07/25/24 our 1 year friend anniversary is soon
hi ryden i have no idea how to start this if im gonna be completely honest.. scratches my head... to start off, you are my closest friend. i care about you alot, and love you fraternally, platonically. you are one of the only two people that i like being around, and currently my most prioritized friend out of everyone. (which is really shocking considering we havent even been friends for a year yet. what have you done to me?)

i like talking to you most of the time, i like hearing about random things about your life, i like seeing the little game achievements you get, i like listening to you. i can spend the whole day on voice chat with you and just talk about random things (only if i have nothing better to do). everytime im around you i feel like im babysitting multiple children (yes you count as multiple because you are big) (in a good way though) (just like how i give multiple fucks about you or something,,)

your music taste is cool. i guess. mine isnt. umi's music taste is cool too. i am not sorry for ruining the blends and playlists we have together, and you shouldve gotten used to it by now. another thing is that i want you to know i will ditch everyone just to be around you instead. you do not piss me off as much as others do

when we first encountered eachother on daybreak, i had some fun playing around with you and the others. essentially, when i first got added to the groupchat and invited to that one server, i did not like talking to anybody there at all. genuinely, i found you and the others really annoying really quick, and i would often avoid talking there. i (un)fortunately got dragged into alot of gamenights and voicechats, i actually thought i was gonna be closer to your ex friend. i was wrong, and im kind of glad i was. i dont think id be this content with life if i had not talked to you more

i like that its easy to talk about my interests to you, because youre willing to get into them (sorry i couldnt get into yours, i just cant physically do it). im glad we agree on many things and i appreciate you for letting me be me. corny as it is, i feel actually cared for when i am around you, and its undeniably weird, but not unwelcomed. i like how easy it is for us to just.. be on vc and do nothing. we could be doing 2 completely different things, for example, when you're on cookie run tower of adventure and im doing.. god knows what. your presence can be comforting (holy cornball.)

i tell you things that i wouldnt tell others, even umi sometimes. i even vented to you a couple of times. isnt that an insane thought? (it isnt, i just realized that ive been very vulnerable around you) but anyway, thanks for not taking advantage of those moments and for not leaking anything serious. im usually very unfiltered whenever i am around you, and sometimes fuck up my words a little (stop making fun of me. i should be the one to bully you) i want to let you know that i trust you alot and im here for you. even when we do fight sometimes and it gets serious. (im not good at emotions) thanks for being patient with me

one thing ive noticed is how youre almost always there for me even when i lash out at you, i have had multiple episodes where i just started hating and screaming at you for seemingly.. no reason. and i am also really unsure of why you just shrug it off like nothing (that actually makes me feel better) i just wanna say that youre actually pretty mature despite your personality and whatnot, you take accountability and know when to stop, and specifically, you know when to apologize.

i.. am sorry, for not being a good friend, i am really forgetful of things and occasionally need someone to be there with me even at my worst (you are that someone, so thank you) i dont give you gifts, i dont remember important dates (such as your birthday and other stuff), and i feel like i couldve been better if i wasnt.. mental. sometimes i feel like a neglectful father and that youre the only family i have left. im still confused on why youre so good to me when ive done nothing but been a complete asshole sometimes

overall, i am not a good person. i can be considered very problematic actually, yet you still stick with me. i want to ask why, but i already know the answer from all of our past conversations. even then, i cant get over the fact that you actually.. see me as a person? i guess im just not really used to this (but its a good feeling, thank you) you should know that youre one of the.. coolest people ive met (i cant believe i just called you cool. we will not be talking about this in dms)

im grateful to have you in my life and that you dont judge me for who i am, because im not someone that is easily tolerable .. i want to thank you for being you specifically, because you treat me like an equal and because you make my life better (just by a little bit) (also, i got two people to betaread/check for grammar and spelling errors, if you even try to say something about my grammar i will actually shove my healing crystals up your ass)

also we are sword and medkit, rocket and broker. i do not make the rules. and tons of other duos that i probably wont add because im too tired to write anything else. sorry buddy.