemons, two academy healers went to work, patching Gideon up and getting him back on his feet.
"So, are you ready to listen now?" Noah asked.
"Yes, fine," he grumbled.
Noah led him away, where no one would hear them. "I need a favor."
"What kind of favor?"
"The kind of favor only a beastman can do."
"How did you—?!"
"I saw some of your handiwork during the Red Revelries, how you would swoop down and knock people out with powerful kicks. When I fought against you on enrollment day and examined your fighting style, it was easy to put two and two together."
"You knew all this time? Why not tell anyone?"
"Because I don’t care. Or, I don’t care beyond your ability to be useful to me."
"So what? You’re going to tell people about me if I don’t do what you want?"
"Or I could just pay you. No need to be so dramatic."
"Ok, so what’s the favor?"
"What kind of bird can you transform into?"
"An eagle."
"Perfect. Change into your civilian attire and meet me at the front gate."
Noah and Gideon split up and then met at the gate, heading into the city. "Are you going to tell me about this favor or not?" he asked as they walked through the icy streets.
"I need you to find an owl."
"An owl?"
"Yes, and terrorize it. It’ll be perched on top of a roof or a lamppost, but it is here in the city. Fly up above, and when you spot it, make noise and circle overhead, and I’ll follow you. When I whistle, attack the owl. I believe it to be a beastman, so don’t kill it. Just pretend you’re a regular eagle fighting it for territory. Keep it distracted for as long as you can, drive it from the city if you have to, but it has to appear natural. If it transforms, flee."
They stepped into an empty alley where no one could see them, and Gideon cast the transformation spell. Like when Cyrilo transformed, his clothes changed with him, becoming feathers, while his body shrank down and his arms turned into great wings.
"You know, with that spiky red hair of yours, I’m rather surprised you don’t transform into a rooster."
"You know, it’s not a good idea to mock people who can shit on your head from above."
After hearing Cyrilo speak in her cat form, the sound of a human voice coming from the eagle didn’t shock Noah at all. It took some effort in the narrow alley, but Gideon flapped his wings and managed to take to the air. He soared high above the city, taking a moment to savor the rushing air. It had been so long since he had been able to fly, and he had missed it dearly. Sometimes, he felt more at home in the sky than on the ground.
He spotted the owl rather quickly, moving from rooftop to rooftop. Gideon released a piercing cry and circled overhead. Down below, Noah raced through the city to catch up. Running on the icy roads, he nearly fell twice before reaching the owl’s location. He spotted it perched atop a lamppost, and, more importantly, he saw Valia walking through the busy street.
Noah slipped off to the side and gave a loud whistle, loud enough for Gideon to hear it. He swooped down and attacked the owl, flapping his wings, threatening it with his beak and claws, and doing everything he could to intimidate it. It worked, and the owl desperately tried to stand its ground, hissing and making itself look as large as possible. As the two birds fought, Noah approached Valia.
"Lady Zodiac."
She spun around, surprised to see him. "Cadet Noah, what are you doing here?"
"Right now, it’s not "cadet," just "Noah." You said before that we needed to have a serious talk, and now’s the time."
"Sorry, but I’m a bit busy at the moment."
"Your tail isn’t paying attention to you."
Valia looked over to the owl, forced from its perch and chased through the sky by an eagle. "How did you…"
"Does that really matter at the moment? You can either walk away and continue to run your errands until the owl comes back, or you can take advantage of this situation to come with me, and we can have the discussion you know we need to have. Like I said, right now, I’m not a cadet."
Valia bit her lip, but Noah knew she had already made her decision. "Fine. Where to?"
"Covington’s."
"The tea house?"
"We can talk in private there."
"Rumors would spread if someone like me was seen somewhere like that with someone like you."
"They’ll see you, but they won’t see me. Go there and reserve a room. I’ll meet you inside shortly."
The two of them split up, or Valia thought so. As soon as she turned away from Noah, he activated his invisibility and followed her. They arrived at an exquisite manor, similar to the Knight’s Sheath, but with a more respectable clientele. It was essentially a café where men and women would talk over cups of expensive tea and stacks of sweets, with a roaring fire in the fireplace. Everything was kept meticulously clean, with the walls decorated with lavish paintings to match the richness of the building. The butlers and maids served with perfect decorum and etiquette, likewise expected from their customers.
Valia approached the concierge, a well-dressed man with an expertly-arranged combover. "Ah, Lady Zodiac, it had been quite some time, hasn’t it?"
"Indeed it has, Jacob. I found myself needing a break from the cold and the commotion of the streets. Might you have a room where I can enjoy some fresh tea in solitude?"
"For you, My Lady, anything."
She was brought upstairs to an empty room overlooking the nearby buildings. It was cold, but the maid leading her lit a fire in the hearth that warmed the air. The floor was carpeted, the room decorated with art and knick-knacks to use as conversation pieces, and by the window was an ornately-carved table with two matching chairs. A second maid arrived with a cart, topped with a silver tea set and a steaming pot. The dishes and utensils were set up on the spotless tablecloth with perfect precision, as though arranged like puzzle pieces. The first cup was poured, the hot water passing through the fresh tea leaves and filling the room with their delicious fragrance.
"That will be all, thank you," Valia said.
The two maids bowed and departed. Valia was alone in the room, staring into her swirling cup. Rather than take that first sip, she got up from her seat and looked out the window. It was beginning to snow, the first crisp flakes touching the glass. Behind her, she heard a second cup of tea being poured. She didn’t know how to explain it happening, how Noah could be in the room without her sensing his arrival, but at this point, she would have been disappointed if the situation was any different.
"Ah, this is delicious. I’ve always wanted to come here, but kept putting it off."
Valia turned around, seeing him sitting at the table as though everything was completely normal. "I was friends with the original David Covington. He always dreamed of running a place like this, but when I knew him, he was pouring drinks in a dingy tavern that happened to sell tea along with booze. It was his son, David Junior, who managed to elevate the family business to what it is now. He was a genius when it came to business, but was terrible with women, just so awkward. He was always pining after me, and his attempts at flirting were like a dog trying to hump my leg.
His son, David Covington III, wanted to be an adventurer. He was always arguing with his parents about it, claiming he wanted to be like Valon and me. We decided to take him with us on a mission for the kingdom, to show him what the real world was like. A falling boulder broke his leg, he got stabbed twice by a goblin, and nearly died from springburn. He cried tears of joy when he finally returned home and never picked up a sword again. For the best, I suppose, but he was a good cook. He could roast a pig that would knock you off your feet." She sat down at the table and took a sip of tea. "This is his special blend. They haven’t changed it, after all these years."
Outside, the snowfall was increasing.
"Yeah, springburn will do that to you. The whole time he was sick, he was probably trying to think up the perfect flavor that would make him feel better."
"What are we doing here, Noah? I truly hope you didn’t invite me here with illicit intentions."
"Nothing of the sort. Like I said before, I need your brother’s research."
"Unfortunately, it’s all gone."
"If that was all there was to it, you would have told me already. He’s still alive, isn’t he?"
"How did you know?"
"After you refused me, I decided to ask Sir Elyot about him. He told me your brother died, quite unconvincingly. That man wouldn’t last five minutes in a card game. So what’s the real story?"
"Valon… has gone rogue. After a botched magic experiment, he went crazy and just disappeared. I haven’t seen him since."
"What kind of experiment?"
"He was searching for the gods, using the power of Zodiac. Most people believe that the gods watch over us, existing so close to our world but beyond our reach. Valon believed that they were more nomadic, that this world was just a tiny island in a vast ocean of stars, and they followed the currents like colossal whales."
"What is Zodiac?"
"Our ability to draw power from constellations, specifically, constellations in the shape of magic runes. Ten constellations, ten concepts that we each utilize in different forms. For me, it manifests similarly to warrior and monk magic, but more specialized, enhancing my body and weapon skills beyond what other fighters can achieve. Valon can use arcane magic, magic that is similar to the elements, but far more powerful and unique. I told you before about my sensory spell, right? Valon’s version lets him detect and read mana signatures from those around him. It is a power we were born with, but it took centuries for us to cultivate and master.
In Valon’s "star ocean" theory, there were waves that could distort reality…"
"Gravity waves."
"Not just gravity waves. He said there were waves in space and time, whatever that means, even mana waves, washing over endless worlds. His plan was to use one of these waves to boost his sensory powers, to ride it like a bird in an updraft. He predicted when one of these waves would reach our world and spent years planning for it. He believed that if he could combine our powers and use the mana wave to propel his consciousness, it would let him see farther than he ever could alone. I went along with it. I always believed in Valon, always supported him.
Then things went horribly wrong…"
It was a clear spring night, and Valia and her brother were standing on the roof of the royal observatory, a facility he helped build. A sheet had been laid out, made from hair, skin, and other materials gathered from the most powerful and unique monsters in all the land. The materials and species were *****ed based on their magic conductivity, and its conception had taken years of precise calculations to ensure that everything was perfectly chosen and used. Inscribed on it was a large magic circle, one of the most ornate and complex ever conceived and made entirely of avenium. The monetary value of this setup was incomprehensible, but it was all worth it.
"Are you sure tonight’s the night?" Valia asked.
Valon closed his eyes and took a deep breath, as though savoring a rich fragrance. He had the same deep complexion as his sister, with the same silver eyes and hair, and while many men ogled Valia, so too did many women lust for Valon. Despite his magic abilities, he was a mighty and skilled warrior in his own right.
"Oh yes, it is coming with the power of a billion sunrises. The spell isn’t even active, but already, I can feel it, the pulse of the universe."
"I can’t feel anything."
"You wouldn’t. Very few probably could. If my calculations are correct, this is merely a ripple, but compared to our tiny world… We might as well be worms, slithering underground while a hurricane rages. We are simply too small to be affected. The time has come; we have to be quick."
They both sat down within the magic circle and each activated the power of Zodiac. A dome of silver light encompassed them, creating a star map of the constellations. In his hands, Valon held a rope of glittering gold. He wrapped one end around his arm, and Valia did the same, causing it to come alight with mana flowing from sister to brother. It was known as a medium rope, letting an individual cast the magic of whoever they were bound to. Like with runecrafting, the quality of the material determined how much power it could handle, and this rope, in particular, was made with every possible effort.
"Avagath," the two siblings murmured.
Immediately, a deep shudder moved through Valon. "Whew, I’ll never get used to it, but I was right; my own powers are already being magnified. I can feel every life form in Colbrand, and it’s incredible."
"How far can you feel physically?"
"A hundred feet. All this information…"
"Valon, are you sure you want to do this?"
"I’ve never been so sure about anything." He held out his hand over the center of the magic circle, and it came alight, the avenium glowing like magma and throwing out bolts of electricity. "Here goes nothing. Universal Outsight!" He slammed his hand down onto the center, fully activating the spell.
The dome of light from Zodiac and the magic circle became blindly bright, so much so that Valia had to cover her eyes with her arm to keep them from being burned. Within the light, she could hear her brother howling. She couldn’t see him, but she could feel him, gripping his skull and screaming with a voice she never wanted to hear again.
"Valon!" she cried out as the sheet burned like thermite. She unwrapped her arm from the rope and grabbed her brother, pulling him away from the flames. He was violently thrashing and continuing to scream, with blood pouring from his eyes, nose, and mouth as his brain threatened to hemorrhage.
"Valon, snap out of it!" There was nothing she could do to help him, and the screaming only stopped when he passed out, left comatose from the strain of the spell.
"The spell worked for just a couple seconds, but it was the closest he ever came to death, after a lifetime of combat. It took several potions and hours of work by knighthood healers to bring him back. He was unconscious for several days after that." Valia cleared her throat, trying to keep her voice steady. "And when he finally did wake up… he wasn’t the same. He was haunted, manic, screaming about the stars. "So many stars!" he’d say. "So many worlds!" I had never seen him so terrified. Then, one morning, he finally looked at me, and… it was like he was looking at dirt. There was no love, no hatred, just all-consuming indifference. His eyes were so dead; it was like he was a walking corpse. He disappeared after that, taking his notes and burning everything else. I haven’t seen him since then.
Then, during the Red Revelries, I found out that he released all the prisoners in the dungeon to use as a distraction while he raided the royal vault, stealing the kingdom’s Enochian artifacts. He’s lost his mind, and now I have to bear the weight of his sins."
"So that’s why the kingdom has you under surveillance. They think you either helped him, or you can be used as bait to lure him back."
"My brother and I helped build this country to what it is now, and in the blink of an eye, all that trust has disappeared. The kingdom wants everyone to believe that Valon died to avoid a scandal, and in the hopes that it’ll keep enemy countries from trying to recruit him. They forced me to go into teaching so that they could keep a close eye on me."
"Why didn’t you go looking for him?"
"As much as I would love to hunt him down and beat some sense into him, I honestly have no idea where he could be. The island of our clan was destroyed long ago by a tsunami, and he and I traveled the world for ages before coming to Uther. With all the craziness in his head, he could be a million miles away right now, zig-zagging across the map. Colbrand is our home now, and if I leave, we will never be able to return. It’s not in my nature to do nothing, but Valon has gone to a place I can’t follow, and right now, it feels like my only hope is that he comes to his senses and returns of his own will. But deep down, I know that it’s a foolish hope. I still don’t even know what he experienced to make him so crazy."
Noah took a sip of tea. "His ego was crushed."
"If that’s a joke, I’m not laughing."
"I don’t mean like he was beaten in a fight, and his manly pride was bruised. I mean he lost the ability to find meaning in anything around him. He became fully aware of his own insignificance in the cosmos and realized just how pointless everything is."
"I don’t understand."
"You told me that your sensory spell lets you feel distance in the air the same way you can feel the distance from your hand to your shoulder. You can reach out ten feet or so, right? Imagine reaching out billions of miles across the cosmos, losing all meaning of time and space as you discover innumerable worlds and stars that overshadow everything you hold dear. None of your beliefs, your fears, your hopes, and your accomplishments matter. Imagine seeing, feeling, and living the entirety of creation, and then your mind snaps back to your tiny flesh-and-blood body. He realized just how small he is, how pointless everything is."
"How nihilistic."
"Nihilism is something that people believe, the same way a spoiled child believes that war is terrible, but they can’t truly understand it, can’t grasp the inarguable truth of it. Everyone believes in something, some kind of abstract value. It’s how they live. It can be the importance of their wealth, faith, family, life, or anything. Whatever it is, everyone has to believe that something in their life matters. Even the most depressed, traumatized person with the most tragic life imaginable is capable of feeling something, believing that something is sacred and something is taboo."
"You speak as someone with experience. But what makes you someone who knows instead of someone who believes?" Noah looked out the window, watching the snow pelt the glass. What was originally a light flurry was turning into a blizzard. "Noah?"
"How old are you, Valia? Seven, eight hundred years?"
"It’s rude to ask a woman about her age, but I’m closer to seven hundred."
"Well I’m closer to seven thousand, but I honestly don’t know the exact number. It’s just my best estimate."
The vastness of his age surprised her, but she maintained her composure. "So you’re an immortal, I thought as much. I always wondered what the reason was for the strange things you said, like when we spoke about guilt in killing our enemies. You were hoping I was someone like you. You looked at me and saw someone who knows what it’s like to dwell among humans who live and die in a flash."
"Not immortal, eternal. My flesh ages and dies, but my soul lives on to find a new body after death. I have lived more than a hundred lives across more than a hundred different realities and timelines. There are infinite universes, in which every possible event that can happen does happen, and every time I die, I am reborn in another world, in the same time period, but with a different past or future. This world is just another I have journeyed to, and this body you see is just another vessel for my soul."
"I see. So then what do you need my brother’s research for?"
"It’s my only hope of stopping this."
He emptied his teacup, but Valia didn’t say anything. She just gazed at him with kind eyes, not in disbelief or confusion, but with the certainty that there was more he wanted to say. When he lowered the cup, she refilled it, but when he reached for it, she placed her hand on his, feeling him shake.
"Do you know what it’s like to be unable to die?" he finally asked, his voice trembling. "To know you can never close your eyes one last time and just fade away into nothingness? To be trapped in your mind, forced to hear your thoughts and see your memories until the end of time, with no way out? I’ve seen and experienced so much, and… I’m just so tired. I just want it to end. I try to force myself to care, to find meaning in the small things, but I’ve lived too long to believe anything is important. In the multiverse, nothing is special, nothing is unique, and nothing matters. In every life I live, I have to fake every tear, every smile, every relationship."
"I know you aren’t faking this."
Noah turned his hand over, holding hers. "I’ll help you find him," he finally said. "I still have hope that I can find the answers I need in the academy library or elsewhere in Colbrand, but if your brother hasn’t come back by the end of the year, we can leave and track him down."
"You’re serious?"
"Valon is the best chance I have at finally ending my curse. With his help and research, maybe I can experience true death and my journey can end. And even if he can’t help me, I suppose it would be nice to finally be able to talk to someone like myself. He learned the truth in an instant, and I had it ground into me over time. I’m curious what he’ll be like."
"Unless ordered by the king, doing this would make both of us deserters, even traitors. As your teacher, my stance on desertion and treason should be fairly obvious. That said, lecturing you would just be lip service. I’m not the kind of person who refuses hope when it presents itself. Deep down, I’ve been waiting for a push like this. Thank you. We’ll find him together and break your curse, I promise."
They continued to talk as snowflakes melted against the window.
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